Crap Circles
Okay.
Some of you people out there believe in the recurring formation commonly known as CROP CIRCLES. Some people think they are the works of the angels, sent as a message from heaven above to reassure us that there is more to this life than meets the eye. Others view it as the direct opposite, as them being part of some grand deception by Lucifer and his fallen angels, echoing some kinda End Times bullshit phenomenon. Some people think it's the work of some kinda Earth Goddess while others believe it is the work of UFO aliens trying to communicate a higher level of consciousness and enlightenment through the use of symbolism and abstract ideas. Others are just skeptical all together and think it's the work of some pretty talented, albeit bored people with too much time on their hands.
Me personally I think it's the world government fucking with us from outer space, by testing new satellite plasma beam technology, as a means of perfecting it through the process of trial and error. Call it a hunch.
Anycase tonight's blog has nothing to do with those stupid fucking designs but it does have to do with something that I found today in my backyard. Much like the farmer who minds his own business, I go out to mow my lawn when I find
CRAP CIRCLES.
THE GODDAMNED NEIGHBOR'S CAT LEFT 4 CAT TURDS ON MY LAWN. Motherfucker! There are at least 2 cats that roam the street I live on, and figure I need to buy a BB gun and sit in wait for those little shits to come back on my lawn. I don't have any pets and there are no dogs in my neighborhood so I know it's process of elimination. Besides, THE PHANTOM SHITTER only strikes at work and does not know the whereabouts to where I reside.
Any case here's the proof I'm talking about:
As you can tell, I ran over the last one with the wheel of my lawnmower when I was alerted to the presence of cat turds within my immediate vicinity. Worse than stepping foot in a minefield, you get shit caught in between the treads of your boots and that smell ain't coming out for weeks. Damn.
So - ALL YOU FUCKING CAT LOVERS OUT THERE - NOW YOU KNOW WHY IT IS I HATE THEM.
Why can't they just go crap in a kindergarten sandbox like all the other cats instead?
Heh.
Some of you people out there believe in the recurring formation commonly known as CROP CIRCLES. Some people think they are the works of the angels, sent as a message from heaven above to reassure us that there is more to this life than meets the eye. Others view it as the direct opposite, as them being part of some grand deception by Lucifer and his fallen angels, echoing some kinda End Times bullshit phenomenon. Some people think it's the work of some kinda Earth Goddess while others believe it is the work of UFO aliens trying to communicate a higher level of consciousness and enlightenment through the use of symbolism and abstract ideas. Others are just skeptical all together and think it's the work of some pretty talented, albeit bored people with too much time on their hands.
Me personally I think it's the world government fucking with us from outer space, by testing new satellite plasma beam technology, as a means of perfecting it through the process of trial and error. Call it a hunch.
Anycase tonight's blog has nothing to do with those stupid fucking designs but it does have to do with something that I found today in my backyard. Much like the farmer who minds his own business, I go out to mow my lawn when I find
CRAP CIRCLES.
THE GODDAMNED NEIGHBOR'S CAT LEFT 4 CAT TURDS ON MY LAWN. Motherfucker! There are at least 2 cats that roam the street I live on, and figure I need to buy a BB gun and sit in wait for those little shits to come back on my lawn. I don't have any pets and there are no dogs in my neighborhood so I know it's process of elimination. Besides, THE PHANTOM SHITTER only strikes at work and does not know the whereabouts to where I reside.
Any case here's the proof I'm talking about:
As you can tell, I ran over the last one with the wheel of my lawnmower when I was alerted to the presence of cat turds within my immediate vicinity. Worse than stepping foot in a minefield, you get shit caught in between the treads of your boots and that smell ain't coming out for weeks. Damn.
So - ALL YOU FUCKING CAT LOVERS OUT THERE - NOW YOU KNOW WHY IT IS I HATE THEM.
Why can't they just go crap in a kindergarten sandbox like all the other cats instead?
Heh.
posted by Machine at 6:31 PM
2 Comments:
at least it wasn't my dog's crap that you ran into...you would have wondered if it was from a big foot...it definately requires the two hand scoop technique:)
It's good for the lawn, hater!
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