F-N-G and the Spring Chicken

So. We got a new guy in yesterday. A Fucking New Guy. An F-N-G. This dude is so fucking wet behind the ears it's not even funny, but he's not some dork that just came to us straight from boot camp or anything. He's been in at least 3 years and has an idea of what the fuck goes on at the very least. He's somewhat dorky and reminds me of Tokyo Joe from Misawa although he's not as much as a fucking ass-kisser and wood-chaser like Tokyo Joe was from what I've gathered so far. I'll refer to F-N-G as "Dork" until I can come up with a better name. I suppose he's cool but time will tell. Anycase he needs a set of wheels since hitch-hiking in the KMC area is frowned upon and he has a wife with him. She's a little hottie too - a strawberry blonde with decent tits but a huge dumper of an ass. Eh. Considering he resembles Where's Waldo in BDU's I suppose he landed himself a winner pretty good. I dunno. I took them out to go house-hunting today and where we went was WAAAAAY the fuck away from base. I mean it was a good 30 minute drive just to Vogelweh alone to see this house, only all the decent houses closer to work are presently occupied. More importantly, I took them out while driving the Spring Chicken since I have a plan. Dork needs a set of wheels, ergo I can sell him the Spring Chicken for dirt-fucking-cheap (what I paid for it) and the problem is solved. I don't have to worry about this piece of shit car breaking down on me anymore and he won't be late for work (unless it breaks down on him, of course!). A win-win sitch all around. So he seemed pretty excited I was going to depart with my beloved Chicken. I told him how fucked up and retarded the car can be at times and he was digging it nonetheless. As far as he was concerned if I could transfer the title on the spot, it would be a done-deal, however there are some technicalities that need to be met first, and I won't bore you with such details. So back to this house they were looking at - she loved it from the moment she saw it but Dork didn't like it at all. Speaking with the German land-lady the current person who was in the process of moving out had alot of shit to take care of before everything could be finalized. Furniture was still in the house and the electricity had been cut which meant it was no longer being used. What fucking grossed me out was when I went to open the fridge to show Dork what a German fridge (Der Kuhlshrank) looks like, there was a shit-load of moldy food that had been left to grow AND THE SMELL WAS FUCKING DIS-GUST-ING. What's even worse is how the smell filled the entire house too! BARF! Dork and his woman got into a slight argument as to why he didn't like the house that they cut short to discuss later. While I am NO expert when it comes to relationships, I do know that usually if a chick digs a place she's discovered, chances are she's not going to change her mind. It has something to do with the nesting instinct and unless they find a better place she's hooked on it. If Dork is a smart man he'll let her have her way or else he'll be jerking off in the bathroom with the daily edition of the Bild Newspaper. For the unenlightened out there, they have a topless chick on every front page, everyday. They're practically giving porn away in this country! It was getting late and I took them back to where they live in Billeting currently. Before that I took them out for their first Doner Kebab and Dork was hooked on them right away. I can tell he's going to eat those things like they're going out of style if given the chance. I'll have to take them out this weekend or something but I have school Friday night since last Monday was Martin Luther King day. Who knows? Maybe I can swing so after class I pick them up and then take them down to K-Town to get trashed. I'll bring my camera and take the necessary black-mail photographs as the night progresses. Heh.