Souls

I jokingly told Brookie to sell her soul to me on Ebay the other day and poked fun at the concept by saying I would keep it in a jar on the bookshelf and control her like a zombie. From running errands for me (McDonald's run) to keeping me entertained (playing video games with me), she would be my own Frankenstein-Hottie to command and control. I don't think she found that amusing.

Anycase I'm off to an usual start this evening. I know it's a break from the whole Melanie drama I've blogged about this week so far, but it's nice to mix things up a little bit and get a change of pace.

Tonight's topic deals with Souls - we all have them, only we don't do anything with them. Some people say they're property of God while others say they're up for grabs, usually to the highest bidder. Sometimes the lowest if you just don't care what kind of mess you want yourself out of - any price will work.

I think your soul is the true representation of yourself, that nobody can deny exists. It's "you" in all your good and all your bad. Consider it to be a chalk board, and depending what you put on it, you will become as time goes by. Do good things for yourself, family and the community and it will react a certain way. Do bad things like lie, cheat, and steal, and it will react differently. In return, the status of your soul reflects the karma you're currently reaping as well as the karma you save up for future events. Karma is more so a balancing act than a system of rewards and punishments, but that's an entirely different blog spot all together. Let's just stick with the already said topic and run with it.

Ultimately what powers any diety, any messiah or prophet is the power of belief. The power of belief from their followers. Their followers have souls, so in essence their souls are the core of their power. That is why books like the Bible tell people that faith without works is dead. Works depends on how strongly someone believes in something, which is backed up by energy. No energy, no faith. No faith, no works, no souls.

No souls, no power.

See what a dilemma this is for an up-and-coming demigod? Right now Jesus, Allah, Vishnu, and the Buddha all have to battle it out just to get your attention, and sell you the best set of medicine they can. Only if you're like me, you don't need medicine or want it for that matter. You're doing okay for the most part. Go with what life gives yah and make the most of it.

That doesn't rest well when power is your ultimate goal. People like me are dangerous in the grand scheme of things. Because we choose NOT to believe, we're robbing whatever Justice League Friend of their special powers to continue existing. In turn they have less wattage than the other Justice League Friend they're trying to out-shine. They get pissed and usually dispatch one of their emissaries out in hopes to convert you. Jehovah's Witness, suicide bomber, Pat Robertson, etc. It's all about control.

Some people get way into the whole vampire thing - they think that sucking blood and running around like Bella Lugosi will somehow magically make them superior over the common person. While blood does hold key ingredients for power, it alone isn't enough to get the job done. You need the karma points to go along with them. That's why God in the Old Testament demanded a blood sacrifice in addition to atonement for sins from the Israelites. But again, I'm getting side-tracked. To devour blood is one thing, but to devour someone's soul is another. To gain instantaneous power permanently. My, what a concept.

I don't think such a thing is possible, just from my involvement in the occult, however the books, scrolls, and tomes of old are merely just a glimpse of what the supernatural holds in store. While there are psychic vampires present (usually someone like Melanie for example), they feed off your energy more so than outright gutting you on the spot. They don't want to scare off any other potential game. Considering these human parasites don't get struck down by lightning goes to show that the Justice League Friends are content sharing for the time being.

I would gladly trade in souls if I could. If there was a way to harness that energy I know I would definitely make a killing. Pun completely intended. I would buy low, sell high just like the Jews on Wall Street do, only to whatever god or goddess or devil that would give me top dollar. Certain souls I would keep for my own benefit, and put to whatever use I could think of. From playing winning Lotto numbers to getting a better house, I would squeeze every last drop of karma I could out of my collection of "nuggets". The beauty about it all is people will always fuck, they will always reproduce, and they will always tax our natural resources. So go to some of the overpopulated areas of the world like Korea, Japan, and China, and just let 'er rip. Come to think of it, since the Black Community has "soul", I wonder if I should start their first?

Bootsy Collins has always been a fave of mine.

Anger

Now believe it or not, I'm actually a mellow person. While something might piss me off, it is truly rare that I actually have hate for someone or something. I know, quite contradicting considering the fact I wanna run over everybody with a black rusted van, and want to find a woman for rough sex, but stuff like that is more routine maintenance on my part, than it is actual negative energy. Please allow me to clarify the issue.

For me to really hate someone or something, I have to be enraged. I have to be so angry with a situation or someone that all I see is red in my eyes, and will stop at nothing to see this person suffer. I used to feel that all the time when I was in my 20's, but now that I am at the ripe old age of 33, I've learned just to say "Fuck it" and accept life for what it is. I even go so far to laugh now when something so stupid gets under my skin, it's not worth devoting the time and energy to getting incensed. From bullshit rules in the military to minorities screaming that Whitey is the Devil, laughter is a much more effective weapon against my enemies. You can't go to jail for a "laugh crime".

