The Machine Challenge
Listening to the George Carlin CD the other day, it got me thinking about something.
George starts ranting how we've fucked up the American continent by turning it into a giant shopping mall. He continues to blow steam off for about 5 minutes on this topic, how we fucked over the Indians and the Mexicans when we stole America from them and look what we turned it into.
Well boo-fucking-hoo.
I happen to like America the way it is (minus the bullshit politics) and every time I go back to the States, it's a real treat for me to go to a super market, a mall, or a convenience store. What most Americans fail to realize is is HOW GOOD they have it. Instead they whine about everything they take for granted with sarcasm and irreverence.
So listen - all you disillusioned college kids who have never had to work a day in your life - quit spouting Marxist bullshit ideology and take the Machine Challenge. I challenge all you douche-bags out there to spend at least 1 calendar year in some shit hole Third World nation and see how you end up liking it. The nation can be yours of your choosing but highly recommend Saudi Arabia, South Korea, or the entire continent of Africa. If you're pressed for cash, go stay in Mexico. Tijuana is just a hop, skip and a jump from San Diego. While you have "modern" appliances, the fact you're still forced to live in such a shit hole of an environment counts just as good.
Move to some shitty village where you speak very little of the language. Start from square one on this. Learn how to communicate with the locals the old fashioned way - don't demand they speak English. Live in a one bedroom apartment or hutch and figure out how to get around without help or assistance. When you do come to a merchant, see what the quality of the products they sell are. Chances are it's some knock-off or something they managed to pull from the bottom of the barrel. See how long whatever it is you buy lasts, and then how quickly it is you have to replace it. No money-back guarantees, no rebates or exchanges.
Not only that but go without the fast food and trendy restaurants you criticize but yet you secretly eat at. No Burger King, no In-n-Out Burger, no McDonald's or Jack-in-the-Box. You're stuck with whatever local restaurant there is and the health standards are questionable. No Applebee's, TGI Friday's or any of that gay shit you trendy fuckers like to go eat at.
No convenience stores. If you want a Slurpee next time you get gas at the gas station it's not happening. No American products whatsoever. You're stuck choosing between the dried squid roll-up or the pine needle candy for a snack. If it's late and you're hungry and you forgot to get something to eat that day, you're fucked.
I guarantee you that by the end of your 1 year remote in whatever god-forsaken country you choose, you will have a renewed outlook on America and a profound reverence for everything you've taken for granted. Every time I have been stuck in Korea or have been sent to the Middle East (The total for everything is 7), I marvel just how wonderful America really is and how good we have it, yet you cunt-flaps fail to recognize it. It's the same reason why all those goddamned Messicans continue to jump the border - opportunity abounds. Do a mile in my shoes next time you bitch and whine how bad gas prices are and WALK EVERYWHERE. You'll lose weight and shut the fuck up in the process. Two birds, one stone.
So as amusing as I find George Carlin to be, I can't agree with him on this one. If he's become so disgusted with what our country has become, move the fuck out. It's that simple. Don't bitch about a problem unless you're going to do something about it.
Take the Machine Challenge and come talk to me again in 365.
George starts ranting how we've fucked up the American continent by turning it into a giant shopping mall. He continues to blow steam off for about 5 minutes on this topic, how we fucked over the Indians and the Mexicans when we stole America from them and look what we turned it into.
Well boo-fucking-hoo.
I happen to like America the way it is (minus the bullshit politics) and every time I go back to the States, it's a real treat for me to go to a super market, a mall, or a convenience store. What most Americans fail to realize is is HOW GOOD they have it. Instead they whine about everything they take for granted with sarcasm and irreverence.
So listen - all you disillusioned college kids who have never had to work a day in your life - quit spouting Marxist bullshit ideology and take the Machine Challenge. I challenge all you douche-bags out there to spend at least 1 calendar year in some shit hole Third World nation and see how you end up liking it. The nation can be yours of your choosing but highly recommend Saudi Arabia, South Korea, or the entire continent of Africa. If you're pressed for cash, go stay in Mexico. Tijuana is just a hop, skip and a jump from San Diego. While you have "modern" appliances, the fact you're still forced to live in such a shit hole of an environment counts just as good.
Move to some shitty village where you speak very little of the language. Start from square one on this. Learn how to communicate with the locals the old fashioned way - don't demand they speak English. Live in a one bedroom apartment or hutch and figure out how to get around without help or assistance. When you do come to a merchant, see what the quality of the products they sell are. Chances are it's some knock-off or something they managed to pull from the bottom of the barrel. See how long whatever it is you buy lasts, and then how quickly it is you have to replace it. No money-back guarantees, no rebates or exchanges.
Not only that but go without the fast food and trendy restaurants you criticize but yet you secretly eat at. No Burger King, no In-n-Out Burger, no McDonald's or Jack-in-the-Box. You're stuck with whatever local restaurant there is and the health standards are questionable. No Applebee's, TGI Friday's or any of that gay shit you trendy fuckers like to go eat at.
No convenience stores. If you want a Slurpee next time you get gas at the gas station it's not happening. No American products whatsoever. You're stuck choosing between the dried squid roll-up or the pine needle candy for a snack. If it's late and you're hungry and you forgot to get something to eat that day, you're fucked.
I guarantee you that by the end of your 1 year remote in whatever god-forsaken country you choose, you will have a renewed outlook on America and a profound reverence for everything you've taken for granted. Every time I have been stuck in Korea or have been sent to the Middle East (The total for everything is 7), I marvel just how wonderful America really is and how good we have it, yet you cunt-flaps fail to recognize it. It's the same reason why all those goddamned Messicans continue to jump the border - opportunity abounds. Do a mile in my shoes next time you bitch and whine how bad gas prices are and WALK EVERYWHERE. You'll lose weight and shut the fuck up in the process. Two birds, one stone.
So as amusing as I find George Carlin to be, I can't agree with him on this one. If he's become so disgusted with what our country has become, move the fuck out. It's that simple. Don't bitch about a problem unless you're going to do something about it.
Take the Machine Challenge and come talk to me again in 365.
posted by Machine at 9:04 PM
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