Video Game Movies
Most video game movies suck.
Doom.
Tomb Raider 1 & 2.
Alone in the Dark.
House of the Dead.
What compels Hollywood to crank out these stinker films I don't know, but for some reason I always remain hopeful that someone will get the formula right for once and make a really kick-ass film.
Well. Almost.
I went to see the film Grandma's Boy tonight - a film about a 35 year old loser who tests video games for a living that gets evicted from his apartment when his roomie fails to pay the rent. See, his roomie has an addiction to Filipino hookers and instead all the money went to them. As a result he's forced to go live at his grandma's house and deal with her fucking old biddy roomies as well.
This film is an Adam Sandler movie, believe it or not. I think Adam Sandler is annoying as hell and usually avoid films with him starring as the main character, however this film does justice. It rightfully stereotypes every kind of video game dork that's out there from the fat 500 pound blubbering piece of whale shit to the scrawny nerd that dresses like he's a double from The Matrix. They're pretty brutal with the insults and rightfully so. The crowning piece is when David Spade plays a gay waiter in some New-Age restaurant they all go to - if you've ever seen the film Joe Dirt then you know how fucking hilarious he can be at times. Rob Schneider makes a cameo early in the film as well but isn't anywhere near as funny.
What the fuck possesses people to fucking geek out? I mean shit, I love video games as much as the next person but I'm not going to be some fucking dork who dresses up like Super Mario at the next gaming convention. I shit you not. Grown people do this crap all the time and think they're cool. I saw this especially at the San Diego Comic Con this past July and wondered what the fuck was going on. I can understand a kid in elementary school doing it or even a kid in kindergarten but a GROWN FUCKING MAN? Fuck me running.
Anycase everyone who has ever picked up a controller and played Legend of Zelda or Halo will really have a blast with the film. Any pissed off girlfriend or wife whose man pays more attention to his X-Box than her will have all the more reason to hate video games after seeing this. It makes me wish I was dating someone right now just so I could rub it in her face or something.
Oh yeah. And the fat kid gets laid in the film by a hot chick with huge tits.
Fucking awesome.
Doom.
Tomb Raider 1 & 2.
Alone in the Dark.
House of the Dead.
What compels Hollywood to crank out these stinker films I don't know, but for some reason I always remain hopeful that someone will get the formula right for once and make a really kick-ass film.
Well. Almost.
I went to see the film Grandma's Boy tonight - a film about a 35 year old loser who tests video games for a living that gets evicted from his apartment when his roomie fails to pay the rent. See, his roomie has an addiction to Filipino hookers and instead all the money went to them. As a result he's forced to go live at his grandma's house and deal with her fucking old biddy roomies as well.
This film is an Adam Sandler movie, believe it or not. I think Adam Sandler is annoying as hell and usually avoid films with him starring as the main character, however this film does justice. It rightfully stereotypes every kind of video game dork that's out there from the fat 500 pound blubbering piece of whale shit to the scrawny nerd that dresses like he's a double from The Matrix. They're pretty brutal with the insults and rightfully so. The crowning piece is when David Spade plays a gay waiter in some New-Age restaurant they all go to - if you've ever seen the film Joe Dirt then you know how fucking hilarious he can be at times. Rob Schneider makes a cameo early in the film as well but isn't anywhere near as funny.
What the fuck possesses people to fucking geek out? I mean shit, I love video games as much as the next person but I'm not going to be some fucking dork who dresses up like Super Mario at the next gaming convention. I shit you not. Grown people do this crap all the time and think they're cool. I saw this especially at the San Diego Comic Con this past July and wondered what the fuck was going on. I can understand a kid in elementary school doing it or even a kid in kindergarten but a GROWN FUCKING MAN? Fuck me running.
Anycase everyone who has ever picked up a controller and played Legend of Zelda or Halo will really have a blast with the film. Any pissed off girlfriend or wife whose man pays more attention to his X-Box than her will have all the more reason to hate video games after seeing this. It makes me wish I was dating someone right now just so I could rub it in her face or something.
Oh yeah. And the fat kid gets laid in the film by a hot chick with huge tits.
Fucking awesome.
posted by Machine at 9:20 PM
1 Comments:
What do you mean you can't comment on my blog? I think you're full of shit babe.
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