Well, I've mentioned a little bit about Melanie here on my Blog Spot but she serves as a perfect example of how Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Like her idiot friend Andrea, Melanie is essentially a sweet girl that has alot to offer the right guy. She's very pretty, a hard worker, and has moments where she's considerate and thinks of other people. Her and I also connect on a deeper level on alot of what Life has handed to us, which is why we have this fucked-up father/daughter - potential boyfriend/girlfriend thing going between us. Unfortunately she has a perpetual dark cloud over her at all times, with little lightning bolts and continual rain pouring on her head. To say she's a real downer is an understatement. Still, I've gone the mile with her time and again, putting up with her bullshit when the majority of friends would've told her to get a fucking grip and keep it.

Well, Melanie hates men, due to the situations she puts herself in. Many times she gets drunk and throws herself on whatever swinging dick is horny and is paying her some attention. While she wants someone to hold her and romance her, he's thinking about banging her 9 ways from Sunday and shooting his wad all over her face. After she sobers up, she realizes what a dumb twat she's been the entire time and gets upset at the guy for getting a free piece of ass and then going about his business. While I try to explain to her it's all cause and effect, she thinks some how that God is punishing her for all the shit she did when she was a teen-ager. Really immature shit.

Because she has become the dumping ground of so many men's unwanted sperm, this cum-receptacle has gone on a "penis embargo" (her words, not mine) and vows to rid herself of the male race. At least until the weekend when she gets shit-faced yet again and history repeats itself. She carries on all day at work how much she hates men, and how she hates this and that, and even says how much she hates the fact I am never serious around her. One time I even told her "Why should I be? You take me seriously enough, so why should I take myself serious? You're doing a good job for the both of us!" and pissed her off to no end.

Melanie also has the uncanny talent for speaking before thinking. I suppose since she's still young (she's 22 years old), it's common for people in this age group to not worry about the consequences of their actions. She just lets her emotion take control of her and run wild. Usually she goes on a rant about something stupid and I end up laughing at her because what she says does sound stupid! I mean fucking retarded! And that pisses her off even more. I tease her how she's going to become a vegan femin-nazi, shave her head like Sinead O'Connor, wear flanel shirts and Chic Jeans. She's going to become a diesel-dyke lesbian, join N.O.W. and march on Capitol Hill demanding women's rights. As back-woods and religious as she claims to be, she says this will never happen. Right.

I laugh at her because I learned along time ago she rants and bitches about every little thing in her life, just because she can. And she's even told me how much she enjoys doing it too. Perhaps if she weren't so pessimistic and had something positive to contribute every once in a while, I'd go easy on the girl. But as much as she harps about equal rights, I'm going to treat her like "one of the guys" until she learns to shut the fuck up and smile some!

Lately she's been doing better though. She hasn't been giving me as much lip when I tell her to do something. It used to be she wanted to run the show but doesn't realize it's not her ass that will get reamed if something ends up going horribly wrong. I keep telling her this, but the blonde idiot just doesn't get it. She was bitching at me again today about how she wants someone to "trust" the work she does and not get any static when she makes a mistake, and I point it out to her constructively. "Well get promoted" I told her. That pissed her off even more, which in turn made me laugh even more. Cause and effect.

But the biggest thing she bitches at me about is how controlling I am. "You're just like my father! He's 65 years old and he has to have things his way! I never win with him and I never win with you!" Even writing this I am laughing to myself because she villanizes me for her insecurities. Ask everyone else I work with and they think I'm too laid back. And I agree with them completely.

Really, you have to be there to see it. What I am typing here does a serious injustice to the actual events that take place. If I were to sit down and really think about all the little things she bitches about, I'd probably die from laughing so hard. Maybe one day she'll get it right.

Demons

I am convinced that Demons are just as real as the air we breathe, the ground we walk on, and the lives we live. I am disappointed we don't see more of them in our daily lives.

Instead, humanity takes the credit for some of the most fucked up events in history. From leaders like Genghis Khan to Josef Stalin and Idi Amin, the human race takes credit for mass genocide inflicted upon itself. When something like the tsunami that wiped out a good portion of Malaysia hit last year, it was called an act of God. Any time a natural disaster happens, people call it an act of God or an act of Nature. Very rarely does someone say "Oh wow, Satan kicked our ass with that last hurricane". With people like Torquemada and Charlemagne killing in the name of religion, it's pretty hard to for any other outside competition to exist, be it Demon, UFO Aliens, etc.

