Oh yeah....THAT Asshole!
Well gang, I am in the final days of my time here in Korea. I will depart the base this Friday once and for all and will fly out to Tokyo for a week of R & R before returning Stateside. The fact I am finally leaving this place is music to my ears.
One thing I've been reflecting on between the times I've been here is how there is always that ONE person who always sticks out, usually unintentionally, that for whatever reason just can't blend in with everyone else. Now normally I am all for individuality, however in a place like this, people are expected to conform, no if's, and's, or but's about it. The moment you appear to be different is the moment everyone talks shit about you and senior leadership puts you on their problem child list. Fuck that.
I started a thread like this on Chair-Force, and it recieved some noteworthy attention for a little bit, but once again I am reminded of how one or two people really stand out and ask for humiliation. These guys are people who conform for the most part, but there's just something ODD with them. I mean shit you wouldn't see most other people do, yet by all accounts they're "normal". While the majority of people see them, they're often quickly forgotten about until brought up in conversation like
"Hey did you see that fuck-tard the other day with the nut-hugger shorts and knee-high socks? He looked fucking ridiculous!"
"Huh? Oh yeah - THAT asshole! I've seen that guy too and I have to wonder what the fuck is up with the purple head band too."
When I was here in 2001, there was some Jesus-Freak running around base riding a razor scooter. Razor Scooter asshole. This dude would wear this dorky silver helmet and his little shirts spreading the gospel according to whatever it was he was into and he looked like some cartoon character. Some days he would even wear a neon safety vest so NASA satellites could see him from outer space. I mean, Jeezus Fucking Christ people - come on! I suppose a 33 year old man in denial about his wasted youth would try convincing himself he has at least one last drop of adolescence left in him before he has to face reality and middle age, and since titty bars and sports cars were out of the question, this was the only way he could compensate. According to the Gospel of Machine 3:16 - "Thou art a dumb-ass".
Now I just recently saw some asshole on base who rides a unicycle. Unicycle asshole. I mean what kinda dude rides one of those fucking things? Clowns in a circus might, but chances are they're corn-holing the chimps back stage when nobody is looking since no woman in her right mind would admit to fucking one of these losers. Even Razor Scooter asshole has more cool points than this guy going for him, and that ain't much. I wonder how long it's going to be before this dude gets his ass kicked by some of the shit-kickers on base? Chances are he knows Razor scooter asshole in some way shape or fashion.
When I was at Misawa, there was this Navy guy I always saw running around base wearing a trench coat. He looked like one of those creepy kinda guys that would tell children he needed help finding his lost puppy or something, this guy was that weird looking. Trench coat asshole. It didn't matter what season it was, this dude ALWAYS had a goddamned trenchcoat on, and one time even wore a parka OVER his trenchcoat so he wouldn't freeze. I guess the fucker was too cheap to buy a car. I always saw this dude out walking EVERYWHERE, even with 3 feet of snow on the ground. It was nearly impossible to miss him. The crowning achievement to this guy was the fact he wore running shoes with his Docker pants, collared shirt, and tie, and he always had this weird fucked up bowl haircut too. I even witnessed him getting it trimmed one day at the barber shop and thought to myself this guy pays people to make him look that horrible. I mean even comic book nerds and Star Trek geeks would bust on this guy, he was that geeky.
Can it be true that there are just some people out there with no self-consciousness as to how they appear in public? Not your angst-ridden skater kids or wanna-be thugs, but everyday people that just seem too weird to be normal, yet too normal to be weird.
But the BIGGEST ASSHOLE I've seen anywhere to date definitely needs to get a life. Someone should give this fucker a clue.
One thing I've been reflecting on between the times I've been here is how there is always that ONE person who always sticks out, usually unintentionally, that for whatever reason just can't blend in with everyone else. Now normally I am all for individuality, however in a place like this, people are expected to conform, no if's, and's, or but's about it. The moment you appear to be different is the moment everyone talks shit about you and senior leadership puts you on their problem child list. Fuck that.
I started a thread like this on Chair-Force, and it recieved some noteworthy attention for a little bit, but once again I am reminded of how one or two people really stand out and ask for humiliation. These guys are people who conform for the most part, but there's just something ODD with them. I mean shit you wouldn't see most other people do, yet by all accounts they're "normal". While the majority of people see them, they're often quickly forgotten about until brought up in conversation like
"Hey did you see that fuck-tard the other day with the nut-hugger shorts and knee-high socks? He looked fucking ridiculous!"
"Huh? Oh yeah - THAT asshole! I've seen that guy too and I have to wonder what the fuck is up with the purple head band too."
When I was here in 2001, there was some Jesus-Freak running around base riding a razor scooter. Razor Scooter asshole. This dude would wear this dorky silver helmet and his little shirts spreading the gospel according to whatever it was he was into and he looked like some cartoon character. Some days he would even wear a neon safety vest so NASA satellites could see him from outer space. I mean, Jeezus Fucking Christ people - come on! I suppose a 33 year old man in denial about his wasted youth would try convincing himself he has at least one last drop of adolescence left in him before he has to face reality and middle age, and since titty bars and sports cars were out of the question, this was the only way he could compensate. According to the Gospel of Machine 3:16 - "Thou art a dumb-ass".
Now I just recently saw some asshole on base who rides a unicycle. Unicycle asshole. I mean what kinda dude rides one of those fucking things? Clowns in a circus might, but chances are they're corn-holing the chimps back stage when nobody is looking since no woman in her right mind would admit to fucking one of these losers. Even Razor Scooter asshole has more cool points than this guy going for him, and that ain't much. I wonder how long it's going to be before this dude gets his ass kicked by some of the shit-kickers on base? Chances are he knows Razor scooter asshole in some way shape or fashion.
When I was at Misawa, there was this Navy guy I always saw running around base wearing a trench coat. He looked like one of those creepy kinda guys that would tell children he needed help finding his lost puppy or something, this guy was that weird looking. Trench coat asshole. It didn't matter what season it was, this dude ALWAYS had a goddamned trenchcoat on, and one time even wore a parka OVER his trenchcoat so he wouldn't freeze. I guess the fucker was too cheap to buy a car. I always saw this dude out walking EVERYWHERE, even with 3 feet of snow on the ground. It was nearly impossible to miss him. The crowning achievement to this guy was the fact he wore running shoes with his Docker pants, collared shirt, and tie, and he always had this weird fucked up bowl haircut too. I even witnessed him getting it trimmed one day at the barber shop and thought to myself this guy pays people to make him look that horrible. I mean even comic book nerds and Star Trek geeks would bust on this guy, he was that geeky.
Can it be true that there are just some people out there with no self-consciousness as to how they appear in public? Not your angst-ridden skater kids or wanna-be thugs, but everyday people that just seem too weird to be normal, yet too normal to be weird.
But the BIGGEST ASSHOLE I've seen anywhere to date definitely needs to get a life. Someone should give this fucker a clue.
posted by Machine at 6:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home