2005 in Review

Well. I'm bored enough to do one of these things.

Hell. Actually I need to give the PlaySatan 2 a break and quit playing video games all together but that will never happen. I've had my hands wrapped up in Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater this past week for those of you geeky enough to know what I'm talking about. I've even gotten shit at work from the Bitch Squad because I was trying to make some lame toilet jokes about it only nobody appreciated my potty humor. Think about it. Solid Snake = Solid Stool. Metal Gear = Stainless steel commode. I could go on but I'll spare you.

Anycase since you fuckers have gone the distance with me, I think it's fitting to put 2005 into review. I promise to make it as short as possible so I won't detract any illegal downloading you're doing or interrupt your search for free internet porn. Here goes:

January through May of this year sucked donkey balls. Royal donkey balls. My stupid ass was still in Korea and I was having to put up with all sorts of stupid bullshit from asshole supervisors to senior management. Kunsan is the perfect place for assholes and overachievers alike to get their fix of egomania. I'm surprised they don't decide to extend for more than 1 year so they can keep the power trip going. While I'm tempted to point fingers and cough up names directly, I won't since they could easily fuck up my world and it's not worth throwing away what I've invested in the military this far. I'll just say they know who they are and I'll leave it at that.

May was cool since I got to go back to Japan and see some old friends. Not only that but I got to rock out with Zakk Wylde and the Black Label Society - Tokyo Chapter in Shibuya for 2 nights before I had to go back to Korea. It was awesome and it both sucked since I didn't want to get back on the plane but it was only a matter of time before I could leave Korea once and for all and kiss that backwater shithole goodbye once and for all - the first of July.

June saw me getting ready to pack shit up for July when I left. I got to return to Japan one last time and went back to Misawa to say some final goodbyes. I remember getting on the bullet train feeling that I was a long lost son returning home after having endured a year of chaos and hard living and how wonderful it was to be home again. Then I had to shake that and remember that I was heading over to Germany and the entire reason why I had endured another year of bullshit and melodrama was so I could get over here. I breezed through Rappongi and Ueno one last time before getting on the plane to return Stateside. Kinda weird spending the last 10 years bouncing around Asia and the US.

July and August kicked ass. I got to meet Johnny Ryan finally at the Comic Con and for 2 months I was home on leave. No work. No schedules. Just me, the gym, and lots of Comedy Central. I got to fuck around San Diego the way I wanted to. I also made a trip out to DC and met Crazy Girl and JoeTheFat finally. Never thought that would happen but hey - they're cool people and if they ever come to Germany they're more than welcome to stay at my place. I have a basement in my house too!

September to present my ass has been here in Germany. I like Germany, but Ramstein kills me. Too much B.S. for no reason too. The closest way I can explain this place is if you take Andrews or Langley and stick it over here, but without the rest of the DC area to reinforce the bureaucracy. Still I'm a little fish in a big pond and at this stage in the game I'm happy to sit back and let people drown in the red tape instead of actually trying to fight the tide. I learned the hard way that things won't change as long as the assholes and overachievers are running things, and it's best to stay under their radars unless I make some serious rank - and that will never happen - rest assured. If you want the details, just go back and read my older entries.

So there yah have it. Now go get drunk, get laid, and start the New Year's right by getting a DUI. After all your tax payer dollars are going to good use!