And Speaking of Dicks...

Turns out my supervisor pulls me aside today to let me know there is a "rumor" flying around about me. Miss Stephanie, as I will refer to her as, is a strong black woman with a very beautiful face and a radiant personality - she is in my opinion what every black woman should be like - strong but gentle with an overall charismatic approach to people. She's awesome. Anycase, Miss Stephanie pulls me aside and says that she's heard THAT I HAVE A BIG DICK. I shit you not. "Who the fuck is going around and telling people this?" I inquire. She starts laughing and tells me that she doesn't know who started it but she heard through friends that I've got an enormous cock. What the fuck. Ladies listen - I haven't fucked any of the bitches in my work as of yet. None of them have seen my junk, nor have they touched it or groped it or felt it or whatever. I call bullshit on her, saying she's the one making it up, while Miss Stephanie continues to tell me that she views me like a brother. She says she swears up and down she's not making it up, but won't tell me who she heard it from. Really kids - this shit is juvenile. Childish. If you're going to spread rumors like this, then 1. Tell me who it is, and 2. Come prove that rumor either true or false. I asked Dawn the Tubby Penguin if she started this shit since her mind is always in the gutter (whereas mine is only in the toilet) and after she finished laughing, denied its knowledge. She figures it was one of her slutty friends who she's been trying to hook me up with, only her slutty friend denies spreading such information too. (Rest assured, I'm chatting up slutty friend as well to see where it leads. Her earned name is "Manwich".) Heh. So. I'm known as the guy with the big dick now. Funny. It ain't tiny that's for certain.