The Six Inch Mexican

There's this one chick here in San Antonio named MARISSA who is Mexican-Canadian mix. She's kinda hot for a chick who is 6 months pregnant and is hella cool to joke around with. Turns out she knows PRINCESS DUMBASS and has the same level of dislike for her as I do. We shared a few stories about her and got a really good laugh. Anycase, when she told me how she's Mex-Can mix, she made the joke how she's coming over both borders into the US - and I just started laughing. I then told her how when I was really fat, people would mistake me for being partially Hispanic (their words not mine) although I didn't see how they could. Eh whatever. People see shit they wanna see and that's the only explanation I can offer. Hearing this she laughed as well and thought it was complete horseshit, and shared with me a story about her supervisor. Her supervisor is as white-bread as they come and made a joke to her about him and some Mexican broad he banged, and how that's the only part of him that's been considered "hispanic". She joked how the only way I could be mistaken is if I were to do the same thing, and in return jokingly said it's nothing more than just my pinky finger. I definitely didn't want to pursue that one any further than that! Well today we're walking down the hallway and she brings up the whole 'Mexican' thing again, just outta the blue, and in training as I'm talking to Logan, she says "Oh hey - THE MEXICAN is talking" to which I replied "You mean THE SIX INCH MEXICAN" and started laughing. Some people looked at me kinda weird like "what the hell was that all about" and this one fat dork whose wife has him more pussy-whipped than any other man I've witnessed, turns around and gives me this dirty look like I fucking stepped on his dog or something - the same guy who goes out every night to titty bars. All throughout the course some black dude is looking at me from across the room, shaking his head in disapproval. I just smiled back. Heh - yah know it's funny how people interpret shit when they hear it, and if someone makes an issue out of our little "inside joke" (get it?) then I'll tell them to politely mind their own business and to get their mind out of the gutter. If some asshole really wants to push the issue, I'll just say "The six inches I'm referring to is my HEART since that's the 6 inches that matters the most". I figure people are referred to as being "half pint" in some parts of the country, and unless for some reason I decide to become a complete dumb-ass and say "OH YEAH SHE MEANS MY DICK" or along those measures then I get what I deserve for being a dumb-ass. The military is always weird like that. Anycase kids, I'm off to FART WORTH to visit some relatives and will leave in a little bit. Maybe I can put Marissa's theory to the test and have a story for her Monday.