Date the Machine
Well, I've had some other friends do this so I figure I might as well succumb to peer pressure as well and make a listing of my own. I don't know if this has worked for Brookie or The Bunny but I figure it's good for at least a few shits n' grins. And please. If you or some chick you know fits into these categories, then send them my way. Also make sure to include a picture - one with clothing, and one without preferrably.
Do you have what it takes to date The Machine?
Must haves:
-A kick-ass, non-judgmental personality
-Decent looks
-A wry sense of humor
-Have less tattoos than me (I have 4 right now, about to add some more)
-A love for music and the arts
-Enjoy video games and other forms of entertainment
-Exhibit style and good hygiene on a continual basis
-Intelligence and the ability to apply it properly
-Sex drive of a porn star and not afraid to use it with me
-High level of tolerance for my jokes and overall retardedness
I will avoid you like the plague if you have the following traits/or character flaws:
-Whiny bitchy girlfriends
-Friends that are in the "Beautiful People" crowd
-Are yourself, one of the "Beautiful People"
-Jesus-Freak Assholes
-Angry, Femin-nazi types
-Politically-Correct fuck-tards
-Cry-baby liberals
-Fly girls/wigger chicks
-Trekkies and the like (i.e. Harry Potter dweebs, Anime dorks, etc)
-Have more Emotional Baggage than me (and that's alot)
-High Maintenance types (I hate competition)
-A goddamned FUPA
Most importantly know how to behave in public and not get on my fucking nerves
Now obviously this is just a dream sheet of what I would like to see in a woman. Unless some cybernetic corporation starts mass production of an Electric Barbarella sex-droid that I can take home and use instead, chances are I will have to ultimately compromise on some of these, if not all of these things. Except for the Jesus-Freak Asshole types. They never change.
If you're willing to date a royal pain in the ass, send me an e-mail with the title "Date The Machine" as its topic, otherwise I will think it's spam and delete it. Make sure to explain why you think we should date and what you can bring to the table. And don't forget the pix.
shortbusmafia@yahoo.com
Do you have what it takes to date The Machine?
Must haves:
-A kick-ass, non-judgmental personality
-Decent looks
-A wry sense of humor
-Have less tattoos than me (I have 4 right now, about to add some more)
-A love for music and the arts
-Enjoy video games and other forms of entertainment
-Exhibit style and good hygiene on a continual basis
-Intelligence and the ability to apply it properly
-Sex drive of a porn star and not afraid to use it with me
-High level of tolerance for my jokes and overall retardedness
I will avoid you like the plague if you have the following traits/or character flaws:
-Whiny bitchy girlfriends
-Friends that are in the "Beautiful People" crowd
-Are yourself, one of the "Beautiful People"
-Jesus-Freak Assholes
-Angry, Femin-nazi types
-Politically-Correct fuck-tards
-Cry-baby liberals
-Fly girls/wigger chicks
-Trekkies and the like (i.e. Harry Potter dweebs, Anime dorks, etc)
-Have more Emotional Baggage than me (and that's alot)
-High Maintenance types (I hate competition)
-A goddamned FUPA
Most importantly know how to behave in public and not get on my fucking nerves
Now obviously this is just a dream sheet of what I would like to see in a woman. Unless some cybernetic corporation starts mass production of an Electric Barbarella sex-droid that I can take home and use instead, chances are I will have to ultimately compromise on some of these, if not all of these things. Except for the Jesus-Freak Asshole types. They never change.
If you're willing to date a royal pain in the ass, send me an e-mail with the title "Date The Machine" as its topic, otherwise I will think it's spam and delete it. Make sure to explain why you think we should date and what you can bring to the table. And don't forget the pix.
shortbusmafia@yahoo.com
posted by Machine at 12:22 AM
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