Monday, June 27, 2005

Hollywood: RIP

I recieved this in an e-mail today from my friend Dan/Dee Minus and this pretty much sums up my philosophy regarding the entertainment industry. It's taken from the Liquid Generation website, and seeing how I touched just briefly on the very thing last night when discussing Rasputina, I saw it fitting to mention as a piggy-back to the previous discussion. Alot of bands could definitely benefit from the demise of the RIAA.



-- Helga, LiquidGeneration’s only CTO

Dear Celebrities, Entertainment Executives and Honorary Wannabes,

I am Helga The Help, LiquidGeneration’s single white transsexual, and may you rest in peace.

The age of Hollywood and the Recording Industry, as we know it, has passed. You were all good business people and I respect that but you’re just collateral damage. Give up. Go home. You may be an elephant but you’re fighting an army of African Fire Ants.

The Information Age, like the various ages before it, has ushered in a new climate. Except instead of ice, we’re now awash in hotspots. I can walk into a coffee shop, order my 8-shot, non-fat goat milk latte, connect to my file-sharing program, and start watching a movie that someone else paid for. Or that may have released yesterday...or is being released next month. You get the point.

Ever wonder how the entertainment industry finances their astronomical production budgets, $20M actor/singer paychecks, and the 1000 $/plate catering fees? They don’t. You do. That $9 for a movie ticket, $16 for a CD, $24 for a DVD (I live in Chicago aiiight??? That’s what things cost) adds up damn fast when spread over a population of millions. The RIAA and the Studios are frequently likened to a cartel that artificially inflates prices and prevents competition. Go to any restaurant and ask your waiter what it’s like getting an independent movie/CD released. Kind of like an ass-mugging that’s what.

People in power want only one thing: to stay in power. Or did you really think that government officials retire to "spend more time with family?" No one is going to give up riches so that can you can weasel out of popping 16 bucks for a CD. According to the RIAA, piracy losses total 4.2 billion US dollars per year, enough to pay for at least 50 Hollywood dinners and 100 sessions with J.Lo’s stylist. Who would walk away from that?

But they don’t have a choice. The same reason they got where they were is what’s gnawing away at them like some vermin. Just don’t feel bad for them. The entertainment industry has evolved into this hydra because of a lack of technology. The barriers to creating and distributing recorded works were so huge that artists had to make gigantic investments in capital equipment and retail channels to get their entertainment products to customers. Now the same technology has lowered said barriers to the price of a computer, some software and an Internet connection. The enabler has become the destroyer.

The first casualty of this paradigm shift will be the celebrity as we know him/her. Real artists produce because they have to. Their demons speak to them through their substance-induced trances and creation results. If their talent merits a sufficient popular interest then they will earn backers and investments and a healthy paycheck for themselves. It will operate like any other business.

The second will be the greatest fleecing in the history of the world (after the Manhattan Purchase) where the recording studios "bundle" 10 or 12 products that you don’t want with 1 or 2 that you might. I pick through my grapes at the grocery store; why should I be forced to buy 10 songs that I don’t ever want to hear?

There will be many more. In short, if you want to make money as a performer or entertainer you will need to perform and entertain. Not work for a few days every couple of years and then retire to your ranch complete with children’s harem. This is a job and you will need to treat it like one. The same reduction in the barriers to entry will not create any more talent, it will just create more noise and the louder the dogs are barking, the better the swan needs to be singing. Ah...yes folks, natural selection at work. Even though as I look at the current crop of "celebrities" I begin to think that you idiots are more attracted to the lifestyle than you are to the talent. Exhibit A: Paris Hilton.

Love,

Helga
Internet Guru/Hollywood Consultant

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