Farewell Party

So, like I was saying, they had my farwell party the other night. I was impressed with the small group that turned up. Usually people avoid me or tolerate me as long as what's necessary and then once I am out of earshot, vent about how insufferable I am. Yeah, whatever. But the fact these guys turned up really fucking impressed me. Holy shit!

I was disappointed that FUPA Jan didn't show up and even invited her the day before and reminded her earlier but she came up with some bullshit excuse not to attend. I even told her as much as I give her grief about being OCD, I really enjoy her company and it would mean alot for her to tag along, but she stuck to her original plans. While I can be a royal pain in the ass, if you're my friend I will go to the ends of the earth for you since you put up with my snide remarks and jack-ass somantics on a continual basis, and that's the trade off for considering me as a friend. While it's very unconventional, I've made more friends for life in the long run than alot of "ordinary" people I know.



We ended going out to some Korean BBQ that one of our co-workers knows about. Mr Kim is his name. Now one thing alot of Americans don't understand is that there are essentially 3 common last names in Korea - Kim, Pak and Choe (pronounced "chay") just as Smith, Jones, and Garcia are common in the US. How they keep track of lineage I have no idea but these fuckers are all related to one another in some shape or form. Go figure.

This place was really nice too. I mean it didn't look ghetto or anything. I was glad to give them our service since the last thing I want to do is to go to some shit hole Korean BBQ that serves up hella nasty shit like eel testicles or octopus balls as their main menu - or worse - Ke-gogi(dog meat) and the main dish is still outside barking its head off. While Mr Kim has never steered us wrong, I am secretly waiting for the day his nerves snap and he ends up going kung-fu on all the Americans he works with. The poor guy has had to deal with alot of spoiled, fucked-up military brats in order to make a living, and by brats I mean 20-something Airmen that get on your fucking nerves with their every waking moment. How he has the patience of a saint is anybody's guess but the only reason I tolerate my co-workers is because I can go back to prison if I bitch-slap any of them, and I don't want that.



The food was great. I mean it. It was some really good stuff. The serving lady brought out the meat pre-cut and all we had to do was cook it up on the burners in front of us. Korean BBQ aka Beef on a Leaf consists of either pork or beef being cooked and then wrapped in a lettuce leaf with anything else you want to throw in there, before popping it in your mouth. Usually you dip the meat once it's cooked into some BBQ sauce and can include (but I don't recommend) garlic cloves or bean sprouts. Since I don't like some of the more "exotic" cuisine (who the fuck calls this shit 'exotic'?) I stick to the beef and the leaf. It's that simple.



We toasted a shot of wine. Chris kept buying bottles of this stuff all night, and continued offering me one shot after another. It was pretty damn good stuff too. Chris and Lucate all decided there should be a toast in my honor, and to have me charge it. Sure thing, why not? "Here's to good times, everybody!" I proclaimed as I held the shot aloft. It went down so smooth too. Too bad I didn't catch the name of what it was.



Chris is a dude who works with FUPA Jan and is an avid anime nerd. I tease him continually about his affection for stupid shit like Gundam and Final Fantasy crap, only because I was a huge anime nerd myself 10 years ago and can still remember what it was like to be obsessed with the shit. If you've ever seen Macross Plus (I recommend the original Macross series for starters) or Akira, then you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Courtney decided to elaborate and tell EVERYONE all the fucked up shit I've done since she's known me here, but yet completely unbeknownst to them! Everything from my run in with FFH and all the shit I did to them, to the "Stalker of the Month" photo I did as a joke and the Pizza Dude photo I did, EVERYTHING came out. A few people were like "Holy shit! We've had a MONSTER beneath our noses this entire time", while everybody else was like "Ha ha, that's the Machine we know and love". I seriously thought the few people that were going ape-shit were going to throw me through the window! Shit, Courtney!



We all then went out for Ice Cream afterwards and I got some grape juice instead. I don't like ice cream because I think it's childish and I've outgrown the stuff a long time ago. Yes, I know - this coming from a man who revels in acting like someone half his age. But I had sleep apnea surgery over a year ago and the only thing I could stomach was ice cream for the first few days during recovery. If I have a valid reason to NEVER eat the stuff again, so help me, it's from that awful fucking surgery that worked like a charm. And who says military medicine doesn't work?

Anycase, the grape juice shown here is fucking awesome because it has actual chopped grape inside the can! When served chilled, this stuff is too awesome. I made certain to pick up 2 cans since I knew I would want one again later on this week. Good stuff, what can I say?

We met some old Korean dude that actually liked Americans. He was standing outside the grocery store when we arrived and he was going on and on in Kor-engrish how much he loved America and how wonderful Americans were for saving them from Communism and how glad he was we went in and kicked Iraq's ass just not too long ago. Now one thing alot of you pansy fuckers out there fail to realize is that there are people still alive today that have had EVERYTHING taken away from them in the name of Communism and how you assholes can wear a fucking Che Guevara t-shirt and think it's so trendy is completely beyond me. These are usually the same idealistic college kids that listen to Violent Femmes and Sublime and think they're so hip because they're being "political" despite not truly comprehending the first thing they're really fighting for. It's the same college kids here in Seoul too that have no fucking clue what it is their grandparents went through back in the 1950's as Kim Il-Sung and the Red Army came rolling over the 38th Parallel and damn near took this entire nation without so much breaking a sweat, yet they protest America's presence here even though they would all be spouting Communist doctrine if it weren't for the sacrifices we made and their grandparents made right along side. This dude was truly thankful yet the younger generations would rather spit on people like him for showing his appreciation.

We ended up shortly leaving after everyone had purchased what it is they wanted, and headed back home. I really wanted to fuck Courtney bad that night but she wasn't receptive to my advances and instead wanted to go do Karaoke instead with her work buddies. Getting shot down for alcohol-induced singing. Now even that's a first for me.

All in all it was a pretty good Farewell dinner. Chances are this will be the last time I eat Beef on a Leaf ever again since I have no desire to return to this country whatsoever, and won't visit a Korean BBQ place in the States since I hear they're fucking retarded expensive like that. If my luck holds, this WILL be my last time here and I will never have to live the life of a prison inmate again.



Look, I even got the shirt with the date of my release finally!