X-mas office party

Heh. We had a X-mas holiday party the other day. Everyone brought in something to eat except me - if you remember or not, I brought some Doritos to the Thanksgiving office luncheon, only to have all the bitches complain. So staying true to my word, I have refused to bring anything else to an office function ever again. Fuck them. Instead I tore into the holiday turkey like some bloodthirsty viking and grabbed cookies by the handful. I chugged a bottle of sweetened iced tea I had bought for myself and growled incomprehensibly like a mad dog towards anyone who came close to me while I was eating. Homer Simpson would've been proud. Because my office is 99.9% black and/or hispanic, this makes things very interesting for someone like myself. While I'm quite certain I have a Mediterranean gene kicking around in me somewhere (I bronze when I tan) I am by all accounts your typical white guy. I love rock music, Harley-Davidson motorcycles and apple pie. Some of the comments I hear these people say openly I tend to ignore or play Devil's Advocate and fire back some witty-yet-safe remark that makes the person look like the ignorant racist they are. Yes folks, there are plenty of black and hispanic racists out there, despite what the liberal media and Democrats would like to have you believe. Some black guy who I'll refer to as "Malcolm" decided to take a stab at the turkey and say "Yeah us bruthas love us some white meat. We can never get enough" and looked at me with a serious dead pan look on his face like he wanted to start some shit. I grimaced slightly but ignored his stupid comment. After he got done filling his plate, he gave me another look and said "Did you hear what I said?" to which I replied "I did but in an office full of people I'm going to let you make an ass of yourself and will choose to instead say nothing" and walked off. For the past 15 years I've had to deal with this kind of subtle but ever persistant back-lash. It's just as prevailent in the workplace as it is elsewhere. Shows like "In Living Color" when they were on reflected this mentality and in some ways have magnified it. While it's stupid to say that television and the media are to blame for society's problems they do serve as a good litmus test, just as a thermometer tells you the temperature outside. Even if I was in a situation where the roles were reversed, I usually don't make those kind of comments to begin with. Despite what alot of people may think, there are people like myself out there who pride intelligence as an attribute worth having and judge people based on how they present themselves and not by the color of their skin. Or, as I love to paraphrase the late Anton LaVey - "Stupidity is the #1 sin of Satanism" and I've got an officeful of morons I'm dealing with. We had a Secret Santa gift exchange and I decided not to participate. I was thinking about buying a box of 20 plastic trash bags and have the thing gift wrapped although whoever won the fucker would have something useful and I would've spent my money on them either way. Fuck that. If the janitor's closet hadn't been locked I could've swiped a roll of toilet paper and used that instead but the German cleaning ladies don't come in to work until 5pm usually and I'm long gone by then. Anycase the gifts sucked and I'm glad I didn't participate! Hopefully this time next year alot of these assholes will be gone and we'll have some better people in the office instead. We'll see but either way I ended up getting a free meal and farted around them for the rest of the afternoon, causing them to bitch and fuss some more. After all, it is better to give than to recieve!!