Church versus D & D
Church and Dungeons and Dragons.
Perhaps the people who enjoy both are more similar than they both realize?
I was "dismissed" the other day from a D & D group that I've been a part of for the past year and a half, on account that I was no longer interested in attending. The Dungeon Master had the tendency to be a dick about things, and was sending text messages non-stop to the group, to the point that it was invasive. We usually played once a week, on Wednesday night, from 1800 - 2100 hours. Outside of that, my time is exactly that - my time. I don't want to carry over the game, when I need to focus on work, my relationship, and earning Platinum trophies on the Playstation 3 & 4. The DM didn't see things that way, and became somewhat harassing with late night messaging.
I politely informed him of this concern, but it didn't seem to phase him that much. It was as if Dungeons and Dragons was his only connection with the outside world, and that his life as a stay-at-home husband was confined to only such interactions. I also didn't appreciate the fact that he killed off two of my previous characters, both Rogue wood elves that were loosely based off my original character from my Elder Scrolls Online account, for no legitimate reason, other than the fact that the original group from the first campaign had disbanded, and the current group I was with, all got a little too cocky in fighting a baby green dragon, and were all killed as a result. Technically my character wasn't killed off, as I was not attending that session when it happened, but it royally pissed me off that I had a second character removed within a matter of six months, through no fault of my own. The whole purpose of D & D is to build a character and develop that character over time; years even. How can someone do that, if the DM gets a wild hair up their ass on a routine basis? The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth, to say the least.
This whole situation reminded me of when I was stationed in the UK, back in the early 90's. I was a wet-behind-the-ears kid of 18 years old, and was living on my own for the first time. I was in a strange country, that despite speaking the same language, had a culture that was entirely different from the culture I knew, growing up in Southern California. East Anglia was cold, and it became dark early in the winter, lending an eerie atmosphere to the land. Being scared and not knowing how to function as a young adult, I joined an off base church, thinking it would provide the refuge and stability I was looking for.
Everything seemed normal at first; the people were nice, and the singles group were primarily fellow Americans similar in age. Despite that it was a sausage-fest of sorts, we all got along rather well. Church met on Wednesday nights, Sunday mornings and evenings, and the singles group followed thereafter. The leader of the singles group, a middle-aged British man by the name of Mike, was very amicable and served as a surrogate father-figure to some of us. I looked up to Mike, and appreciated his warmth and assistance. The singles group would usually eat snacks, gossip, and we'd watch a movie before going home. It was nice for a little while.
However, similar to my D & D group, things started to get a little too invasive for my liking. Mike was one to keep tabs on all the members of the singles group. If you missed church, even for work, he would inquire as to the how and the why. At first, I found this unusual and awkward, as I value my privacy, and the privacy of others, but thought nothing of it. It wasn't until this became routine on his part, that I had misgivings about church attendance. Little bit by little bit, I noticed other behaviors in the church group I didn't like: gossiping became back-biting, and nobody was safe. Seemingly people who were "brothers" and "sisters" in Christ, were openly talking shit about one another, when they were not around. Group events were practically mandatory, and I had to once lie to them as to why I didn't want to attend a weekend trip to London, because I wanted to go on a date with some ugly girl I had met. The Machine was horny and had no shame (I didn't get laid, anyways, and looking back now, I'm glad I didn't. The bitch had a beard like a viking, and the hands to match).
I decided that I would stop attending the church, but I didn't announce it right away. I had missed a week or two, before Mike decided to check on me, wanting to know why I had been absent. I simply said that I had been busy. It placated him for the time being, but my continued absence didn't go unnoticed. He came around again, citing how my absence was concerning, and that I need to return to church immediately, if I knew what was good for me. It was then when I told him about my observations as well as my concerns, and how I no longer wish to attend. He was taken back by my allegations, but still expected to see me there the following Sunday. When I had failed to appear again, that's when he decided to act.
He approached me one final time, saying that I had been officially removed from the church, and it had been voted on by a council. This was a Biblically based decision, and he provided the supporting scripture as evidence. I didn't challenge any of it, but was kind of shocked that they would go to such an extreme for something so trivial. If I had been bad-mouthing the congregation, or making an ass of myself otherwise, I could understand, but usually something such as lack of attendance is noted, but not grounds for removal. I had seen other church-goers sneaking around people's backs to do questionable things, but never once had I mentioned it to anyone. I'm quite certain if everyone was put under a microscope, few, if any, would be squeaky clean.
I remember how once the church pastor made a snide remark about people from California. I want to say that was the deciding factor for me right there. I never once spoke or thought ill of the pastor, nor Mike, but looking back now, I wonder just how instrumental he was in my dismissal from the church. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, based on how good he treated me, but looking at things from a much-wisened perspective, I wouldn't be surprised if he had voted against me.
So, both the Dungeon Master and Mike exhibited similar behaviors that influenced my decision to no longer attend something that is/was otherwise enjoyable. I will say that unlike the event in 1991/92 time frame, where I defended myself poorly and had the grace of an elephant, I was able to much better assert myself this time, and done so in such a smart, respectable manner. Discretion is the better part of valor, as the saying goes.