So where do Demons fit in?

I suppose some people think it would be more mundane. Domestic abuse, substance addiction, gambling and sexual perversities could be lumped into this category by most religious people, but often times these conditions are reversible - through therapy or some kind of medication. If you were to listen to someone like Pat Robertson or Benny Hinn, you'd be convinced that the majority of the human race is possessed like Linda Blair from The Exorcist. I don't think that's the case either.

After much consideration and reflecting on some previous experiences I've had, I've come to the conclusion they avoid us as much as we avoid them. Their agenda is completely unknown to us, despite what some vague reference in the Book of Revelations may have you believe. Unless you actively do something to get their attention, they're going to ignore you for the most part, and even then they may not listen to you unless you have something worth bargaining with.

Trust me on this one.

While I'm not going to give away any "trade secrets", I will say that it's alot easier to get in "contact" with one than you could possibly imagine.

The rest is up to you.

Melanie and the Passover Chicken

Okay.

Melanie and her bitch friends stayed pissed at me for a good portion of the morning until they decided to start talking to me again. They were upset that I wanted to make comments during a church sermon, even though people would sing and talk and do whatever the fuck it is they were doing - it was just that I couldn't do it. Fucking hypocrites. Whatever. Like you fucking bitches were the cream of the crop. One of them said to me today "You wouldn't talk during a movie would you?" to which I replied "That's different - YOU PAID MONEY TO SEE THAT". I never saw Maggie get so pissed when I told her that, either. "I need to leave the room before I say anything else!" and she stormed off. Ha ha.

Anycase, this will probably be the first and last time I'm ever invited to attend services with Melanie. That's fine. I still talk to her at work either way, and she always tells me something personal that she doesn't share with most people, so I know we're still cool like that.

Andrea on the other hand is becoming a royal cunt, and for reasons I can't seem to imagine. Is it because she's about to pin on another stripe and the rank is going to her head? Who the fuck knows. What I do know is to avoid her like the fucking plague if she's going to go from Zero to Bitch in under 5 seconds if I say something that I percieve as being harmless. A shame too, considering I like her as a friend.

Oh well. That's Life.

Anycase, how many people here know about the Passover Chicken? I heard about the Passover Chicken many years ago as a teen-ager on a Boy Scout camping trip. It was Easter vacation and we were fucking around in Death Valley, do a cycling trip. It was pretty fucking cool, now I think about it. At the time it really sucked but whatever. The Jewish kids were celebrating Passover and were eating their Heeb food, talking their Yiddish talk with their Oi vey and what not. Me growing up in a predominantly WASP household, had no idea what the fuck a Matzoh ball was or what the fuck Manishewitz was or any of the other shit these people were eating. The only thing I knew about the fucking Jews was from watching Mel Brooks movies, and the jack-ass somantics these kids would pull off when their parents weren't looking. I asked them what the fuck they were eating and they offered me some. So, I tried some Matzoh Ball soup and after taking a bite, discovered I will never convert to Judaism, even if through some fluke I'm related to fucking Moses himself. It was the most bland, tasteless piece of ethnic food I had ever eaten. Just not happening.

So I asked them "Well if the Jews don't celebrate Easter, what do they celebrate?"

"We celebrate Passover, you stupid fucking goyim."

"What the fuck is that?"

"It's when we celebrate our people's freedom from when the Egyptians enslaved us so many years ago. It goes for 8 days and 8 nights."

"So what the fuck do you have for a pet? Christians have the Easter Bunny - what do you guys have instead?"

"We have the Passover Chicken!"

"Oh Jeezus Christ. A fucking Passover Chicken? What the fuck does he do?"

"He goes around and gives matzoh balls instead of Easter eggs and candy to all the Jewish boys and girls. And he makes sure to wear a scarf too so he doesn't catch cold."

"You're kidding."

"No you stupid shmuck, we're being totally serious."

Obviously these kids were full of shit telling me this story, but the whole fucking thing was so amusing I had to laugh. Where do people think up this kinda shit?

Since then for some reason that story has stuck with me. Perhaps it's my retarded sense of humor that keeps the whole thing going. Hell, maybe I should market a Passover Chicken doll or perhaps a Kwanzaa Gorilla doll (oh the irony in that one) that would be a knock-off of the Grape Ape cartoon character. Either way I could beat the Jews at their own game of making money and buy out the corporate media they operate. Nothing but hard core porn and Comedy Central when I rule the world!

