...And you are known by the company you keep
I spent a better part of the afternoon talking to Brookie via IM. Brookie is definitely one kick-ass chick and I can hardly wait for her to get to Korea so we can party. Seriously. We talked about alot of stuff that will be held in the utmost confidence, rest assured. I will say that it's a shame we won't be able to spend more time when she gets here since I will have one foot out the door. Still, I will make the most of good times with good friends.
Talking with her today reminded me of my time at Misawa and someone I used to hang out with. Used to is to be paid attention to. His name was Matt and I knew the dude for about 5 or 6 months.
Matt aka "Wolfe" was a cool guy to party with but he was a pathological liar and always looking to scam out of things. At first I didn't pay much attention to the bullshit he would talk about since it's common for dudes to exaggerate about all sorts of shit. Hell, I do it here on this blog solely for Entertainment Purposes, but for him it was a way of life.
At first I wouldn't pay him any mind to the stories he would make up, but then slowly but surely I would hear the same lines repeated to different people, with each time becoming more and more embellished. I can understand raising the bullshit quotient slightly on something but hearing how he went from working as an Intel weenie to outright lying by saying he helped do covert missions with the Joint Narcotics Division was just too much. Even if he had done stuff with them, there were too many holes in his story that just wouldn't add up if you started to probe deeper. On top of that, if you do work with an official agency like the FBI, CIA or ATF, I imagine there is a non-disclosure statement you sign that is legally binding for many years after your contract has been terminated. You just don't blab national security interests around, just because you're no longer employed.
I would ask the guy questions about certain things he would say, like the time he got a shrapnel wounds from an AK-47. Look at the dude and he doesn't have any scars on his body. And an AK-47 fires bullets, not mortar bursts or fragmentation bursts like a grenade does. Complete bullshit. Still, I would entertain the question to see what kind of answer I would recieve. "Oh well the medical team I dealt with had advanced equipment that wouldn't leave scars" he would say. Right. I was a paramedic for 12 years and managed a clinic and I know that any cut or tear on the body will leave a mark. Tell me something I don't know.
But it was shit like that he would dream up from out of the blue and then expect people to believe it. I figured as long as the dumb-ass wasn't hurting anyone with his stories, what harm could it do? Just let the fool be.
Although I have a "live and let live" motto, there are just some things I can't associate with if I see my friends doing them, and Matt fell into that category. Him and his wife Cibbie were at odds with one another and he wouldn't do shit to take care of her. That kind of bothered me since I never saw them in public together, they never had company over except for his friends and he never helped out around the house with any of the chores even though she held a job and he didn't. Still, I'm not one to get involved with domestic disputes and kept my distance for the most part. Every so often I would hint to Matt that maybe he should pay more attention to his wife and not have so many friends over all the time, but it would go in one ear and right out the other.
Well, Cibbie was about 8 months pregnant when she delivered early. This was completely unexpected for everyone, including her since the doctor told her she had at least another month or so to go. At that same time I was getting surgery in Okinawa for sleep apnea and needed someone to go along to take care of me once I was released from the hospital. I asked all my friends and even my family if they could make the trip with me and everybody said "no". Matt was my last string of friends to ask to go and didn't want to involve him since his responsibilities lay with his future family and not with me. Reluctantly I asked if he could be my attendant and without so much a second thought, agreed to tag along.
"What about Cibbie and the baby?" I asked him.
"Oh don't worry - I'll find someone to help out with them." he insisted.
"Dude I don't like the sound of that. Really, you should be there for your wife."
"I'll talk with her about it and I'll let you know."
"Okay but if I find someone else to go instead I'm going to take them along." I finished.
Even to this day I get the impression he never told his wife until the last second and even then it was more like "Well I'm going to Okinawa with Machine for 3 weeks and there's nothing you can do about it. See you when I get back."
I had time to think about what had happened while we were in Okinawa, before and after the surgery too. For anyone who hasn't had major surgery, it really knocks the wind out of your sails. It took me about 3 weeks to recover from the operation, with the first 2 weeks being essentially bed-ridden. I lost 25 pounds in that time frame since I could barely eat or drink anything and spent the majority of the time sleeping, regaining my strength. I could barely keep my balance when I got up to go to the bathroom, which is why it was imperative Matt get me water or food when I needed it.
He would just sit there and play video games instead. All day, all night. Granted I didn't expect the dude to carry conversations with me or anything but I didn't expect to be ignored for 5 minutes straight when I needed something either. To say that pissed me off is an understatement. And the more I thought about him ditching Cibbie and his newborn son to come down with me for the surgery pissed me off too. Perhaps I have an over-developed sense of responsibility to family but he should've been back home instead of fucking off playing video games. Or he should've made arrangements for his wife and newborn to come with me as well so he could meet both obligations.
