Alien Hemorrhoid Cream
Fuck me running. This cold I've had all week has been really giving me a run for my money. I didn't go out any yesterday since I felt like shit and didn't want to deal with the freezing rain. I figured since Crazy-woman Sheehan wasn't going to show up to this protest, why drag my ass out there just to see a bunch of fuck-holes yell at eachother? You can go to a Phillies game and see the same thing.
So, I just stayed inside and played Area 51 on my X-Box. That dork David Duchovny plays the main character (you) of a Hazmat Team that's supposed to go in and contain an outbreak. I've had limited Hazmat Training from when I was an EMT and thought it was pretty cool that I could relate to at least this part of the game. Turns out the game is full of all the same UFO bullshit and conspiracy theory crap you get from the X-Files, only there's no Scully chick running around being annoying as hell. Bwa ha ha ~ ! That dude has become so type-casted he'll never have any other kind of acting job than that. He'd even bend over backwards and do hemorrhoid cream commercials just to break the Hollywood stereotype I'd bet! Maybe he could combine the two and say "Next time you get an anal probe in Uranus, try Ass-steroids! The cream that wipes out Klingons!"
Marilyn Manson also does the voice of this retarded-looking alien that resembles a deformed fetus or perhaps an abortion that lived. I like Marilyn Manson's music and his autobiography and have respect for what he's done challenging the Religious Reich. I just hope now that his music career has been washed-up he'll focus more on pissing off people everywhere and not lame cameos in video games.
Speaking of lame, because I've been out all week, I haven't bothered shaving and was sporting one of those faggy Euro beards that the dork from Star Trek was wearing. Number 1 or whatever he's called. I had to shave it off today since tomorrow I have to go back to work. I was pimpin' with the faggy Euro beard the other day too - 3 different people I know saw me and said I looked like a local. Heh. Cool. Now all I need to do is to go every third day without a shower and start wearing the banana hammock-style underwear and I'll blend right in perfectly.
Ugh. But still. I think there's some kinda flu pandemic going around or some shit. Even some of my friends back in the States are sick as dog shit and they haven't been to Europe any time soon either. Heh. Makes me wonder when the next "big one" is gonna hit? Eh - we're overdue another Black Plague the way I see it. Who knows? Maybe it's a conspiracy!
So, I just stayed inside and played Area 51 on my X-Box. That dork David Duchovny plays the main character (you) of a Hazmat Team that's supposed to go in and contain an outbreak. I've had limited Hazmat Training from when I was an EMT and thought it was pretty cool that I could relate to at least this part of the game. Turns out the game is full of all the same UFO bullshit and conspiracy theory crap you get from the X-Files, only there's no Scully chick running around being annoying as hell. Bwa ha ha ~ ! That dude has become so type-casted he'll never have any other kind of acting job than that. He'd even bend over backwards and do hemorrhoid cream commercials just to break the Hollywood stereotype I'd bet! Maybe he could combine the two and say "Next time you get an anal probe in Uranus, try Ass-steroids! The cream that wipes out Klingons!"
Marilyn Manson also does the voice of this retarded-looking alien that resembles a deformed fetus or perhaps an abortion that lived. I like Marilyn Manson's music and his autobiography and have respect for what he's done challenging the Religious Reich. I just hope now that his music career has been washed-up he'll focus more on pissing off people everywhere and not lame cameos in video games.
Speaking of lame, because I've been out all week, I haven't bothered shaving and was sporting one of those faggy Euro beards that the dork from Star Trek was wearing. Number 1 or whatever he's called. I had to shave it off today since tomorrow I have to go back to work. I was pimpin' with the faggy Euro beard the other day too - 3 different people I know saw me and said I looked like a local. Heh. Cool. Now all I need to do is to go every third day without a shower and start wearing the banana hammock-style underwear and I'll blend right in perfectly.
Ugh. But still. I think there's some kinda flu pandemic going around or some shit. Even some of my friends back in the States are sick as dog shit and they haven't been to Europe any time soon either. Heh. Makes me wonder when the next "big one" is gonna hit? Eh - we're overdue another Black Plague the way I see it. Who knows? Maybe it's a conspiracy!
posted by Machine at 11:10 AM
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