But back to Melanie - perhaps I'll post something in a day or so regarding my relationship with her and how the whole fucking thing has been one big disappointment. I suppose it's no different from married life when you can't get the whole "Friends with Benefits" thing going.

Either way I still have to put up with her shit.

Death Metal Easter Part 2

So I had about 5 beers in me and had been watching South Park before I recieved the knock on the door to go to church. I figure if I was going to deal with the whole weepy Easter Sunday crowd, I need something to take the edge off, and what better way than to drink some Amstel Light while watching Cartman rip on some Jews? The perfect solution for the upcoming hour and a half.

Melanie and the girls looked fine. I made sure I looked very nice too. I was wearing a black collared shirt with some kind of palm tree-looking design, olive drab Dockers and black low quarters, with my hair spiked. I also had my Thor's Hammer necklace visibly around my neck with my pentagram tucked beneath my shirt. No way was I going to let that baby become exposed. I figure with the Thor's Hammer I was paying homage to my ancestors that suffered persecution under the Roman Empire's canonization of Pagan Europe. It was also a reminder to the few Christians (if any) that truly understand their holiday is a "borrowed" holiday, based on the Spring Equinox. That's why Easter falls on a different month every year. But I wasn't going to cause a scene with my friends.

Slowly people started filling in and this one girl I tried slapping skins with is sitting in front of me with her supervisor, a few pews ahead. As a joke, one of Melanie's friends, Andrea, says to me "Oh there's your favorite woman! Why don't you go sit with her?" to which I reply "What? And forsake my affection for Melanie?" in a half-joking manner. That pissed her off. Apparently my humor doesn't go over well in church despite the fact I am sitting in back with the sinners, not saying anything remotely blasphemous.

Well the sermon was the usual story about Jesus rising from the dead and how people shouldn't give in to their doubts. It was an uplifting message to the people who truly needed to hear it, and to Melanie as well. The preacher hit on a few things that I've been telling her all this time (ironically enough) about not being so pessimistic and being more upbeat about things. Well her idiot friend again gets pissed again when I lean over and give her a big cheesey smile. She also got pissed when I wanted to share her Bible with her and was a royal fucking cunt the entire evening.

But the best part came after the sermon just as everybody was leaving. "You're such an ass" she said to me "You need to watch your comments about Melanie. You don't need to give her all sorts of shit because she's not talking to you at work."

I looked at her somewhat stunned that she would say something like that in front of some total strangers, however given the caliber of Melanie's friends, it doesn't surprise me. Andrea has always been on the shallow end of the gene pool from what I gather. But why call me out on some imagined bullshit outside the church doors for everyone to hear? Jeezus Fucking Christ! Have some discretion!

"Look, I was joking when I said that earlier tonight because you told me to go sit with Ashley. I say stuff like that all the time."

"Bullshit you weren't joking! You meant what you were saying."

"Listen you don't know the discussions Melanie and I have, so you need to get your facts straight."

"Well even if you were joking, it could appear to be inappropriate to someone looking in."

I hesitated for a moment and thought about where this could go, and how things were looking. If anything, I don't want to dig myself a hole in front of these morons.

"You're right about that, but you and I know that's not the case. But still, I appreciate you kindly reminding me. Thank you."

I can only imagine what the Jeezus freaks were thinking what had taken place between this half-wit and myself. I didn't want to create a scene, so I just diffused things quickly and on the spot. Like Hell if I'm going to let some fucking cunt ruin my career, just because she's PMS'ing or whatever. Forget about the whole thing and never bring it up again, that's the best way to go about it.

I've dealt with some real assholes in my time - from my first supervisor to the religious asshole that tried tacking me with a Human Relations complaint when I worked in DC to this current idiot. The problem is a fuck-wit will always be a fuck-wit, and Andrea is no exception to the rule. I figure with 90-some-odd days left in this backwater shit hole, just play it cool around her and let things be. No need to throw away all the hard work I've done keeping myself out of trouble this long.

Melanie finally came out and I told her I was glad to see she got some answers she needed to hear, to which she replied "Those answers were for you".

Uh, no.

"I invited you to church in hopes you'd change your mind about God and religion."

"I came simply because you asked me to attend."

"Well you needed to hear that more than I did."

"..........."

Instead of causing another scene just right after the stupid debate with Andrea, I would just shut the fuck up and call it an evening.

"I need to go home and do some laundry." I said, which is true. I have laundry that needs to be folded and put away. From there I excused myself despite the fact my blood was still boiling from dealing with Andrea.

