A case of mistaken identity

Before you is a hot chick. A hot chick from CHairforce.com I look at the website from work everyday when I should be working instead (unlike all those military people who read my blog from work, I actually stick to the less "controversial" websites since Uncle Sam tracks that stuff) and I always get a kick outta what people send in for jokes. Take case in point: The hot chick. Let's call her "Airman Hottie" for tonight's session. AIRMAN HOTTIE captured my lust from the moment I laid eyes on her. Holy shit amigos! No way could some chick THAT gorgeous be in the military (with the exception of RUCKUS and CRAZYGIRL) but she takes a shit like everyone else nonetheless. Dudes go crazy for hot chicks but I've learned that it's all about timing and of course, PERCEPTION. I go to our supply section to change out some equipment I have when I see this chick who resembles Airman Hottie. I swear - almost a complete fucking likeness, only more sun and the eyes are lighter blue. I start chatting her up to see what her angle is and whether or not THE MACHINE can get a piece of it. Hey fuckers I might be old, but goddammit my DICK still works just fine! And besides, I have a thing for girls in their early to mid-20's so I'm always on the prowl. Why else do you think I take college courses at night? To learn something? Fuck no! Anycase, I figure I'd chat her up to see what her M.O. was all about.... ...And it sure as shit wasn't about ME. Some black dude she knew called when I was talking (I know this because she said his name when telling her friend to take the message) since nobody in the 'hood names their kids "Peter" or "Walter". So right then and there I knew my chances of hooking up with this mega-babe had been significantly reduced (but not at zero all together just yet). She continues to process my order when I get the shit, trying to keep her entertained with small talk when I finally hit her with the question: WILL YOU MARRY ME? Huh? What? You'd think I'd say something SO FUCKING GAY AND SO FUCKING RETARDED like that? Fuck no! No. I asked her straight out if she knew about CHairforce and whether or not it was her pic of her faking the funk like some wanna-be ghetto rat. What is it with white people trying to be something they're not, even if it's in jest? Anycase she denied it straight out, however mentioned the name of some other chick she gets mistaken for quite frequently that could resemble Airman Hottie. So. Now that I have been armed with this ammunition, I will officially start THE QUEST FOR AIRMAN HOTTIE. I know you're all probably thinking that I've sunk to a new level of lowness, even for myself, but you know what I say to everyone? FUCK YOU! I'm doing this regardless! You all know how much I hate people generally speaking, so this means I have to leave my house at night and go to the nightclubs in hopes of bumping into this broad. This means I gotta keep my eyes peeled everywhere I go, with my Sony digital camera in hand, in case I do bump into her! I'll even do you morons a favor too - I'll take her photo with me drooling like the window lickers I take care of every day and possibly post it here - otherwise I'll share it with a select few whom I know I can trust. So there yah have it. Chances are she's not even here in Germany but I figure I might as well give it a shot. I just might meet someone in the process of this quest for the hottie grail and get LAID for a change, instead of jerking off in the basement while cutting myself with rusty barbed wire. Heh.