Perhaps

I think I might know who has been spreading the word around that I have a big dick. I was talking to Zhombie last night, giving him shit about being pathetic with his women (total pot calling the kettle black I know), when I remembered there's some psycho chick who knows me from Misawa - her name is Tricia. Turns out Tricia is a fucking stalker of sorts - I might have mentioned her here previously - I'd have to go back and check - but she knows all sortsa shit about me that I've never told her. It happened about a month and a half ago when I was doing some bullshit volunteer work for some function they had here on base - she makes direct eye contact with me, tells me my first and last name and what not which makes me take a fucking quick-turn exit away from her. It's also the same night I met Tiffanie who was being very flirtatious despite our just meeting. Anycase, this Tricia chick ain't half-bad looking, only she's married to some asshole who works OSI. I remember the guy from one of my college classes since he sat next to me, but didn't put two and two together until I saw them both one day at the food court and then that's when I remembered her. What I'm thinking is that since I was banging the hell outta some chick named Debbie at the time, word of mouth traveled. I know you bitches love to brag about dick size and what not to your girlfriends, but I just keep it at "I'm big enough". I don't brag about what I've got and would appreciate the same. It's not like I'm bragging to Zhombie or to coworkers how I make some chick orgasm 5 times in one night when I eat her out. Please. Let's show some decency people! Debbie was some smelly wanna-be goth/pagan chick who broke up with me because I didn't trust the birth control patch she was using (not her) and wanted to switch to condoms. She gets pissed, breaks up with me (really fucking stupid shit I know), and 3 weeks later she comes back to me, saying HOW SHE MISSES 'IT'. What? The relationship? NO. 'IT'. Yes. That collapsable flap of skin. The extra appendage. My third fucking arm. Whatever the hell you wanna call it. Jeezus Fucking Christ people. I was insulted then, and I'm insulted now. Why? Because I'm not getting any now for one thing, but because any hopes of having a real relationship with a woman gets nixed the moment I fuck them. Then it's all about sex. The way I see it, Deb blabbed to all her girlfriends about my "talent" and word got to Tricia, who was stalking me then like a fucking puma. She finds out I'm here, gets all panties-drenched and shit remembering what she heard about me from Japan, and starts rumors and shit as to my endowments. I figure I'll find out whether or not she's the one who started the shit - next time I see her I'll ask her if she knew Deb when she was in Japan. If she says "yes" or knew someone from her circle of friends, then I will have my answer. And then I will want to know WHY it is she's telling people this shit if none of these hotties are gonna let me hit it. At least lemme brush the dust off or something. Heh.