Thanksgiving

Heh. Thanksgiving. Every year where you round up the family and make them sit pretty for a day that becomes decreasingly important as time goes by. When I was a kid I always hated Thanksgiving because the cooking turkey would always dry my sinuses out and give me a wicked sore throat and I would be sick for the rest of the week. Now since I no longer have a family, let alone a home to celebrate such bullshit activities of feigned importance, I look forward to it because it means I can sleep in late and I have 4 days to play video games all to myself. I will stock up this week on munchies and just camp out in front of the tube. I've bot a shit load of PlaySatan and X-Box games that need my attention so I'll be busy with that. But not to let Thanksgiving go entirely, I look forward to the office potlucks especially since it's one of the rare moments where I actually get a good home-cooked meal. My rule of thumb is that if it can't be nuked in the microwave for 5 minutes or less, then it's not worth bothering with and I will leave the cooking up to someone else that is willing to clean up the mess afterwards too. It's the few times of the year where I load up on turkey, ham, stuffing and dessert since I normally don't eat so fattening. I figure once or twice out of the year isn't going to kill me, so enjoy life a little I say. It's also the chance where I can be a TOTAL FUCKING CHEAPSKATE and bring in a bag of cookies or a bag of chips and say "Okay, eat up" and I'm completely resolved of any kind of clean-up. My office has 2 luncheons this week, back-to-back and this is my plan: buy a bag of Fig Newtons and since they come in those separate columns, open one up one day, and save the other column for the next day. My thinking is that with all this food, nobody is going to want to eat some crummy fig newtons and that way I can easily pocket whatever's left over for an afternoon snack! I spend like $2 bucks or something and I'm covered. Because the majority of my salary goes to my Roth and savings, whatever money I have left over after I pay the bills goes directly to my video game habit and I need to make every penny count! Besides I still get free internet porn so my need for a girlfriend is still out the window, although I could definitely use someone to cook and clean for me ~! So, this year will be spent no differently than any other year - I will truly give thanks for the 4 days I am allowed to do absolutely not a goddamned thing if I feel like it. Thanks alot, you fuckers! >:)