Last Contact

Well today was the last day for me to see Melanie. I go on leave tomorrow and she leaves Kunsan next week while I am visiting Japan. All day she wondered why I was quiet and didn't feel like talking to her. Still pissed from being stood up the other night, I didn't feel like entertaining her much. Besides I had a shitload of things I had to get done. Like hell if I come back and everything is falling apart because I forgot to take care of some loose ends.

"You're awfully quiet today, Machine." she stated.

"That's because I'm listening to the new Nine Inch Nails CD. It kicks ass" I said back.

"No, you're quieter than normal."

"That's because I have alot of shit to do!"

"No, that's not it. You're upset that I'm leaving and you deal with it like this."

"This has nothing to do with the fact you're leaving - but if you really wanna know, I'm still pissed that you agreed to go see a movie with me the other night and broke a promise."

"Don't give me that!" she fired back at me. "You saw how busy I was! I didn't leave until 10pm that night."

"So you're going to tell me that you couldn't take a 2 hour break to do something I wanted to."

"No, I was too busy. Besides I didn't have a phone."

Okay. Now here come the bullshit excuses. Hold on. It gets good.

"You're going to tell me the library didn't have a phone you could use." I said calmly.

"Well I didn't think about that."

"Uh huh."

"Come on, I was stressed. Besides, you know how important schooling is to me."

"Apparently it's alot more important than your friends. I hoped the 'A' or the 'B' or whatever grade it is that you got serves you far better than I did."

"It's not like that. Besides you know how much I care about you."

"You CARE about me?" I insisted. "If that's the case, you sure have a funny way of showing it. Listen Melanie, I've been possibly the best friend you've ever had and you treated me like shit the entire year we were here together.

She was silent.

"I know. I'm sorry." she sheepishly admitted.

"SORRY? SORRY isn't good enough. Melanie, I was here the entire time you needed someone to talk to about your problems and all I asked for in return was some companionship. When I needed you to be there for me, YOU WEREN'T. I would ask you to go out and do things with me and you never did. Aside from going to Osan together last year and having the talk in Kunsan at that restaurant, you left me out in the cold."

"But what about the two times we went to A-Town?" she said defensively.

"Those were things YOU wanted to do, and I went along. But you never did anything I wanted to. You know, as much as you gave Vanessa grief for treating me like shit, you were no different than she was in alot of ways."

Vanessa was an old flame that popped into my life last year, out of the blue. She wanted to rekindle an old friendship with a more serious approach to it, but decided it was too much an inconvenience in the long run and cut me off without so much an explanation. Mind you, I never said anything horrible to Vanessa, but like Melanie, I treated Vanessa with the utmost care and attention that she wanted.

Upon hearing this, Melanie was shocked.

"So what can I do to make it to you then?"

A blowjob would be nice. But this isn't the time or the place to discuss something like this. Besides, who knows where her mouth has been. So I said nothing instead.

"Why don't you come out tomorrow with me for my going-away party?" she suggested.

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'?"

"I've already made plans to see my friend Brookie and her man up at Osan and party with them. They just got here Tuesday and I know her from Misawa. I really wanna see her again."

"They just got here, you can see them when you get back from leave. I leave Korea next week and you're convinced we'll never see eachother again."

"No. I've already made plans and I plan on sticking to them. I am a man of my word."

"You haven't always been like that."

"When I was younger, I wasn't. But I've learned from the mistakes of my youth."

"Are you serious about this? I'm really about to cry if you are."

"I'm being completely serious about this. For all the times that you've neglected me Melanie, you are finally reaping what you have sown. Had you invested more time in our friendship and had taken it a step further, then I would've gladly planned around your going-away. But you get what you give."

"That's not fair." she said, with a tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Well, it is what it is." I replied coldly and unapologetic. "Perhaps if you had spoken to me earlier this week about it, then maybe something could've been reached."

"The room I was staying in didn't have a phone."

Again, another bullshit excuse.

"So you're going to tell me you couldn't walk down the hallway in the dorm and use the hallway phone?"

By then she had gotten the point I wasn't going to budge. For all the pain and neglect she had returned to me for the patience, understanding, and affection I had shown her, she was still trying to pin guilt and blame on me, but I wasn't about to let her succeed.

"So this is how you're going to let things end between us?" she said to me, as a last-ditch effort.

"No. This is how --you've-- let things ended between us. You have reaped what you've sown." I concluded.

She finally got the point that she had fucked up royally and I wasn't about to just forgive and forget the 10 months of being ignored while she chased all these other swinging dicks and partied with her girlfriends and didn't even once think that perhaps she should include me. For all the movies we never saw together, for all the trips to Kunsan City and Osan we never ventured on, and for all the times I wanted to open up badly to her and share my life with her, but was denied repeatedly or chastised for even making the attempt, she expected me to just brush it all off like it was just nothing.

For the rest of the day I ignored her and tortured her by remaining silent. At one point she actually broke down and said "You can't ignore me like this! It's just not fair!"

I gave her a shit-eating grin.

The last contact I had with her as I left to go home was looking at her, raising my eyebrows as to imply something devilish, and walking out the door. She hasn't made the attempt to talk to me or anything like that, but I wouldn't be surprised if later on tonight or tomorrow before I get on the bus to go to Osan, I see the golden baboon one last time, as a means of her trying to reconcile this rift between us. Knowing her, she has to have closure in her life. Always closure.

Yeah it sucks being a total prick but she had her chance all along, but she blew it. If you let someone walk over you once, they will do it a hundred times and I'm not about to throw away what little bit of dignity and self-respect the military hasn't stripped away from me on an ingrate and psychic vampire. LaVey was right.

I look forward to seeing Brookie again in over a year's time tomorrow and know I will enjoy my time up there with her and the company of friends. Whether I stay for one evening or the entire weekend is fine either way since I'll be spending time with people I know will appreciate my company.


That's more than I could say about Melanie.