You know, I am reluctant to cast stones at the Christians and reluctant to cast stones at friends when they decide to call me on some shit, either real or imagined. I would like to think at the very least I listen to what they have to say before I react or say something. But if tonight was an indication of the bullshit that's in store for me with these girls, then I'll just shut the fuck up and not say another goddamned thing to them until I leave this place. I'll be friendly and courteous but I won't engage them or entertain their stupidity. Sorry but no piece of pussy is worth that bullshit. I'll stick to internet porn and my imagination if that's what it takes. Better safe than sorry.

So, knowing how Andrea reacts and runs her mouth and how Melanie can't hold her fucking tongue, I'll consider her to be off-limits until such the time presents itself that I believe it's safe again to try getting a booty-call outta her. This place is a fucking fish bowl (more like a shark tank) and that's bad enough.

On a lighter note, I did see some other hot chicks I wouldn't mind getting to know better. But as always, I will approach with caution since all it takes is just one stupid cunt to scream "rape" or "sexual harassment" before the whole damn thing comes crashing down and you have every dickhead up your ass and breathing down your collar wanting to make an example out of you. I swear, every time I return here, I shave 5 years off my life in one way or another.

Happy Fucking Easter you assholes.

Death Metal Easter

So, I have agreed to go with Melanie to church for Easter service this evening. The only reason why I'm doing this is in hopes she'll let me bang the hell outta her at least once before she leaves this place for good. But the chances of that happening are like the chances of me having any chance of a normal life. It just ain't happening. Still, I am going because she asked me kindly and it won't hurt me to behave for about an hour or so.

I've had a thing for her for quite some time now, although she just doesn't see it. I've made suggestions to her in the past about spending time together, however she would have nothing to do with me outside of work. Instead she'd rather go fuck some filthy Mexican asshole that treated her like shit after a one-night stand, or bitch about how the last dude she got involved with didn't want to play her games and called her on it. In this environment, you take what you can get. I've seen fat ugly bitches have guys chase them on a Friday/Saturday night, where they wouldn't get a second look in the States. And the fact I haven't been laid in well over a year has me seriously scratching at the walls for any piece of ass I can get. Desperate yes, but do a mile in my shoes sometime before you start laughing or pass judgment. I thought so.

It's not the fact I have to continually listen to her bullshit how she hates men and how her life is so fucked up that bothers me. It's the fact I have nursed her wounded ego the majority of the time we've been together and the dumb bitch just doesn't get it. Even on a strictly platonic level, I would like to think she would be somewhat receptive and return the favor by showing some consideration. For instance, she could so something nice like getting me the latest copy of Revolver magazine when she saw it at the magazine stand. She knows how much I love Death Metal and Revolver only costs $5 a copy. It's NOT going to break her fucking bank to get me the newest issue. Or even if she didn't have the money, at the very least say "Machine, I saw the new Revolver on sale - you may wanna pick it up during lunch". It's the thought that counts.

Well, because she asked me to attend Easter Service with her, I agreed. It's what friends do. Friends do things for friends even if they don't want to or disagree with what that friend likes. I did it yesterday when a co-worker asked me to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn and go to the gym with him, on account he needs the motivation. Knowing how difficult it can be at times to get myself motivated, I agreed despite wanting to sleep in and get some much needed rest. It's the principle of the matter. I would hope someone that considers themselves to be my "friend" would do the same for me too.

I plan on wearing something nice to the service, but will drink about 3 or 4 beers before we set out. I also have my Satanic pentagram that I haven't worn in a while that could use a good dusting and be worn ever so discreetly beneath my shirt. I'm not looking to start anything but by the same token I'm not going to compromise my personal beliefs either. Instead, I will show TOLERANCE to these assholes by showing them I don't take offense to their banter. I would do the same for any Jewish friend or Buddhist friend if they asked, just to set things straight.

I told Melanie as a joke to get me a Death Metal Easter basket - since the new Sony PSP came out, she can put one of those in there, along with a copy of Revolver magazine, the new Black Label Society CD that just released, some jelly beans and those awesome Cadbury Creme eggs. Well the blonde idiot just looked at me and fussed where she would get the money to buy all of this from. I told her that wasn't my problem. I also told a few other girls to do the same although they won't do it either. The icing on the cake came when I told her to buy me the shirt that says "Cancel Easter - They Found the Body" - I thought I was going to get hurt.

Yes, I am going to Hell.


I could use the company.




More after I return!

Knives

The older I become, the more interested I become in knives and assorted cutlery. Pocket knives, meat cleavers, claymore swords and Japanese katanas. For some reason I find a strange affinity for them.

