El Superbeasto

Heh.

Throw in equal parts bad Groovy Ghoulies out-takes, rejected School House Rock Saturday morning cartoon songs, strippers, titties, zombie Nazis and more faux-Ebonics than you can shake an afro pick at and you have The Haunted World of El Superbeasto.

Lotsa cartoon titties.



Lotsa cartoon titties at that.



Rob Zombie does it once again.


I need to watch this next time when I'm drunk.


Heh.

Still Alive

I saw that damn cat that I ran over the other week.

The goddamned thing was just walking around like nothing happened. Bastard.

And there was another steaming cat turd pile on my front doorstep yesterday morning.

The fucker.

So all you goddamned animal rights activists can go fuck yourselves if you think that pets are undeserving of punishment when they do something wrong. Like the youth of our nation, they get away with far more than your pussy bleeding hearts will ever realize.

And speaking of pussy, I need to go fuck some of the two legged kind. Celibacy makes the Machine one mean motherfucker, on top of everything else going on.

Any sluts out there wanna take one for the team?

Heh.

Nein Nein Nein

So Happy September 9, 2009 all you loyal readers (aka Brookie) out there. My lame joke for the day is that if you say "Nine Nine Nine" it sounds like "Nein Nein Nein" in German which means "No No No". Stupid, but I made two bitches laugh today, one of them possibly interested in me.

In order to celebrate, all the dudes out there should give their sluts a Dirty Sanchez and all the broads out there need to give their dudes a steak and a blow job. Or a Blumpkin if you're too damn cheap to take your dude out for dinner at Sizzler.

Heh.

Damn Cats

Fucking what the hell is wrong with cats in Germany? Fucking Christ, I swear - twice now I've had some fuck-wit feline run out in front of my car as I'm trucking down the road doing anywhere between 70 - 100 kmh, like the fucking thing has a death wish or something. I felt bad about the first cat I ran over last year since I kinda had suspicion the thing would dart out in front of me at the last minute, but yesterday's episode just defies all explanation.

But....the way I see it, said kitty I mauled with my piece of German engineering yesterday was paying the price for his brethren - since I moved to my new house, there has been this gray and white cat that has been shitting on my front doorstep NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE BUT THREE TIMES GODDAMMIT. I wake up in the morning and step outside as I'm on my way to work and the fucking cat pile is there, freshly steaming with chunks of indescribable material comprising its stool. Mind you, I avoid most animals in the first place, so for said neighborhood cat to be shitting on my property like this is completely uncalled for - like getting sucker punched for minding my own business.

Anycase the cat yesterday ran off practically unscathed from under the carriage of my vehicle and has died of internal hemorraging for all I know. What I do know is that I'm going to start putting pseudo-Hello Kitty hash mark stickers on the side of my car the same way World War II pilots would create hash marks of the enemy planes that they downed. If anyone asks, I won't hesitate to explain what they are.


Damn cats.


Heh.