An open letter to Lufthansa Airlines
Dear Lufthansa Airlines,
You don't know me as I am for the most part an insignificant person and enjoy keeping things that way. I must confess however on days like yesterday when I used your airlines, I wanted to be a CEO or someone of equal importance, so I could fix the fucked-up processes your companies use.
What kind of horse shit idea is it to only have ONE CHECK IN COUNTER with a shit load of people having to serpentine around the corner? Have you ever considered using MULTIPLE AISLES the same way most FAST FOOD restaurants conduct business with? But wait - you're German and if it's one thing the Germans are renowned for, it's EFFICIENCY.
And what is up with the terminals? They're poorly designed to where you have to fucking use a magnifying glass to see which airline is located at which kiosk. Instead of having friendly, easy to read signs in the States and most other countries, you have to GUESS as to where your airplane is departing from, and even then trying to find the right ticket counter. Nevermind the fact the signs aren't clearly posted as you're driving in either.
The movies were shitty and your concept of seating arrangment completely sucks. Who the fuck honestly sits 3 big dudes all together and an aisle of kids unsupervised? If this is the 'conceptual engineering' which Sascha K of KMFDM prides Germans having, it's no wonder you lost the war to a bunch of ignorant, uncultured Americans. It's no wonder more people want to immigrate to the US than any other country in the world.
Rest assured, I, THE MACHINE will never fly with your company ever again if I can avoid doing so. The only positive thing from the whole experience is that your flight attendants are pretty hot, and they were all female for a change.
Warmest regards,
THE MACHINE
You don't know me as I am for the most part an insignificant person and enjoy keeping things that way. I must confess however on days like yesterday when I used your airlines, I wanted to be a CEO or someone of equal importance, so I could fix the fucked-up processes your companies use.
What kind of horse shit idea is it to only have ONE CHECK IN COUNTER with a shit load of people having to serpentine around the corner? Have you ever considered using MULTIPLE AISLES the same way most FAST FOOD restaurants conduct business with? But wait - you're German and if it's one thing the Germans are renowned for, it's EFFICIENCY.
And what is up with the terminals? They're poorly designed to where you have to fucking use a magnifying glass to see which airline is located at which kiosk. Instead of having friendly, easy to read signs in the States and most other countries, you have to GUESS as to where your airplane is departing from, and even then trying to find the right ticket counter. Nevermind the fact the signs aren't clearly posted as you're driving in either.
The movies were shitty and your concept of seating arrangment completely sucks. Who the fuck honestly sits 3 big dudes all together and an aisle of kids unsupervised? If this is the 'conceptual engineering' which Sascha K of KMFDM prides Germans having, it's no wonder you lost the war to a bunch of ignorant, uncultured Americans. It's no wonder more people want to immigrate to the US than any other country in the world.
Rest assured, I, THE MACHINE will never fly with your company ever again if I can avoid doing so. The only positive thing from the whole experience is that your flight attendants are pretty hot, and they were all female for a change.
Warmest regards,
THE MACHINE
posted by Machine at 3:04 AM
1 Comments:
were you at least able to convince one of the flight attendants to join the mile high club with you???
that could have made the lines at the airport more bearable:)
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