Army Dumb

I've been working for the Army now, as a contractor. My job is fairly simple - I answer phones, make appointments for doctors, and help soldiers with their medical exams. I work in a hospital. The work is cakewalk and I go home stress-free every day of the week. Life is great. The problem is that the joke about "Army Dumb" isn't a euphemism at all. It actually exists.

I figured that "Army Dumb" was always some tongue-in-cheek joke - you know - for that one idiot that everyone has heard about, but nobody has known or met in person. Or, it was some stupidly outrageous regulation that everyone has to adhere to (which is more commonplace than not). But rest assured, it's the real deal. Everyday I deal with half-wits and morons who can't barely string together a complete sentence in English without throwing in some twist somewhere - be it ghetto, trailer park, or barrio. For the most part it's enlisted who are semi-illiterate, however there have been some officers who have come into the office I work, and I wonder what fucking planet they're from as well. You give them simple instruction, and they look at you like you're crazy.

Perhaps the best part is when people call up, asking what to do for their medical exam. I politely tell them the instructions, but then they want to argue it. They ALWAYS want to fucking argue. Listen, shit head, you're not at Burger King, and you can't have it your way. Shut the fuck up, do as I say, and like Blockbuster Video, go home happy. It's not rocket science.

Army Dumb is no lie. Army Dumb comes from the ghetto, the trailer park, and the barrio. Considering where Uncle Scam does most of his recruiting, it doesn't surprise me one bit. I need to get a real job.

Heh.