Overwhelmed

"You never used to be afraid of days like these, but now you're overwhelmed by your anxieties."

Paul McCartney, being old as balls, hits the nail on the head with this lyric. Watch the video.

What the fuck has happened to me to where I now have an overwhelming sense of dread? I mean with everything. Work, life, relationships, money, the future.

I now go through everyday not wanting to deal with whatever problems or responsibilities that I may have, be they big or small. I don't want to deal with the people I work with, customers, or any kind of requests that they might have. If I have to work, I don't want to be bothered with their bullshit. I haven't been happy with my employment situation for quite some time, and no matter how many different jobs I apply for, in the end, I'm right where I started. With corporations and Big Tech now worshiping AI like some false god, any form of employment, no matter how small, will be treasured, not just valued.

Speaking of Big Tech, I am sick of their shit too, especially Microsoft. Seems like they're constantly pushing updates that are unwanted and unnecessary. I'm convinced that it's all bloatware and spyware at this point, since they're doing everything to kill Windows 10 and force people to accept Windows 11. Nobody wants Windows 11. It's the Windows 8 of this decade. Even my X-Box One is doing another update as I type this. Why? All I do is watch You Tube and DVDs on the thing now; I can't remember the last time I used it for gaming. 

I do my best to stay off people's radars, and to go about my own daily business, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Even something as simple as going to the grocery store or having to wait in line for something becomes overly irritating and insufferable. I don't want to deal with people and their low-income behavior.

It's even getting to the point where I don't want to watch You Tube anymore because it's all draining and depressing as shit. Even videos that are fun and don't focus on the news or politics. I can't make this shit up.

Is this the symptom of a much deeper societal problem? Or is it just a byproduct of getting old? I mean, this blog had a much different tone 20 years ago compared to now. While I had no idea what to expect from the future, I sure as shit didn't expect what I'm experiencing now.

Perhaps it's a culmination of everything that has been going on for the past 10 - 15 years. Political Correctness, Cancel Culture, Me Too, Alphabet Poop and their pronouns, goddamned Democrats, Cooo-vid, and the fact that movies, video games, music, and television all suck. While individually, each part sucks in their own special way, but when combined together, it's all too much. It's the worst forms of mental illness manifesting itself as a whole on a daily basis. I'm not crazy, it's you who's fucking crazy, and I shouldn't have to deal with your bullshit mental problems. Your mental health problems are giving me mental health problems.

I can understand why Hikikomori is a phenomenon in Japan, and I'm surprised more people aren't practicing it. I'd gladly become a shut-in as well, if I didn't have bills to pay and people to support. I'm all too eager to, otherwise. Jerk off and play old video games all day. Fuck the Playstation 5 and X-Box Series X. Perhaps I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.

Heh.