First Day Out

Fucking Hell.

What's the VERY FIRST FUCKING THING I SEE when I go out this morning?

A fucking COYOTE with a DEAD CAT in its mouth, ready to make breakfast out of the fucking thing.

I shit you not.

Because I have become a quasi-religious health nut, I wake up at 5am everyday to go run and exercise and what not, and there is a college up the road from where my folks live that has an open track you can run on. I get in my car, drive up to the college, and see this fucking thing in the middle of a road with a black and white adult cat clutched in its mouth looking at me like "What the fuck is the Machine looking at me for? Is he going to steal the cat I just killed and slap its entrails on the neighbor's front porch? Or even worse, is the Machine going to reve the engine and run over both me and the fucking kitty together, making a coyote-kitty pancake on the road?"

Fuck no.

If anything, I have more respect for animals than I do most people and wouldn't hurt a creature unless it brought purpose to the end result, and not just some fucked up personal satisfaction. I know too many people who are far more deserving of getting eviscerated or ran over than some mangy canine acting on instinct. Still, it was really fucking unusual and had to write that as my first point of entry.

Now on to better things.

There was a fucking knife sale at this sporting good store and I bought a shit-load of them today, plus a new pair of running shoes. Like I've mentioned previously, I have a fascination with knives, not firearms for some reason, and bought a really fucking sweet lung-ripper of a blade. this thing actually has a smooth side and a serated side and folds ever so nicely in your pocket. There is something about having a knife in your hand that just makes a rifle or a pistol pale in comparison. Perhaps it's the fact you really have to put forth effort to use the fucking thing, whereas pulling a trigger doesn't require any real thought on your part. A heat of the moment reaction and you're up shit-creek. At least with a blade, you have to purposely stick it in someone to do damage.

I ran around everywhere today and saw more fucking hot chicks than I knew what to do. I swear, I was like a kid in a candy shop looking at all these chicks too, and most of you fuckers would probably consider them to be "ordinary" or "plain" by American standards. Well fuck you then! Go do a remote assignment or two where selections are few to none and then see how fucking gorgeous everyday women are. Unfortunately I couldn't get two words out to form a complete sentence and looked like a total fuck hole when talking to them today. Perhaps in a week or so when I assimilate back into American society I will know how to behave and engage in conversation.

The biggest thing that pisses me off about living in Southern California are the current gasoline prices. Jeezus Fucking Christ, it cost me damn near $40 to fill my car up today. WTF. We have at our fingertips one of the richest oil-producing countries in the WORLD and yet those corporate kidney thieves at Halliburton are raping our wallets still. Fucking assholes. I hope you all get caught in some huge scandal like Enron and get fucking fired from your jobs. Fuck you all. The homeless piece of shit guy on the street is an upstanding citizen compared to you ass flakes since he's only robbing people out of nickles and dimes versus billions and billions of dollars. I wouldn't piss on your backs if you were on fire.

Anycase back to the whole hot chick thing. I hope my eyes don't decieve me and some hottie I meet at the mall or whatever turns out to be jail bait. That would be bad. Very bad. Two things the Machine doesn't do is jail bait and date rape. Everything else is negotiable as long as you're over the age of consent and infection free.