The Phantom Shitter
I shit thee not, there is a Phantom Shitter in my office, pun completely intended. Ever since I have been in Germany, someone with FOUL, ROTTEN ASS keeps taking a dump in the men's bathroom and they don't have the decency of a goddamned courtesy flush.
ASSHOLE!!
Jeezus fucking Christ, if you're going take a dump in a public place, the very least you can do is flush the commode the moment that load hits the water. Fuck. Or better yet if there's a WINDOW to open, open that goddamned thing and let some fresh air in for a change.
At first I thought it was some anonymous dude working in the same building as I was, or perhaps someone stopping through who had to make a pit stop, but this is happening on a daily basis! And then I even changed offices due to an internal power struggle, and the fucker followed me over!! There can't be a coinicidence that perhaps I just work with a group of people who love to eat and take nasty dumps all the time is there?
GODDAMN YOU PHANTOM SHITTER!! GO SHIT AT HOME INSTEAD!! I DON'T WANT TO SMELL YOUR RANCID POOPY JUICE ODORS WHEN I TAKE A WHIZZ!!! FUCK OFF AND FLUSH THE GODDAMNED COMMODE!!!!
If it truly is a spiritual entity causing all this mayhem, I will be forced but to exorcise this demon back to Hell from where it came from. Monday is Halloween and I will come to work as a defrocked priest and with Holy Water (read: air freshener), force this mist to do battle. I might turn green in the face or even get dizzy but I am convinced I will prevail!
Otherwise I am going to make signs and post them on each cubicle to render a courtesy flush ala Austin Powers style and hopefully solve the mystery of the Phantom Shitter - Scooby Doo style. Or maybe if I DO discover his identity, go PISS on his chair for befouling my senses or something. Who knows.
ASSHOLE!!
Jeezus fucking Christ, if you're going take a dump in a public place, the very least you can do is flush the commode the moment that load hits the water. Fuck. Or better yet if there's a WINDOW to open, open that goddamned thing and let some fresh air in for a change.
At first I thought it was some anonymous dude working in the same building as I was, or perhaps someone stopping through who had to make a pit stop, but this is happening on a daily basis! And then I even changed offices due to an internal power struggle, and the fucker followed me over!! There can't be a coinicidence that perhaps I just work with a group of people who love to eat and take nasty dumps all the time is there?
GODDAMN YOU PHANTOM SHITTER!! GO SHIT AT HOME INSTEAD!! I DON'T WANT TO SMELL YOUR RANCID POOPY JUICE ODORS WHEN I TAKE A WHIZZ!!! FUCK OFF AND FLUSH THE GODDAMNED COMMODE!!!!
If it truly is a spiritual entity causing all this mayhem, I will be forced but to exorcise this demon back to Hell from where it came from. Monday is Halloween and I will come to work as a defrocked priest and with Holy Water (read: air freshener), force this mist to do battle. I might turn green in the face or even get dizzy but I am convinced I will prevail!
Otherwise I am going to make signs and post them on each cubicle to render a courtesy flush ala Austin Powers style and hopefully solve the mystery of the Phantom Shitter - Scooby Doo style. Or maybe if I DO discover his identity, go PISS on his chair for befouling my senses or something. Who knows.
posted by Machine at 1:18 PM
1 Comments:
Nothing worse than a shitty water volcano that is aimed up at you:( Well, I think that having some one shit on you is worse.
Post a Comment
<< Home