Deicide versus Peter Pan

Holy Shit.

Looking at the Peter Pan website, it got me thinking a little bit. This guy, Randy Constan, he's from Tampa and has photos from all over the surrounding area. He claims to be a devout Christian and spreads the word of Jesus Christ through his "Through the Cracks Ministry". Boy if there was ever a double-entendre with that name, I would be the first to see the joke with that!

Since my life has become a reflection of nothing more than internet porn and fart jokes, I figure I would put my sophmoric humor to work and come up with the ultimate challenge:





"RAAWWRRR! We're DEICIDE and we're from TAMPA! This is our city!!"




"Oh hey boysth ~ ! What are you thmelly brutesth doing out here?! This is Peter Pan turf! Now skee-daddle already."


"FUCK YOU! We've claimed Tampa in the name of Satan and we'll turn this place into a living Hell on Earth if we have anything to say about it!"


"Oh you guysth are so sthilly. Don'tchoo think so, Brad, Corey and Josh? Here they are prancing around in their thweaty black leather outfits, getting all worked up over nothing. Really boysth! We can SHARE. SHARE the community! Jesus likes us to share!"


"YEAARRRGH! We HATE your Jesus Christ and will do anything to blaspheme and mock him! His followers are weak! We are strong! We are Satanists!!! No pity for you!!!"


"Oh you guysth are too much. Heavensth to Betsy. Why would anyone want to say something as ridiculous as that? Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation. Besidesth what has this Satan guy done for you?"


"FUCK YOU, PETER PAN! Satan has given us STRENGTH! He has given us kick-ass tunes to praise his name and to mock your puny Christ! We shall reign supremely while you suffer under the yolk of the Anti-Christ! YEEAAARRRRRGHHHHH!"


"Listhen boyz, you were kind of amusthing at first, but now thisth is really getting out of control. Please sthop already! You're not being very nice."


"Mwa ha ha ~ ! Fuck you! HARGH! I'm Glen Benton and NOBODY tells me what do! I rule! I shall show you HOW MUCH I RULE by playing a kick ass bass solo! HARGH!"


"And I'll play 'Kumbaya' on the guitar, to show everyone the healing powersth of Jesusth Christ! Jesusth is so wonderful!"



"Fuck this asshole! Let's help Glen out and FUCKING ROCK OUT HARD! DEICIDE STYLE! YEARGH!"


"Oh no! I better get grandpa to help me sthing a sthong about the beauty of homo-erotic relationships. Grandpa, play the kathzoo while I continue playing guitar. Now EVERYBODY join in!"


"HA HA HA HA HA ~ !! We're all KICKING YOUR ASS! HAIL SATAN!"


"Oh no! They're pulling out the BIG GUNSth. Goodness Gracious! GAY BLADESth! Transform and ATTACK!"


"Yesth bossth!"

*WHAM*

*POW*

*SOCK*

*BIFF*

*YIPE!*


"Oh no! You big brutesth are tougher than you actually look! I need the power! The power of Jesus!"


"MWAA HA HA HA HA HA ~ ! Jesus can't save you now! BEHOLD! MY SUPER POWER! ANTI-CHRIST MAN! YEAAARGGH!"


"And here's OUR SUPER POWER! The FAIRY BROTHERS!"

*POOF*


"We're gayer than Peter Pan and his GAY BLADES put together! We'll convert you to dressing like the Village People and singing Diana Ross tunes in no time! We'll save you!"

*ZOT*

*BARF*

*JIZZ*

*FART*

*KA-ZAAM*


"Yeargh! No! PETER PAN AND HIS FAG FRIENDS ARE STARTING TO WIN! HOW CAN THIS BE? I know! I shall call upon the ULTIMATE EVIL! SATAN! In Nomine De Nostri Satanas Luciferi Excesli.......!"

*POOF*


"You rang?"


"HOLY SHIT! What is HE doing here?!? You leave me no choice but to fight fire with fire! I call upon the ULTIMATE POWER in the UNIVERSE!

*POOF*





"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!"


The End.