Youngsan Arrival

So I finally made it up to Youngsan. This place rocks! It's a 4-star quality hotel that the Army runs for all DoD personnel. It's not as fun as the New Sanno hotel in Tokyo, but then again I am partial to Japan, unlike Korea. The bus ride up to Osan was like taking the fucking ghetto bus outta some place like Detroit or Harlem - a handful of blacks were sitting in the very back, talking so loud and cursing the entire way up, using the "N" word and being an all-around nuisance. They became so offensive that the other blacks on the bus told them to shut the fuck up for the rest of the trip, which they finally did. Some people just reinforce the stereo-type they live.

Alot was on my mind while traveling up here. Once again, Melanie changed her outlook on the relationship we share. I think Melanie is staring to finally realize that we will no longer see one another. She leaves 13 May but I go on vacation starting 7 May. My goal is to catch a hop to Japan outta Osan, so ideally next week is the last we will see of one another.

"You don't appreciate a good thing until it's gone" she told me, and wanted me to spend the last hour and a half at work just talking about life. Sure, why not. All day had been slow and she heard a few more things from me that finally registered this time. The main topic is how she throws herself at all these assholes and yet someone like me that she relates to, she shoves away because it frightens her. I told her that I had waited patiently for her all this time to become a better friend to me, yet she denied me something that would've taken the edge off this place.

Companionship.

"Melanie, had you taken the time to become more involved in my life, I'm certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that we would compliment one another very well" I said in return. It then struck her how horrible she has been to me this entire time, and how there is nothing she can do to take back the pain and damage she has caused. "I waited patiently for you all this time, and even made suggestions. Subtle hints. I would ask you to go out with me or go do something and you would always say 'no', yet every time you would come to me crying about how some guy did you wrong, I always listened to what you had to say and helped you through the pain."

"I have been a really horrible friend, haven't I?" she concluded. For once I actually saw her in a moment of true regret for her actions and the consequences they brought.

"Well maybe when you leave Korea in July, you can fly through Seattle and then we can meet up" she suggested.

Too late. My travel itinerary has already been submitted and I made plans months ago to return to Japan one last time when I left Korea for good. Had Melanie not been so selfish and blind then she would've realized what an important event this could've been also. But oh well.

She finally agreed with me on something I told her when I first arrived back in July - that I was sent here to help her weather this difficult time in her life. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" I said to her initially, and now she sees how it all makes sense. "You've been a very good teacher" she replied. "Thanks. I've tried."

I've taught her the importance of not being judgmental with other people and the things they do, as well as the importance of not getting worked up all the time when things don't go your way. Sure, life sucks at times, but why focus on it continually? Instead, why not take the bad experience and turn it around to make you a better person? Sure that's easier said than done, but in the long run you help yourself and can help other people with their problems too. Things like this.

Most of all, I never bashed her or got upset when she would talk shit about men in general. I would just let her get it out of her system and then tell her how ignorant she sounded. I would never get angry, never argue back, or tell her how stupid she was for being boy crazy. I listened.

She's convinced our paths will cross again some day. I just don't see how that will happen. Unless she changes her mind at the last second and lets me hit it finally, I have no reason to go out of my way and go visit her. But most of all I think she realizes there's so much more that needs to be taught and she's losing possibly the best friend she's ever had.

It's a BitterSweet Symphony, that's Life.