Goldfrapp

What the fuck. I'm sitting at Julie's house yesterday morning when she hands me the remote control to the television and tells me to make myself at home while she's cooking us breakfast. Bored with whatever watered-down family movie that's showing, I decide to switch channels until something decent pops up. Now if you've ever been exposed to European television, the majority of it sucks. American television sucks too, but the stuff they put on during the daytime would put even an insomniac to sleep. Really boring shit we're talking here, so I put it on the British imitation M-TV channel. At first it's the typical Top 40 shite you hear in the States. Goddammit it sucks! I start to study my German book and drown out what's going on in the background but then a video that breaks all the boring cookie-cutter stuff pops up. A British band by the name of GOLDFRAPP has this hottie blonde dressed in godawful 70's Debbie Harry-style clothing as she sings a song entitled "Ride the white horse" like ABBA meets the Lords of Acid. Now for the unenlightened, ABBA never truly died here in Europe, like they did in the States. Despite the band breaking up ages ago, every few years there's a remix of an ABBA song or a re-release of one of their albums or a greatest hits of some shit. Kinda like the same way KISS never seems to die, despite the fact they haven't released shit in forever too. Well, at first I'm thinking this is just another typical Euro-trash wanna-be disco group since it doesn't sound like anything original, but then they start mixing some techno in the background that doesn't sound half-bad. Like I said, ABBA meets the Lords of Acid. I'm starting to dig it somewhat, but then the weirdest fucking thing in this video happens next! They show miss hot-tits all dolled up walking with toilet paper stuck to her shoes, eating a slice of pizza with cigarette butts stuck in it like birthday candles, and all sorts of close-ups of rotten food and shit. What takes the cake next is when she's standing in front of a homeless dude wrapped in mummy bandages, eating out of a garbage can like he hasn't had a meal in ages. What the fuck? This video then proceeds to become even more interesting when 4 dudes dressed in tighty-whiteys all hop out of a dumpster covered in filth and start dancing behind her as she continues to coo in this voice that would make most guys shot their load in their pants. Fucking hell - talk about mixed messages. I have never seen a video this original in a very long time! Granted I don't watch much television to begin with and avoid most American Top 40 like the plague, but goddammit if I don't wanna get this album when it releases. The video ends with her flushing the said homeless mummy dude down the toilet with his foot sticking out and her trying to push him in with a plunger, and the 4 said tight-whitey guys dancing around in cardboard boxes. I shit thee not. If you check out the official Goldfrapp website you can see how fucked-up yet original these guys are if you click the "Send a postcard" icon and go over to the video. They've been underground for the longest time and think they're getting noticed finally - they may or may not make it to an American market. Considering that most music I like is either underground or not part of the mainstream push, this doesn't surprise me one bit. I have yet to find a German music store in the local area and from talking to people who have been here for quite some time there ain't shit in Kaiserslautern for music shops. I just might as well go on-line and rip their shit or something. I could bust a load just from staring at the album cover alone......