Video Games
Well, I went to the BX tonight and picked up 3 new video game magazines.
Yes, the excitement in my life has dwindled down to the point where I look forward to the new X-Box, PlayStation and Multi-platform gaming magazines every month, as well as the nifty DVD that comes with them. Usually they have free samples of games and short movie clips to watch, as a means of enticing you the reader to purchase whatever they have selected to advertise. Not a shabby deal either.
Considering the last 3 posts all centered around Doom 3, it shouldn't be any shock to the 2 people who actually read this blog. Maybe a third person if that Bunny chick takes the occasional interest in my ramblings, but I don't think that's the case. Whatever. This post is about my love for computer gaming and not another blogger!
I love video games as much as I hate them. I love them for their artistic content, the dialogue of the voice actors and the innovation that goes into creating a game. Alot of thankless hours goes into developing a game for the market, with missed birthdays and 20 hour days easily being the norm. Hygiene becomes laxed and the programmers all suffer from photophobia since they spend long hours locked in a dark room, staring at a computer screen. They thrive on stress and Mountain Dew, with pizza and Cup O' Noodles becoming their staple diet. It's not uncommon for them to bring a sleeping bag to work and camp out beneath their desk for the night, or for a giant pile of garbage to collect in the corner of the room they're in. Aside from having to live in a bunker during combat operations or training simulations for a week straight, few people can relate to that kind of pressure or lifestyle. It's truly a labor of love on their part.
I hate video games because I tend to stay locked in my room for an entire weekend if I get hooked on a game I like. Like the video game programmer, I become somewhat of a shut-in and only eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom long enough to get the job done. When I was living in DC, I spent a week straight during the Christmas season locked in my apartment. There was a grocery store down the street from where I lived, and I had stocked up on all the munchie essentials: Bean burritos, milk, the El Cheapo 2 liter Diet Cola that costs only 99 cents (Giant Brand), a couple big bags of chips, and a couple boxes of Dots candy. No way in Hell was I leaving, come Hell or High water. I was on a retro-kick and had purchased a Super Nintendo game that I had never played before (Chrono Trigger) and was hooked on it like the biggest nerd ever. All I did was eat and sleep that week. Shaving, showering, and any direct contact with the outside world in general did not happen. At all. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time and I didn't know enough cool people to hang out with so I just let myself go. I stayed confined to my apartment and never did solve the stupid game.
I also hate video games not only because I become the very thing I hate, but because it cuts into the chances of me getting laid. Would I rather spend $50 on a girl I am dating for dinner and a movie, or would I rather buy the new Leisure Suit Larry game where I can stare at all the titties I want to? Chances are the girl I'm dating will get pissed at some retarded comment I make and walk out on me during dinner, so no blow job for me. At least by spending the cash on a game with computer ta-ta's in them, I'm guaranteed to see what I want without having to dodge an emotional minefield for the evening. What's worse is the women in the games are so much more attractive personality-wise than the majority of women I know in real life. Of course it's just acting but I would much rather date a girl with the personality of Cortana from the Halo game instead of listen to some girl like Melanie bitch and fuss all day about how much she hates me. The sad truth is that there are more girls like Melanie out there that hate the men they're dating than there are chicks with kick-ass personalities.
So that has me thinking. Why not invent a game where you take some down-and-out loser (me) that nobody likes and guide him through some experiences with women as a dating sim. The dating sim franchise has been a big hit in Japan for a long time now, and they're just starting to capture the attention of the American audience. The original Leisure Suit Larry game kinda did that, only Larry was lovable in his own geeky sort of way and he would score some really hot chicks. I am the exact opposite. People hate me, and I kind of take a strange comfort in that knowing that. If it's one thing I've succeded in doing thus far in Life, it's having a talent for getting on people's nerves. Everything else - my exploits as a paramedic, my ambitions to become a film producer in the porno industry, my dabblings in the occult - all pale in comparison to my being a royal pain in the ass. What a concept.
Have the game center around me being a pain in the ass to everyone, telling people to go fuck themselves, trying to score with some big-titted bimbo only to get shot down for some black guy instead, rocking out to some new Death Metal CD, and play video games. Have me avoid doing work at all costs, watching some snuff-hentai (Legend of the Over Fiend, anyone?), and see how long I can sleep. In short, the game would be about my everyday life.
I would be the total Anti-Hero Sim.