While I share a growing affection for firearms and muscle cars, those are in a completely separate category from knives. Knives are more personal than the other two. While an M1911 or the new XM-8 has its appeal, a knife is something you keep on your person at all times. Perhaps it is something in the collective conscience that goes back to the first man that discovered sharpened metal was more durable than a sharpened stick and not as weighty as a sharpened stone - the assurity of higher knowledge combined with the primal instinct for protection. Knives and swords have been around for millenia, whereas firearms have been around at best for the past 600 years. Quite the comparison when compared to the history of the world.

I carry an aircrew knife on my person for the most part. It is styled after the same knife that military aviators are reknowned for using when they are using their survival skills in the wilderness. I also have a 10 inch black survival knife with serated edges towards the hilt which I have affectionately named Langrisser (Lung Ripper), a matching katana and short sword set named Divine Retribution and Morning Glory, a small pocket knife with serated blade that was given to me as a birthday gift by a former girlfriend, and a black boot-knife which rarely leaves my bed. I keep it beneath my pillow for the "uninvited guest".

Eventually I would like to own a replica Claymore, with ornate Celtic designs on the hilt, as tribute to my European ancestry. While I know little about Viking heritage, I know they sowed their wild oats throughout England and mainland Europe, so it stands to reason their artisans were influential on Teutonic, Aryan, and Norman culture. I will always share a love for the Japanese Samurai and the Edo period, however the Old World shares an equal abundance of beauty in weaponry that shouldn't go unappreciated.

When I get to Europe in the next few months, I will look around to see what's available. I may stick to Stateside merchants due to pricing and language concerns, however if I see something I like, I will gladly add it to my growing collection. I just hope I can clear it all through Customs!

Nothing

Today has been rather mundane.

Had to go into work and do some stupid shit.

The fucking assholes I work for have nothing better to do with their time than keep tabs on people like me. I would love to run them over with the black rusted van.

I could really use a good night's sleep.

Rest, actually.

And I could use a good lay right about now too.

I suppose there are just some things that are unattainable, no matter where you go. Perhaps it's time to cash in some karma? It's been a while since I've "negotiated".

But I am reluctant to do so on the Easter Weekend. I would like to think the longer I go without doing "negotiating", I am actually restoring the natural balance to my life. Remember, you trade one thing in exchange for another. It's just the way things operate.

When I sleep I dream I can fly.

The next 48 hours should be interesting.

The Night Stalker

I've always had a fascination with Richard Ramirez, aka the "Night Stalker". He was by far the most memorable serial killer from the 1980's - at least to me. Growing up in Southern California, his exploits were plastered all over the nightly news until they finally caught him in 1986. He went to trial in 1989 and recieved a life imprisonment sentence. He aptly got his name from the AC/DC song entitled "Night Prowler", when the LAPD discovered his AC/DC baseball cap accidentally left behind at one of the crime scenes, only the media puppets got it wrong and the name "Night Stalker" stuck instead.

He would do bold, fucked-up things to his victims. Rip their eyes right out of their sockets was his trademark. If there was a man in the room, he would first mortally wound him and then make him watch while he forced himself on the female victim. They would both die, of course, but not before he had his fun. His trademark catch-phrase was "Say you love Satan" as he would pin his prey down, holding a knife to their face. He primarily stuck to the hispanic community, with the police doing little to stop his efforts until a white woman was killed. Then the dragnet hit.

But that's not what fascinates me about him. Not the fact he held the city of L.A. in his grip for the summer of 1985, but what he did in court. He would get the media's attention by doing things like drawing a Satanic pentagram on the palm of his hand and flash a cheesey smile to the camera as he revealed it to the world to see. He would mouth the words "Evil, evil, evil" to the camera crew filming the proceedings. I think what really made the icing on the cake was his reaction to the death-sentence that was pronounced by the judge, on behalf of the jury - "Big deal. Death comes with the territory. See you at Disneyland". Now THAT'S priceless. Mastercard can't touch that.

Unlike some other serial killers, Richard Ramirez has never once shown any remorse for the victims he killed nor for their families. Unlike Sam Berkowicz, he hasn't "found" Jesus while being imprisoned in San Quentin, nor has he been bludgeoned to death with a mop handle like Jeffrey Dahmer was. Instead, Richard has gone the course and has stuck to his guns through all the criticism and hardships of prison life. He corresponded with a woman and is now legally married to her although they haven't consumated their marriage. I don't think maximum security prisons allow conjugal visits. I'm thinking it's for tax purposes or something.