After we returned to Misawa, he continued neglecting his wife and child by going out and drinking or fucking off with his friends. I told him now that he was a family man he couldn't (or shouldn't) do those things, but he outright ignored me anyways. I told him to knock the shit off and even still the guy wouldn't listen. He was perfectly content sponging off his wife's paycheck but didn't want to contribute any by getting a job or getting enrolled in a college program. I even encouraged the guy to take the same classes I was taking, as a means of getting him on the right track, but he didn't make the effort to do that either. On top of that he was having on-line romances with girls he knew, completely behind his wife's back. I told the dude flat out that his actions were disgraceful and totally unbecoming, and that if he continued to do this, that I would break off contact with him. After all, you are known by the company you keep. Again, he acted like he didn't have a care in the world.
Finally the dude broke the bond of trust we had. He decided to crash my house one night without calling me first. He brought over some friends around 10pm and I had to work the next morning. My day starts at 5am whether I like it or not and to have some kinda shit like this happen is totally uncalled for. He wanted to party and drink but I was like "No fucking way dude. Go back home to your wife and to your son NOW!" I was so pissed at that too. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I called the dude the next day and essentially told him to go fuck himself and bringing people over like that was completely out of character. I enjoy my privacy for a reason and don't want uninvited guests over, especially if I don't know them. After all if word got out as to my whereabouts, some religious asshole could come torch my house for whatever fundie reason his imagination comes up with. They kill abortion clinic doctors, and I'm quite sure that Satanists are somewhere towards the top of their hit-lists too. As tiny as Misawa was, it would be a matter of no-time before a lynch mob would show up at my doorstep. Either way, my safety is a primary concern of mine and I don't want any dick swinging asshole showing up just out of the blue. Matt knew better than to do something like that and as a result dissolved our friendship pretty much on the spot.
"Get your act together, Matt. When you do, come see me and we can still hang out" I told him. "Your actions have been a complete disgrace, especially with Cibbie and your son Gavin, and I feel responsible for that somehow. It was my fault to ask you to come to Okinawa with me and I should've never put you in that position." I told him. "I should've asked for the hospital to provide me with a medical attendant instead. But it's too late for that now and I've even gone so far to apologize to your wife for putting her through that. That was wrong of me to do."
Needless to say, Matt stayed true to himself and never got his act together before I left Japan last year. I would see him around base and he would shoot me dirty looks. I would just smile at the guy and go about my business. He started talking shit about me too but in the end none of it stuck. While my friends applauded me for doing the right thing by admitting fault to my part in it all, people started seeing him for what he truly was and as a result started avoiding him more and more. From what I gather he continues to pawn his responsibilities off on other people still and has no desire to be a dad. While I saw him a few times with his kid in public, knowing him, he still puts that obligation on his wife. Although it's been over a year, I wouldn't be surprised if the dude ended up taking off and going back to the States instead of hanging around - if he can weasel his way out of something he would.
I'll find out next month when I go on leave back to Misawa to see other friends of mine.
Talking with her today reminded me of my time at Misawa and someone I used to hang out with. Used to is to be paid attention to. His name was Matt and I knew the dude for about 5 or 6 months.
Matt aka "Wolfe" was a cool guy to party with but he was a pathological liar and always looking to scam out of things. At first I didn't pay much attention to the bullshit he would talk about since it's common for dudes to exaggerate about all sorts of shit. Hell, I do it here on this blog solely for Entertainment Purposes, but for him it was a way of life.
At first I wouldn't pay him any mind to the stories he would make up, but then slowly but surely I would hear the same lines repeated to different people, with each time becoming more and more embellished. I can understand raising the bullshit quotient slightly on something but hearing how he went from working as an Intel weenie to outright lying by saying he helped do covert missions with the Joint Narcotics Division was just too much. Even if he had done stuff with them, there were too many holes in his story that just wouldn't add up if you started to probe deeper. On top of that, if you do work with an official agency like the FBI, CIA or ATF, I imagine there is a non-disclosure statement you sign that is legally binding for many years after your contract has been terminated. You just don't blab national security interests around, just because you're no longer employed.
I would ask the guy questions about certain things he would say, like the time he got a shrapnel wounds from an AK-47. Look at the dude and he doesn't have any scars on his body. And an AK-47 fires bullets, not mortar bursts or fragmentation bursts like a grenade does. Complete bullshit. Still, I would entertain the question to see what kind of answer I would recieve. "Oh well the medical team I dealt with had advanced equipment that wouldn't leave scars" he would say. Right. I was a paramedic for 12 years and managed a clinic and I know that any cut or tear on the body will leave a mark. Tell me something I don't know.
But it was shit like that he would dream up from out of the blue and then expect people to believe it. I figured as long as the dumb-ass wasn't hurting anyone with his stories, what harm could it do? Just let the fool be.
Although I have a "live and let live" motto, there are just some things I can't associate with if I see my friends doing them, and Matt fell into that category. Him and his wife Cibbie were at odds with one another and he wouldn't do shit to take care of her. That kind of bothered me since I never saw them in public together, they never had company over except for his friends and he never helped out around the house with any of the chores even though she held a job and he didn't. Still, I'm not one to get involved with domestic disputes and kept my distance for the most part. Every so often I would hint to Matt that maybe he should pay more attention to his wife and not have so many friends over all the time, but it would go in one ear and right out the other.
