Gandalf
There's this retiree dude that roams Ramstein and the KMC area. He's way fucking old and looks like he could croak at any minute. How this dude gets around I have no idea since his health is horrible and has resorted to using two walking canes for movement. I call the dude "Gandalf" since he resembles that guy from the Lord of the Rings movie - whatever the hell his name is.
Zhombie thinks the guy is a retired E-7 and lives in dumpsters. According to him, the guy is mean as hell and has a rap sheet the size of a collegiate dictionary for all the times he's been picked up by the cops for whatever reason - being disorderly or vagrancy. See, the military doesn't like to admit that they have a homeless population of retirees running around that can be witnessed at most passenger terminals and the food court area of the base or post exchange. It would reflect poorly on the system since we're conditioned to believe how we're all super heroes that can bend the fabric of space and time, and to admit that someone has served his purpose and can't survive outside the system would be a disgrace. So, we sweep them under the rug like they're not there. Anycase, Zhombie told me how people will try to do nice things for him, only he'll snap their fucking heads off within a split second. One chick he works with even went so far as to try to give him a cup of coffee one day, only Gandalf told her to fuck off as he knocked the drink out of her hands. Heh.
I saw Gandalf yesterday and today. He was sleeping in the food court at one of the tables and resembled one of those little garden gnomes you see laying around. If I had my camera with me, I'd snap a photo and post it here for everyone to see. I'm half-tempted to see how far I can push the guy before he gets pissed and starts yelling at me sometime. Maybe steal his cane or knock the hat off his head and then run away real quick. If he truly sleeps in a dumpster I'm curious which one it is, so I can throw meat scraps in there so alley cats will bother him in the middle of the night. All that meowing and cat piss - the scent will never get out of his clothes.
If I ever make a cheesey B-movie I will definitely use him as comic relief. Perhaps I can do my own version of Lord of the Rings or its parody Lord of the Strings as a way of making it happen. Eh. Who really cares? I just wanna get the dude on tape before he kicks the bucket!
Zhombie thinks the guy is a retired E-7 and lives in dumpsters. According to him, the guy is mean as hell and has a rap sheet the size of a collegiate dictionary for all the times he's been picked up by the cops for whatever reason - being disorderly or vagrancy. See, the military doesn't like to admit that they have a homeless population of retirees running around that can be witnessed at most passenger terminals and the food court area of the base or post exchange. It would reflect poorly on the system since we're conditioned to believe how we're all super heroes that can bend the fabric of space and time, and to admit that someone has served his purpose and can't survive outside the system would be a disgrace. So, we sweep them under the rug like they're not there. Anycase, Zhombie told me how people will try to do nice things for him, only he'll snap their fucking heads off within a split second. One chick he works with even went so far as to try to give him a cup of coffee one day, only Gandalf told her to fuck off as he knocked the drink out of her hands. Heh.
I saw Gandalf yesterday and today. He was sleeping in the food court at one of the tables and resembled one of those little garden gnomes you see laying around. If I had my camera with me, I'd snap a photo and post it here for everyone to see. I'm half-tempted to see how far I can push the guy before he gets pissed and starts yelling at me sometime. Maybe steal his cane or knock the hat off his head and then run away real quick. If he truly sleeps in a dumpster I'm curious which one it is, so I can throw meat scraps in there so alley cats will bother him in the middle of the night. All that meowing and cat piss - the scent will never get out of his clothes.
If I ever make a cheesey B-movie I will definitely use him as comic relief. Perhaps I can do my own version of Lord of the Rings or its parody Lord of the Strings as a way of making it happen. Eh. Who really cares? I just wanna get the dude on tape before he kicks the bucket!
posted by Machine at 8:59 PM
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