Vampire movies suck
Goddammit.
Avoid this piece of shit stinker film if you know what's good for you.
Vampire movies were cool when you were a kid - like 5 or 6 years old. They scared the piss outta yah and you thought Dracula would come bite you while you were sleeping. Or if you were me, you really dug the shit and wanted to be a vampire until your dad took you to see Star Wars for your 6th birthday. Bella Lugosi, Christopher Lee - the acting was great and it lead lots to the imagine.
Not so now.
Underworld Evolution is a fucking waste of film. Kate Beckinsale is definitely a hot piece of ass to look at, but aside from the immediate eye candy, the movie goes limp - just like my dick after all day jerking off. I was bored with the entire film from start to finish with its substandard plot and was hoping it would pick up at any moment. Before I knew it the film was over with both vampire and were-wolf bad guys dying. I should've known better than to see the sequel considering I wasn't impressed with the original Underworld.
What royally pissed me off is how during the film everyone was getting up every 5 minutes or so to walk up the aisle. Stupid goddamned teenagers primarily. Some woman brought her goddamned 2 year old to the film also, which would not shut the fuck up to save its life. A key part of the film is playing and the fucking toddler is making bird calls or some shit. If she was considerate she'd take the kid outside or whatever but she wasn't about to do that. Fucking ghetto as she wanna be.
Base theaters are notorious for these ass-hats for some reason - perhaps it's just the segment of society that joins the service - who knows. I have yet to see the shit happen in a normal civilian movie theater. I remember seeing The Punisher and The Devil's Rejects in the theater and within 5 minutes, any cry-baby or noise-maker was outta the facility. Parents were good about taking their kids out, especially if it wasn't appropriate for them to be watching. All I know is that the German movie theater (Kino) is worth paying the extra Euro to go see these films since I don't have to deal with the shit.
And they don't show stupid vampire movies.
Avoid this piece of shit stinker film if you know what's good for you.
Vampire movies were cool when you were a kid - like 5 or 6 years old. They scared the piss outta yah and you thought Dracula would come bite you while you were sleeping. Or if you were me, you really dug the shit and wanted to be a vampire until your dad took you to see Star Wars for your 6th birthday. Bella Lugosi, Christopher Lee - the acting was great and it lead lots to the imagine.
Not so now.
Underworld Evolution is a fucking waste of film. Kate Beckinsale is definitely a hot piece of ass to look at, but aside from the immediate eye candy, the movie goes limp - just like my dick after all day jerking off. I was bored with the entire film from start to finish with its substandard plot and was hoping it would pick up at any moment. Before I knew it the film was over with both vampire and were-wolf bad guys dying. I should've known better than to see the sequel considering I wasn't impressed with the original Underworld.
What royally pissed me off is how during the film everyone was getting up every 5 minutes or so to walk up the aisle. Stupid goddamned teenagers primarily. Some woman brought her goddamned 2 year old to the film also, which would not shut the fuck up to save its life. A key part of the film is playing and the fucking toddler is making bird calls or some shit. If she was considerate she'd take the kid outside or whatever but she wasn't about to do that. Fucking ghetto as she wanna be.
Base theaters are notorious for these ass-hats for some reason - perhaps it's just the segment of society that joins the service - who knows. I have yet to see the shit happen in a normal civilian movie theater. I remember seeing The Punisher and The Devil's Rejects in the theater and within 5 minutes, any cry-baby or noise-maker was outta the facility. Parents were good about taking their kids out, especially if it wasn't appropriate for them to be watching. All I know is that the German movie theater (Kino) is worth paying the extra Euro to go see these films since I don't have to deal with the shit.
And they don't show stupid vampire movies.
posted by Machine at 6:20 PM
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