Sin City

Goddammit. Sin City.

Now THIS IS A FUCKING MOVIE!!

Listen all you HOLLYWOOD FUCKS. LEARN FROM THIS FILM. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino know what they fuck they're doing! After all, they directed From Dusk 'til Dawn 10 years ago and it was the coolest film I had seen all year at the time. Except for the fucking vampires, the movie was solid from start to finish. George Clooney was the fucking coolest dude around, Harvey Keitel and Juliette Lewis were great supporting cast members, and Quentin Tarantino is the ONLY comic relief side kick I can tolerate besides Steve Buscemi. And Cheech Marin playing 3 separate roles and pulling them off successfully? Brilliant. No other film director has managed to pull off a kick-ass film of such magnitude, aside from Lucas before he went senile.

For starters, I can't help to feel like I've watched a KMFDM video for 2 solid hours, but without hit songs like Juke Joint Jezebel, Light, or Moron playing in the background. Aidan Hughes, aka BRUTE! has been doing dark, monochrome style of artwork for over 20 years now, and Sin City has the same feel to it, but with a fresh coat of paint thrown on to make it marketable. You look at the film and compare it to Frank Miller's original artwork and it looks closer to a live-action KMFDM album cover than anything else. Just take a look!





While I'm not really a big fan of Bruce Willis or Jessica Alba, I will say that actors like Mickey Rourke, Benicio Del Toro, Brittany Murphy, and Elijah Wood really made this film come together and make it the 10 out of 10 rating I give it. By all merits, Lost Highway by David Lynch should've been along these lines when it released in 1997. Gritty, and unforgiving like the sledge hammer in Mickey Rourke's face in the film.



Speaking of Mickey Rourke, his character Marv was by far the most kick-ass and hard core of all characters. Hemmingway would've been proud of such a noteworthy anti-hero had he been around to witness such a film. This guy took getting knocked around, ran over, pistol-whipped and a sledge hammer to the face repeatedly and shook it off like it was nothing! Fucking Christ! This guy makes Marines look like kindergarteners, and I think Marines are the fucking shit! You DON'T fuck with a Marine if you know what's good for you.

What I liked most about Marv was his ingenuity involving gasoline, razor wire, a hack saw and heavy gloves. Elijah Wood's character Kevin resembles a cannibalistic Harry Potter wearing a Charlie Brown t-shirt and they spar off a time or two. While I would've wrapped the fucker up with the razor wire, pound steel nails into his skull and then pour the gasoline to finish the job, Marv does one better by turning Kevin into a quadrupel amputee and letting the dog feast on him before cutting off his head with the hack saw. Different approach but just as brilliant.






Now is it any wonder that Benicio Del Toro's character Jackie Boy resembles Richard Ramirez, aka the Night Stalker? Look at the two. Fucking uncanny. I was really digging the fact there was a strong resemblance since I think Richard Ramirez was the coolest serial killer from the 1980's. He was the epitome of everything that was wrong with that decade yet he played the public for the assholes we really are. But enough of that. This isn't about how the 80's was the best and worst of both worlds.



If it's one thing I love, it's trashy women. Trailer park trash and titty dancers primarily, which is why the role Brittany Murphy played was just oh-so HOT. If it's one thing I've noticed about her, Brittany Murphy actively pursues those trashy sleazy roles in Hollywood and I love her for it. Unlike Denise Richards or some other wanna-be goodie two-shoes on camera, Brittany uses her sexual attraction as her strongpoint to sell the character she portrays and that's true talent. She plays Del Toro's girlfriend in the film and gets knocked around pretty good too.



If it's one thing I hate, it's Devon Aoki. Look at her fucking face. I just want to bash it in with a crow bar or something and make it flatter than it already is! She's not hot AT ALL. When I first saw her in that shitty film 2 Fast 2 Furious I wanted to throw up or behave violently in some odd way - I found her face to be that offensive. While I'm not handsome by any stretch of the imagination, at the very least I know that what I lack in looks I also lack in personality. I'm a total concept loser if you know what I mean, and don't try hiding the truth. So on second thought, perhaps I shouldn't bag on Devon Aoki so much considering I could probably lay her like a carpet with a little bit of working up and a bottle of cheap wine. Hey no gorgeous chick would touch me so why not her?

Sin City is a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale industry. Dare I say to call it art, it's that fucking awesome. The inside jokes, the one-liners, the choreography and the acting are all worthy of an Oscar and would be surprised if this film doesn't win at least one in any of the categories eligible. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez once again prove they know what the hell they're doing when it comes to making movies and put all those other boobs to shame.

It's time for Speilberg, Silver, Bruckheimer, Reitman, Zemeckis and Lucas to go play shuffleboard at the retirement home with the likes of Grandpa Simpson already.