Richard Ramirez pales in comparison to history's greats like Vlad Tepes, Elizabeth Bathory, and Josef Stalin. Unlike those historical figures, he probably won't become immortalized in the "bad guy club of all time", when compared with Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler, and Idi Amin. Still, he has left his mark in contemporary society as well as everyone that grew up in that time period.

Normal People

I wonder how it is normal people function.

People that are content with going along with whatever society tells them is socially acceptable. Back in the 1950's it was something as benign as not chewing gum in class, or having good table manners. My how times have changed.

I will always be that person who lives on the fringe of society. Too weird to be normal, but too normal to be weird. I live by my own set of ethics and standards. I believe whatever I like and don't care about majority opinion. I am a walking contradiction in every sense of the term.

How do the beautiful people operate? I lump them into the same category as the normal people are since they set standards and define trends, but the difference is they have money and sex appeal where the majority of normal people don't. How did they become such assholes and so shallow? By all accounts, the world revolves around them. They are the center of our universe.

But not mine.

I would rather throw one of the beautiful people off the Brooklyn Bridge than kiss their ass and take their bullshit, just to put money in my pocket. I could care less about the mainstream currents that normal people get wrapped up in. Today's music and fashion sucks, and frankly would love to run over every Eminem wanna-be and Fly-Girl with a Monster 4x4. Line them all up on I-95 and block traffic just for me. Or better yet, get the JFK Stadium in Washington DC, gather them all in there and lock the doors. I'd leave a puddle of blood 4 feet deep by the time I was through.

And then send their families the bill to have the truck cleaned.

Prison Blogs

So do prison inmates ever get to blog?

Keep a live journal for all to read?

For example: "Today I knocked the shit outta that Messican asshole that's been talking shit about my mom all week. Tiny was his name. Some fat fuck he was. When his Essay's weren't looking, I clocked that fucker in the mouth so hard he was spitting blood and teeth for 5 minutes. He fell like a ton of bricks and started crying like a little bitch. Maybe now the little shit will shut the fuck up unless he means it. That asshole warden knocked the shit outta me with his baton before dragging me into solitary. Those fucking things hurt.

Gonna fuck the old lady this weekend on the conjugal visit. Fucking slut. I know she's fucking the guy across the street while I'm in this shit hole. She comes less and less to see me. Her bullshit excuse is she doesn't want the kids to see their dad this way. She lies. She sucks that greaseball's cock every night while I'm in here rotting away, and then has the nerve to want to kiss me after we get done fucking. I'm going to find that worthless shit when I get outta here on parole and knock his teeth in too.

Talking to the prison guard, I think he can arrange it to where I can score some drugs this weekend. I just need to do him a "favor". Apparently his boss the warden is more of a prick to him than he is to us inmates, and needs someone to teach him a lesson. I can talk with Juggernaut and see if he'll agree to it. He's a Lifer and is in for First Degree Murder, and is eager to use the new shiv he made. We'll set something up tomorrow night, right after dinner. Security is the least then."

Of course what I've written is just the over-active imagination of yours truly, but could you imagine the ratings these things could generate if the corporations sponsored certain inmates? I could see it now:

Richie-Bitch CEO: "Oh thay Puma - how would you like to be paid $75,000 upon your releath from thisth prison with all these big mean brutesth if you were to keep an on-line blog and sthar in our weekly reality TV theries? The more mean and scary you are, the higher the ratings will be! Of courthe, a thertain segment of the viewersth would want to hear about those awful shower sthories that take place, IN GREAT DETAIL ~ ! And if you behave REAL NAUGHTY, we throw in an extra $25,000 during the sthweeps week and sthteal that 10 share on the Nielssen ratings! Then there are the royalties that come after you've been released. Guest appearance on Oprah and Sthally, as well as the book deal commemorating your sthay in Carnate Island Correctional Facility. We're talking big time sthales! Okay honey? Trevor, the errand-boy, is working thomething out with that thilly warden so we can set up the cameras and sthart filming right away. What do you thay?"

Puma: "Shit. Hook a brutha up."

In the mad-grab for TV ratings, I can see this becoming the new sensation in only a matter of time. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but in time people will hunger for blood just like the Romans did so many centuries ago. Networks like CBS, ABC, and NBC will have a team of serpent-tongued lawyers that will twist the laws around to their favor and make this permissible, and in turn will attempt to out-do one another for shock value.




Jeezus. I seriously need a life.

Why I hate Hip Hop

For the last 8+ months, I've had to deal with the assholes and retards that inhabit this chunk of backwater known as Kunsan Korea. Aside from the ridiculous rules that have been thrown on us all, we have to live with one another in the barracks - dorm style buildings that resemble more of a walk-in morgue than someone's actual living quarters. Perhaps that's too harsh - perhaps prison block would be better descriptive - but that's not the point I'm trying to make.

