Palm Sunday
Q: What do bachelor's call Valentine's Day?
A: Palm Sunday!
When I was a little kid I suppose this kinda thing mattered to me. Now that I've been on my own for quite some time, it's just another day. I remember my mom making me get dressed up for church and having to suffer through some stupid sermon, while being told to shut up and sit still. I wanted to go play outside instead. The cool thing is afterwards they had free donuts and punch. I would get on a sugar high and then go bully some of the smaller kids in order to burn off that energy.
I'm disappointed with Easter now and all the other Christian holidays that have been rooted in Pagan heritage. Aside from being grossly commercialized beyond all conventional standards, they still refuse to cross the threshold and make an S&M Easter Bunny. Or a Satanic Easter Wolf that tears up the Easter Bunny and all the baby chicks you see on those Hallmark greeting cards. I even thought of the perfect card for that too. An idyllic Easter scene on the front of the card, containing bunnies, chicks, baskets and Easter eggs, until you open the inside and the Satanic Easter Wolf with an inverted pentagram between its eyes has massacred the lot. Body parts are strewn everywhere, Easter baskets have been smashed, and the eggs broken wide open. He's standing amidst the chaos caked in blood, with the look of demonic possession in its eyes. The winning caption would read "The Easter Bunny called in sick this year, so I had to fill in".
This card would be a real hoot.
A: Palm Sunday!
When I was a little kid I suppose this kinda thing mattered to me. Now that I've been on my own for quite some time, it's just another day. I remember my mom making me get dressed up for church and having to suffer through some stupid sermon, while being told to shut up and sit still. I wanted to go play outside instead. The cool thing is afterwards they had free donuts and punch. I would get on a sugar high and then go bully some of the smaller kids in order to burn off that energy.
I'm disappointed with Easter now and all the other Christian holidays that have been rooted in Pagan heritage. Aside from being grossly commercialized beyond all conventional standards, they still refuse to cross the threshold and make an S&M Easter Bunny. Or a Satanic Easter Wolf that tears up the Easter Bunny and all the baby chicks you see on those Hallmark greeting cards. I even thought of the perfect card for that too. An idyllic Easter scene on the front of the card, containing bunnies, chicks, baskets and Easter eggs, until you open the inside and the Satanic Easter Wolf with an inverted pentagram between its eyes has massacred the lot. Body parts are strewn everywhere, Easter baskets have been smashed, and the eggs broken wide open. He's standing amidst the chaos caked in blood, with the look of demonic possession in its eyes. The winning caption would read "The Easter Bunny called in sick this year, so I had to fill in".
This card would be a real hoot.
posted by Machine at 2:07 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home