The Last Laugh

I hate these motherfuckers that always want to put me down - pigeon hole me in some way or fashion for whatever reason. No, this isn't some bullshit wallow in self-pity entry - fuck that - instead this is where this devil gets the last laugh and laughs the longest. See, part of the reason why my ass has been so busy lately is because I recieved a promotion. Yes motherfuckers, THE MACHINE is working his way up the pseudo-corporate ladder. Actions speak louder than words and I deliver. A true Professional Demon. There are some motherfuckers out there - they know who they are - who think I don't have my shit together because I'm not one of these self-serving assholes whose sole interest is self-promotion. You know the kind - the fucking "Yes Men" and "Poster Children" who look for a photo op every chance they get. Chances are I'll never be a Senior NCO simply because I don't want to deal with the bullshit, headaches and long hours - but from the way things are turning out, it just might happen after all, despite my misgivings. But these are the assholes that have to attach their name to every thing their subordinates do, in order to justify their position in the chain of command. One such asshole was this dude I worked with last year when I first got here - MAJOR PAYNE (not his real name or rank) - he earned the name based on physical appearance similarities to Dayman Wayans and the fact he used to be a drill instructor. MAJOR PAYNE was a MAJOR PAIN in the ass. This cocky sonofabitch didn't like having me around since I knew the job better than he did, and since I was junior in rank to him and saw through all the smokescreen and bullshit he was building up around him, decided to have me transfered to another section upon first arriving Ram-shaft. He got everyone to buy into it, telling them all what a liability I was behind closed doors, and then when it was time to break the news, did a complete 180 and like a snake-in-the-fucking-grass that he was, said it was to expand my professional responsibilities. "Machine, we need you in this section over here instead" he insisted. "Because you haven't worked this other shop before, we want to give you the opportunity to grow professionally" he said, lying through his teeth. Sitting back, listening to all of this, I could tell he was full of shit but since I didn't trust the rat-bastard any further than I could throw him, figured it was a good way to prove to this jerky fuck that I could get the job done WITHOUT all the official gubmint bullshit he so heavily built his image upon. Damage control from someone who could fuck me over career-wise. Well sure enough, I get over to this new section and start by jumping in with both feet - I won't bore you with the details as to my job - but let's just say that once I learned the ropes it started impressing all the right people - the ones that mattered. I stuck to my guns and sure enough when promotion time came around, I got selected. Another fuck-wit I wanna give a big middle-finger to is here in Germany with me, but I only see him once in a while since he works in a completely different part of the KMC - KID DAK. Similar to Major Payne, this cunt-flap didn't like my style of management when I worked with him in Korea and tried burning me at the stake when I wouldn't kiss his ass. All year the fucker avoided me like the plague despite work orders getting done on time. Despite one or two learning mistakes I made on the way, I kept his ass outta trouble with the big boys by making our shop look good. When it came time for promotion last year the fucker would not put in a package for me no matter what. In his mind I was completely undeserving and even went so far to let the command here know "what a liability" I was before they had the chance to meet me in person. SO FUCK YOU ALL YOU NAY-SAYERS AND TWO-FACED DOUCHEBAGS THAT SAID I COULDN'T MAKE IT. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU NOW TO DISPROVE ME? YOU'RE NOWHERE. YOU'VE BEEN PROVED WRONG AND CAN'T ARGUE FACT. SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE AND MY ASS IS LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. I'M EVERY BIT JUST AS CAPABLE AS YOU ARE AND JUST BECAUSE I DON'T TOW THE COMPANY LINE OR LOOK LIKE SOME FUCKING POSTER BOY OUT OF UNIFORM DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T KNOW MY SHIT. SO AGAIN. FUCK YOU. As a side note: Major Payne's stupid ass got shipped back to the States on a humanitarian assignment - karma's a bitch when you fuck around with one of the Devil's own. I'm still working on Kid DAK for the moment, but rest assured the sweetest of wines takes time to age and perfect.