Logan

Lemme tell yah about my friend LOGAN. I know Logan from my time in Japan and him and I are very similar alike. We both have an interest in music and video games, we both have the same outlook on religion and life in general but the only difference is that he's black and I'm not. Aside from that insignificant detail we're best of friends. Anycase we've been hanging out so far this week and today he wanted to get his very own SLAYER t-shirt. He was jealous of the cool shit I picked up the other day and wanted to freak people out his own way. After all a black dude wearing something heavily Satanic is unheard of in hip-hop circles. It reminded me the other day how we were at THE ALAMO just tooling around when we saw not one, but TWO manic street preachers within 30 minutes of eachother screaming Jesus at the top of their lungs to the public. Why and how the San Antonio police don't do anything about these assholes I don't know but I suppose it's supposed to be amusement for the tourists, just like the Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum right across the street. Anycase these dudes were laying it on pretty thick when all of a sudden I got the bright idea for me and him to dress up and egg this guy on. I could dress up as a stereotypical cartoony devil, with a little cape and horns and a plastic pitchfork and a cheesy curly moustache drawn on my lip and prance around like that NORMAL BOB SMITH dude. Logan since he's black, could dress up like Jesus in some robes and wear a fake beard, and can use a fake slave dialect (which he does not have at all). Not only would this get these thumpers all riled up, but every Christian Conservative Republican Texan (read: EVERYONE) pissed beyond belief since the concept of a black Jesus is something most people are not able to accept, let alone still comprehend. Perhaps hispanic, but not black. America just isn't ready for that kind of forward thinking just yet. Anycase I figure him and I could act out our own little scenario while this dude is busy throwing fire and brimstone at the passersby, and just be an overall ass. I could pretend to stab him with my pitchfork and say "Yay evil! I rule!" or tempt him with Little Debbie Devil's Food cakes the way the real Jesus shoulda been tempted while running around in the desert. Fuck turning stones into bread. I ran this idea past Logan and he laughed his fucking ass off. Thought it was the best thing he'd heard of in a long time. The problem is knowing us we'd get our asses kicked by all the locals, providing the cops didn't get their hands on us first, and even then it would most likely be a nightstick up the butt repeatedly before being dropped off in some sleazy Messican flophouse. Then we'd all meet the REAL MEXICAN JESUS and HIS DISCIPLES - HIS GANG OF VATOS where we'd all end up becoming their prison bitches and getting their names tattooed on our asses. We both agreed it's wiser just leave the Texans alone before anything really bad happens!