Yes, the excitement in my life has dwindled down to the point where I look forward to the new X-Box, PlayStation and Multi-platform gaming magazines every month, as well as the nifty DVD that comes with them. Usually they have free samples of games and short movie clips to watch, as a means of enticing you the reader to purchase whatever they have selected to advertise. Not a shabby deal either.
Considering the last 3 posts all centered around Doom 3, it shouldn't be any shock to the 2 people who actually read this blog. Maybe a third person if that Bunny chick takes the occasional interest in my ramblings, but I don't think that's the case. Whatever. This post is about my love for computer gaming and not another blogger!
I love video games as much as I hate them. I love them for their artistic content, the dialogue of the voice actors and the innovation that goes into creating a game. Alot of thankless hours goes into developing a game for the market, with missed birthdays and 20 hour days easily being the norm. Hygiene becomes laxed and the programmers all suffer from photophobia since they spend long hours locked in a dark room, staring at a computer screen. They thrive on stress and Mountain Dew, with pizza and Cup O' Noodles becoming their staple diet. It's not uncommon for them to bring a sleeping bag to work and camp out beneath their desk for the night, or for a giant pile of garbage to collect in the corner of the room they're in. Aside from having to live in a bunker during combat operations or training simulations for a week straight, few people can relate to that kind of pressure or lifestyle. It's truly a labor of love on their part.
I hate video games because I tend to stay locked in my room for an entire weekend if I get hooked on a game I like. Like the video game programmer, I become somewhat of a shut-in and only eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom long enough to get the job done. When I was living in DC, I spent a week straight during the Christmas season locked in my apartment. There was a grocery store down the street from where I lived, and I had stocked up on all the munchie essentials: Bean burritos, milk, the El Cheapo 2 liter Diet Cola that costs only 99 cents (Giant Brand), a couple big bags of chips, and a couple boxes of Dots candy. No way in Hell was I leaving, come Hell or High water. I was on a retro-kick and had purchased a Super Nintendo game that I had never played before (Chrono Trigger) and was hooked on it like the biggest nerd ever. All I did was eat and sleep that week. Shaving, showering, and any direct contact with the outside world in general did not happen. At all. I didn't have a girlfriend at the time and I didn't know enough cool people to hang out with so I just let myself go. I stayed confined to my apartment and never did solve the stupid game.
I also hate video games not only because I become the very thing I hate, but because it cuts into the chances of me getting laid. Would I rather spend $50 on a girl I am dating for dinner and a movie, or would I rather buy the new Leisure Suit Larry game where I can stare at all the titties I want to? Chances are the girl I'm dating will get pissed at some retarded comment I make and walk out on me during dinner, so no blow job for me. At least by spending the cash on a game with computer ta-ta's in them, I'm guaranteed to see what I want without having to dodge an emotional minefield for the evening. What's worse is the women in the games are so much more attractive personality-wise than the majority of women I know in real life. Of course it's just acting but I would much rather date a girl with the personality of Cortana from the Halo game instead of listen to some girl like Melanie bitch and fuss all day about how much she hates me. The sad truth is that there are more girls like Melanie out there that hate the men they're dating than there are chicks with kick-ass personalities.
So that has me thinking. Why not invent a game where you take some down-and-out loser (me) that nobody likes and guide him through some experiences with women as a dating sim. The dating sim franchise has been a big hit in Japan for a long time now, and they're just starting to capture the attention of the American audience. The original Leisure Suit Larry game kinda did that, only Larry was lovable in his own geeky sort of way and he would score some really hot chicks. I am the exact opposite. People hate me, and I kind of take a strange comfort in that knowing that. If it's one thing I've succeded in doing thus far in Life, it's having a talent for getting on people's nerves. Everything else - my exploits as a paramedic, my ambitions to become a film producer in the porno industry, my dabblings in the occult - all pale in comparison to my being a royal pain in the ass. What a concept.
Have the game center around me being a pain in the ass to everyone, telling people to go fuck themselves, trying to score with some big-titted bimbo only to get shot down for some black guy instead, rocking out to some new Death Metal CD, and play video games. Have me avoid doing work at all costs, watching some snuff-hentai (Legend of the Over Fiend, anyone?), and see how long I can sleep. In short, the game would be about my everyday life.
I would be the total Anti-Hero Sim.
posted by Machine at 1:13 PM
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