The asshole that lives directly above me in the barracks is a black guy in his 30's that I have to work with at the day job. While him and I get along for the most part, it's his goddamned rap music I have issues with, especially when it comes blaring through my ceiling at 3:30 in the goddamned morning on a work night. While I've confronted him countless times about turning his shit down (along with most everyone else), this fuck-wit just fails to grasp the concept that not everybody appreciates his taste in music.

I hate hip-hop because it's unimaginative and annoying as fuck. Instead of requiring some real talent to perform, some sawed-off street thug is handed a microphone and mutters something unintelligible to a looping beat in the background. Usually it's about some stupid about growing up in the hood, or how much he hates Whitey, but for whatever reason it catches like wildfire and next thing you know, every person of "ethnic" background and wanna-be wigger can be heard blasting this shit within a 500 yard radius easy. If not in the barracks, it's in their car, or even worse at stores like Best Buy or Circuit City.

Just like that annoying raver music, hip-hop can be formulated down to a simple series of repeated sounds. Include samples from a previously known-song from 10-15 years ago, an obnoxious bass stereo beat, and a liberal use of the "n" word. Give a shout-out to your "peeps" and tell them to continue "the fight", and then stand around and wait to get promoted on the Dave Chappelle Show. It's that simple. Number 1 material for the idiot mainstream masses to consume, while real talent continues to go unappreciated. What's even worse is this breeds more wanna-be's thinking they'll be the next "big" thing with a #1 hit, and the way the music industry has been going, chances are they will be, and all thanks to the idiot DJ spinning this guy's record.

Ultimately it's the fault of the DJ - if he didn't play this shitty crunk music at night clubs and other social gatherings, we wouldn't have assholes running around in their "bling" and trying to "shizzle" their "nizzle". We wouldn't have every fat kid and white girl faking the funk and trying to be something they're not. I say put the DJ out of business and there's 90% of your solution right there. It happened to Heavy Metal back in the 80's and it can happen to Hip-Hop today as well. Then maybe I'll finally get a good night's sleep.

Palm Sunday

Q: What do bachelor's call Valentine's Day?

A: Palm Sunday!

When I was a little kid I suppose this kinda thing mattered to me. Now that I've been on my own for quite some time, it's just another day. I remember my mom making me get dressed up for church and having to suffer through some stupid sermon, while being told to shut up and sit still. I wanted to go play outside instead. The cool thing is afterwards they had free donuts and punch. I would get on a sugar high and then go bully some of the smaller kids in order to burn off that energy.

I'm disappointed with Easter now and all the other Christian holidays that have been rooted in Pagan heritage. Aside from being grossly commercialized beyond all conventional standards, they still refuse to cross the threshold and make an S&M Easter Bunny. Or a Satanic Easter Wolf that tears up the Easter Bunny and all the baby chicks you see on those Hallmark greeting cards. I even thought of the perfect card for that too. An idyllic Easter scene on the front of the card, containing bunnies, chicks, baskets and Easter eggs, until you open the inside and the Satanic Easter Wolf with an inverted pentagram between its eyes has massacred the lot. Body parts are strewn everywhere, Easter baskets have been smashed, and the eggs broken wide open. He's standing amidst the chaos caked in blood, with the look of demonic possession in its eyes. The winning caption would read "The Easter Bunny called in sick this year, so I had to fill in".

This card would be a real hoot.

Black Rusted Van

I would love to drive a black rusted van that doesn't have any windows in the back, and has a mattress in the back instead. I would hide out in obscure camping grounds in the mountains and come into town every once in a while to pick up a run-away hitch hiker and bang her brains out while listening to Slayer on cassette tape. Fun would consist of eating beef jerky and drinking beer by an open fire, and pissing on all those annoying goddamned squirrels that get into the garbage cans and make a mess everywhere they go. I'd keep a loaded 9mm as a sidearm for the unsavory types that would threaten my person, as well as a 12 gauge handy. The 12 gauge would be for any bears that crept on me while I was taking a shit in the woods. Smokey the Bear won't bother me while I'm pinching off a loaf!

Ultimately my wish will be granted, and I will be able to get sleeve tattoos, grow my hair long, and live free on the open road. Fuck those goddamned corporate Yes Men with their flow charts and 10 dollar coffee. They wouldn't last a month out in the open and they know it. SUV's are over-priced pieces of shit anyways. They can kiss my ass!