Well, Cibbie was about 8 months pregnant when she delivered early. This was completely unexpected for everyone, including her since the doctor told her she had at least another month or so to go. At that same time I was getting surgery in Okinawa for sleep apnea and needed someone to go along to take care of me once I was released from the hospital. I asked all my friends and even my family if they could make the trip with me and everybody said "no". Matt was my last string of friends to ask to go and didn't want to involve him since his responsibilities lay with his future family and not with me. Reluctantly I asked if he could be my attendant and without so much a second thought, agreed to tag along.
"What about Cibbie and the baby?" I asked him.
"Oh don't worry - I'll find someone to help out with them." he insisted.
"Dude I don't like the sound of that. Really, you should be there for your wife."
"I'll talk with her about it and I'll let you know."
"Okay but if I find someone else to go instead I'm going to take them along." I finished.
Even to this day I get the impression he never told his wife until the last second and even then it was more like "Well I'm going to Okinawa with Machine for 3 weeks and there's nothing you can do about it. See you when I get back."
I had time to think about what had happened while we were in Okinawa, before and after the surgery too. For anyone who hasn't had major surgery, it really knocks the wind out of your sails. It took me about 3 weeks to recover from the operation, with the first 2 weeks being essentially bed-ridden. I lost 25 pounds in that time frame since I could barely eat or drink anything and spent the majority of the time sleeping, regaining my strength. I could barely keep my balance when I got up to go to the bathroom, which is why it was imperative Matt get me water or food when I needed it.
He would just sit there and play video games instead. All day, all night. Granted I didn't expect the dude to carry conversations with me or anything but I didn't expect to be ignored for 5 minutes straight when I needed something either. To say that pissed me off is an understatement. And the more I thought about him ditching Cibbie and his newborn son to come down with me for the surgery pissed me off too. Perhaps I have an over-developed sense of responsibility to family but he should've been back home instead of fucking off playing video games. Or he should've made arrangements for his wife and newborn to come with me as well so he could meet both obligations.
After we returned to Misawa, he continued neglecting his wife and child by going out and drinking or fucking off with his friends. I told him now that he was a family man he couldn't (or shouldn't) do those things, but he outright ignored me anyways. I told him to knock the shit off and even still the guy wouldn't listen. He was perfectly content sponging off his wife's paycheck but didn't want to contribute any by getting a job or getting enrolled in a college program. I even encouraged the guy to take the same classes I was taking, as a means of getting him on the right track, but he didn't make the effort to do that either. On top of that he was having on-line romances with girls he knew, completely behind his wife's back. I told the dude flat out that his actions were disgraceful and totally unbecoming, and that if he continued to do this, that I would break off contact with him. After all, you are known by the company you keep. Again, he acted like he didn't have a care in the world.
Finally the dude broke the bond of trust we had. He decided to crash my house one night without calling me first. He brought over some friends around 10pm and I had to work the next morning. My day starts at 5am whether I like it or not and to have some kinda shit like this happen is totally uncalled for. He wanted to party and drink but I was like "No fucking way dude. Go back home to your wife and to your son NOW!" I was so pissed at that too. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I called the dude the next day and essentially told him to go fuck himself and bringing people over like that was completely out of character. I enjoy my privacy for a reason and don't want uninvited guests over, especially if I don't know them. After all if word got out as to my whereabouts, some religious asshole could come torch my house for whatever fundie reason his imagination comes up with. They kill abortion clinic doctors, and I'm quite sure that Satanists are somewhere towards the top of their hit-lists too. As tiny as Misawa was, it would be a matter of no-time before a lynch mob would show up at my doorstep. Either way, my safety is a primary concern of mine and I don't want any dick swinging asshole showing up just out of the blue. Matt knew better than to do something like that and as a result dissolved our friendship pretty much on the spot.
"Get your act together, Matt. When you do, come see me and we can still hang out" I told him. "Your actions have been a complete disgrace, especially with Cibbie and your son Gavin, and I feel responsible for that somehow. It was my fault to ask you to come to Okinawa with me and I should've never put you in that position." I told him. "I should've asked for the hospital to provide me with a medical attendant instead. But it's too late for that now and I've even gone so far to apologize to your wife for putting her through that. That was wrong of me to do."
Needless to say, Matt stayed true to himself and never got his act together before I left Japan last year. I would see him around base and he would shoot me dirty looks. I would just smile at the guy and go about my business. He started talking shit about me too but in the end none of it stuck. While my friends applauded me for doing the right thing by admitting fault to my part in it all, people started seeing him for what he truly was and as a result started avoiding him more and more. From what I gather he continues to pawn his responsibilities off on other people still and has no desire to be a dad. While I saw him a few times with his kid in public, knowing him, he still puts that obligation on his wife. Although it's been over a year, I wouldn't be surprised if the dude ended up taking off and going back to the States instead of hanging around - if he can weasel his way out of something he would.
I'll find out next month when I go on leave back to Misawa to see other friends of mine.
posted by Machine at 3:49 PM
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