Army Dumb

I've been working for the Army now, as a contractor. My job is fairly simple - I answer phones, make appointments for doctors, and help soldiers with their medical exams. I work in a hospital. The work is cakewalk and I go home stress-free every day of the week. Life is great. The problem is that the joke about "Army Dumb" isn't a euphemism at all. It actually exists.

I figured that "Army Dumb" was always some tongue-in-cheek joke - you know - for that one idiot that everyone has heard about, but nobody has known or met in person. Or, it was some stupidly outrageous regulation that everyone has to adhere to (which is more commonplace than not). But rest assured, it's the real deal. Everyday I deal with half-wits and morons who can't barely string together a complete sentence in English without throwing in some twist somewhere - be it ghetto, trailer park, or barrio. For the most part it's enlisted who are semi-illiterate, however there have been some officers who have come into the office I work, and I wonder what fucking planet they're from as well. You give them simple instruction, and they look at you like you're crazy.

Perhaps the best part is when people call up, asking what to do for their medical exam. I politely tell them the instructions, but then they want to argue it. They ALWAYS want to fucking argue. Listen, shit head, you're not at Burger King, and you can't have it your way. Shut the fuck up, do as I say, and like Blockbuster Video, go home happy. It's not rocket science.

Army Dumb is no lie. Army Dumb comes from the ghetto, the trailer park, and the barrio. Considering where Uncle Scam does most of his recruiting, it doesn't surprise me one bit. I need to get a real job.

Heh.

KMFDM - Ave Maria

KMFDM - Ave Maria

KMFDM doing it again....this time, Ave Maria!!! Another new song from their forthcoming album!!

Click the link to experience yet another Ultra Heavy Beat by the best band in the world!!!!

Can KMFDM do no wrong?

Let's face it, they kick ass. PERIOD.

Your band sucks. PERIOD.

They've already released tour dates for Europe and the US. I'm gonna see if I can catch them either in Munich or London.

Heh.

Zhombie returns to Korea

For the 2 people out there who still read this blog, if you check back to my 2005 & 2006 entries, I wrote about some fuck-wit I know whom I call "Zhombie". Yes, Zhombie. That dumb-ass has finally made his way back to Korea, after being stuck for so long in a hell hole only known as Cannon Air Force Base, New Mexico. After being in Germany, Uncle Sam's sick fuck of a joke is to send people to these shit-holes back in the US, where the local population make those retards on Jersey Shore look civilized. If you don't believe me, just go visit the place, and breathe in the constant aroma of cow manure. You've been warned.

Anycase, Zhombie being back in Korea is kind of a nostalgic trip of sorts. His monkey-ass left there in 2001, and at that time, I'm convinced he didn't leave the base but perhaps once or twice. We went to see the Lord of the Rings part 1 in a Korean movie theater, where the place reeked of burnt cuttle fish and the seating was too small for big, macho American-sized asses. Although the movie was in English with Korean subtitles, you couldn't see what the hell was going on the screen, since the projector bulb was blown out and the camera lens was out of focus. It wasn't until I saw the movie again at the theater on Kunsan Air Base, did I see that the big blob chasing the little blobs were in reality an ogre chasing the Hobbits. Details, details.

I wanna get Zhombie hooked on soju while he is there, and I want him to start banging some gook pussy. Koreans are perhaps some of the rudest people I've ever met on the planet. Brash and abrasive, they don't give a fuck who they piss off. While the Germans get butt-hurt and sulk when you challenge them, the Koreans will get violent and want to throw down, 1950's style. You haven't lived until you've seen a Korean fist-fight - like two PSY wanna-be's punching the shit outta one another Elvis style. You can't help but to sit and watch! It's funnier when Korean women get pissed, because they go into somantics too. Loud, obnoxious, and the center of attention, even the most thugged-out hoochie mama hood rat would get a run for her money, when it comes to giving her man shit. Zhombie, never getting pussy on a normal basis, would put up with that shit so long as he could get a piece of that yellow trim. He'd be lucky to marry Songtan Sally and take in her 10 kids as his own. He could then become the mack daddy of Aragon Alley there outside the front gates of Osan, and sucker all the airmen into marrying Sally's relatives, while giving him the proverbial 60% cut. Hey, ho'ing GI's ain't easy, but it sure is fun.

I wonder what will happen to him in the span of a year. Knowing Z, he will most likely shift about aimlessly like Frankenstein on quaaludes, from work to the barracks and back. Absolutely no originality whatsoever. My stupid ass should take a hop over there and pay him a visit, just to get him in trouble with his commander. Sure it would suck having to fly all the way from Germany to Korea, but the story would be priceless.

Heh.