Older Women
Last night's topic was on Girlfriends in general, with me touching on the topic of older women as well. After jerking off furiously and falling asleep, the little demon inside my head suggested I expand on the subject some more. So here goes.
I usually avoid dating older women for the most part. They either have kids from some previous asshole, are fat, or are both fat and have kids from some previous asshole. It's very rare you'll find some middle ground where you meet an older woman that has neither. You'd think that having kids is living proof they love to fuck, but it's also living proof they're damaged goods since they tried going the distance, only they fell short of the mile. It's because of either reason I am reluctant to date someone in their 30's and 40's, and choose to stick to the dumber 20-something crowd. The last girl I was banging was a 20 year old nymphomaniac that just could never get enough - the only reason why she ended things with me was because I didn't trust the birth control patch she was using and wanted to switch to condoms instead. Call me paranoid, but outside having a regular piece of ass, I'm not looking to create any "Little Machines" if I can take that ounce of precaution.
Let's talk about Janet aka Jan. I met her when she first arrived in Korea late last year (2004) and thought to myself she might have what it takes to be the next Short Bus Mafia chick. Tall, red hair, blue eyes, the only thing that seemed to be going against her was her age, since she is roughly 10 years my senior. And the fact she has a FUPA. What the fuck is a FUPA? It's known as the Fat Upper Pussy Area that most women develop as they get older and quit taking care of themselves. Us guys usually end up going bald and get a spare tire, but that goddamned FUPA takes the cake. Perhaps that's why so many women just give up and become blimps because once they get that FUPA, it's just downhill from there, and they percieve it to be more work to lose it than what it's worth to them. Who knows.
Anycase, just like I mentioned about older women previously, they have damage and Jan had the worst kind. Becoming the fuck-tool of men in her youth and now the object of affection by diesel-dyke lesbians in her waning years, she fathomed a deeper level of bitterness and resentment that I had never encountered before from a woman. Usually most women bitch about how much they hate men and then when some guy whispers dirty to them in their ear, he has their panties off in the blink of an eye and all is right in their world again for the time being. Not this beast. Oh hell no. Her resentment for all men, coupled with her OCD and Christian fundamentalist bullshit just made me steer clear of her the moment she showed me her demon claws over something I had done.
Long story short, she had decorated the door to her office at work with some ugly-ass newspaper prints that was supposed to resemble a giant Christmas gift. I saw a picture on one of the newsprint of a couple and thought it would be funny to draw a moustache and goatee on the female. Jeezus Fucking Christ, I thought she was going to have a fucking aneurysm - she went from zero to Bitch in 2.2 seconds.
"What the HELL are you doing? STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" she screamed at me like I was some 10 year old kid that was caught jerking off for the first time, or some housebroken dog that had just shit on the carpet.
I looked at her and started laughing. And continued, and continued, and continued. The entire time she was causing a scene, in front of the entire office. If it's one thing I know what to do in a sitch like this, it's make someone look like the bigger asshole instead of yourself. You save face and paint the other person out to being the bad guy, which is what exactly happened. From that one incident, I learned to avoid this fucking beast and most older women in general since they tend to share the same qualities - at least military women tend to. Then again, the majority of military women are trying to piss like a guy standing up. Go figure.
So, I'll stick to banging the stupid 20-something nymphomaniac hotties for the time being. Sure it sucks since I am at that stage where I really want to settle down with someone, but given the current choices, it looks like it just ain't gonna happen. We won't have any heart to heart discussions other than what sexual position we want to try that night and I don't want to deal with her whiny bullshit either, but the way I see it, the 20-somethings have less damage to deal with than the raging-cunt 40-somethings do.
And they don't have that goddamned FUPA to deal with either.
I usually avoid dating older women for the most part. They either have kids from some previous asshole, are fat, or are both fat and have kids from some previous asshole. It's very rare you'll find some middle ground where you meet an older woman that has neither. You'd think that having kids is living proof they love to fuck, but it's also living proof they're damaged goods since they tried going the distance, only they fell short of the mile. It's because of either reason I am reluctant to date someone in their 30's and 40's, and choose to stick to the dumber 20-something crowd. The last girl I was banging was a 20 year old nymphomaniac that just could never get enough - the only reason why she ended things with me was because I didn't trust the birth control patch she was using and wanted to switch to condoms instead. Call me paranoid, but outside having a regular piece of ass, I'm not looking to create any "Little Machines" if I can take that ounce of precaution.
Let's talk about Janet aka Jan. I met her when she first arrived in Korea late last year (2004) and thought to myself she might have what it takes to be the next Short Bus Mafia chick. Tall, red hair, blue eyes, the only thing that seemed to be going against her was her age, since she is roughly 10 years my senior. And the fact she has a FUPA. What the fuck is a FUPA? It's known as the Fat Upper Pussy Area that most women develop as they get older and quit taking care of themselves. Us guys usually end up going bald and get a spare tire, but that goddamned FUPA takes the cake. Perhaps that's why so many women just give up and become blimps because once they get that FUPA, it's just downhill from there, and they percieve it to be more work to lose it than what it's worth to them. Who knows.
Anycase, just like I mentioned about older women previously, they have damage and Jan had the worst kind. Becoming the fuck-tool of men in her youth and now the object of affection by diesel-dyke lesbians in her waning years, she fathomed a deeper level of bitterness and resentment that I had never encountered before from a woman. Usually most women bitch about how much they hate men and then when some guy whispers dirty to them in their ear, he has their panties off in the blink of an eye and all is right in their world again for the time being. Not this beast. Oh hell no. Her resentment for all men, coupled with her OCD and Christian fundamentalist bullshit just made me steer clear of her the moment she showed me her demon claws over something I had done.
Long story short, she had decorated the door to her office at work with some ugly-ass newspaper prints that was supposed to resemble a giant Christmas gift. I saw a picture on one of the newsprint of a couple and thought it would be funny to draw a moustache and goatee on the female. Jeezus Fucking Christ, I thought she was going to have a fucking aneurysm - she went from zero to Bitch in 2.2 seconds.
"What the HELL are you doing? STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" she screamed at me like I was some 10 year old kid that was caught jerking off for the first time, or some housebroken dog that had just shit on the carpet.
I looked at her and started laughing. And continued, and continued, and continued. The entire time she was causing a scene, in front of the entire office. If it's one thing I know what to do in a sitch like this, it's make someone look like the bigger asshole instead of yourself. You save face and paint the other person out to being the bad guy, which is what exactly happened. From that one incident, I learned to avoid this fucking beast and most older women in general since they tend to share the same qualities - at least military women tend to. Then again, the majority of military women are trying to piss like a guy standing up. Go figure.
So, I'll stick to banging the stupid 20-something nymphomaniac hotties for the time being. Sure it sucks since I am at that stage where I really want to settle down with someone, but given the current choices, it looks like it just ain't gonna happen. We won't have any heart to heart discussions other than what sexual position we want to try that night and I don't want to deal with her whiny bullshit either, but the way I see it, the 20-somethings have less damage to deal with than the raging-cunt 40-somethings do.
And they don't have that goddamned FUPA to deal with either.
posted by Machine at 9:55 PM
2 Comments:
Fabulous. I almost out of the stupid 20-something era. Heh......what about the 30-something gals with no kids? Whats wrong with us?
Yeah, I know.........I've got issues all around.
Believe me, the 30-Something hotties that aren't fat, don't have kids, and don't have that annoying FUPA are all right in my book. Believe me, if I could land one, I would!
Post a Comment
<< Home