From now on, I most likely won't attend Dungeons and Dragons ever again. It was nice to rekindle a hobby from my junior high years, largely in part because of Stranger Things on Netflix, but it just goes to remind me how me and people usually just don't mix. I am a loner for a reason, as well as a misanthrope. While I like the idea of attending both church and Dungeons and Dragons, the reality is that I'm not cut out for either.
Heh.
Perhaps the people who enjoy both are more similar than they both realize?
I was "dismissed" the other day from a D & D group that I've been a part of for the past year and a half, on account that I was no longer interested in attending. The Dungeon Master had the tendency to be a dick about things, and was sending text messages non-stop to the group, to the point that it was invasive. We usually played once a week, on Wednesday night, from 1800 - 2100 hours. Outside of that, my time is exactly that - my time. I don't want to carry over the game, when I need to focus on work, my relationship, and earning Platinum trophies on the Playstation 3 & 4. The DM didn't see things that way, and became somewhat harassing with late night messaging.
I politely informed him of this concern, but it didn't seem to phase him that much. It was as if Dungeons and Dragons was his only connection with the outside world, and that his life as a stay-at-home husband was confined to only such interactions. I also didn't appreciate the fact that he killed off two of my previous characters, both Rogue wood elves that were loosely based off my original character from my Elder Scrolls Online account, for no legitimate reason, other than the fact that the original group from the first campaign had disbanded, and the current group I was with, all got a little too cocky in fighting a baby green dragon, and were all killed as a result. Technically my character wasn't killed off, as I was not attending that session when it happened, but it royally pissed me off that I had a second character removed within a matter of six months, through no fault of my own. The whole purpose of D & D is to build a character and develop that character over time; years even. How can someone do that, if the DM gets a wild hair up their ass on a routine basis? The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth, to say the least.
This whole situation reminded me of when I was stationed in the UK, back in the early 90's. I was a wet-behind-the-ears kid of 18 years old, and was living on my own for the first time. I was in a strange country, that despite speaking the same language, had a culture that was entirely different from the culture I knew, growing up in Southern California. East Anglia was cold, and it became dark early in the winter, lending an eerie atmosphere to the land. Being scared and not knowing how to function as a young adult, I joined an off base church, thinking it would provide the refuge and stability I was looking for.
Everything seemed normal at first; the people were nice, and the singles group were primarily fellow Americans similar in age. Despite that it was a sausage-fest of sorts, we all got along rather well. Church met on Wednesday nights, Sunday mornings and evenings, and the singles group followed thereafter. The leader of the singles group, a middle-aged British man by the name of Mike, was very amicable and served as a surrogate father-figure to some of us. I looked up to Mike, and appreciated his warmth and assistance. The singles group would usually eat snacks, gossip, and we'd watch a movie before going home. It was nice for a little while.
However, similar to my D & D group, things started to get a little too invasive for my liking. Mike was one to keep tabs on all the members of the singles group. If you missed church, even for work, he would inquire as to the how and the why. At first, I found this unusual and awkward, as I value my privacy, and the privacy of others, but thought nothing of it. It wasn't until this became routine on his part, that I had misgivings about church attendance. Little bit by little bit, I noticed other behaviors in the church group I didn't like: gossiping became back-biting, and nobody was safe. Seemingly people who were "brothers" and "sisters" in Christ, were openly talking shit about one another, when they were not around. Group events were practically mandatory, and I had to once lie to them as to why I didn't want to attend a weekend trip to London, because I wanted to go on a date with some ugly girl I had met. The Machine was horny and had no shame (I didn't get laid, anyways, and looking back now, I'm glad I didn't. The bitch had a beard like a viking, and the hands to match).
I decided that I would stop attending the church, but I didn't announce it right away. I had missed a week or two, before Mike decided to check on me, wanting to know why I had been absent. I simply said that I had been busy. It placated him for the time being, but my continued absence didn't go unnoticed. He came around again, citing how my absence was concerning, and that I need to return to church immediately, if I knew what was good for me. It was then when I told him about my observations as well as my concerns, and how I no longer wish to attend. He was taken back by my allegations, but still expected to see me there the following Sunday. When I had failed to appear again, that's when he decided to act.
He approached me one final time, saying that I had been officially removed from the church, and it had been voted on by a council. This was a Biblically based decision, and he provided the supporting scripture as evidence. I didn't challenge any of it, but was kind of shocked that they would go to such an extreme for something so trivial. If I had been bad-mouthing the congregation, or making an ass of myself otherwise, I could understand, but usually something such as lack of attendance is noted, but not grounds for removal. I had seen other church-goers sneaking around people's backs to do questionable things, but never once had I mentioned it to anyone. I'm quite certain if everyone was put under a microscope, few, if any, would be squeaky clean.
I remember how once the church pastor made a snide remark about people from California. I want to say that was the deciding factor for me right there. I never once spoke or thought ill of the pastor, nor Mike, but looking back now, I wonder just how instrumental he was in my dismissal from the church. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, based on how good he treated me, but looking at things from a much-wisened perspective, I wouldn't be surprised if he had voted against me.
So, both the Dungeon Master and Mike exhibited similar behaviors that influenced my decision to no longer attend something that is/was otherwise enjoyable. I will say that unlike the event in 1991/92 time frame, where I defended myself poorly and had the grace of an elephant, I was able to much better assert myself this time, and done so in such a smart, respectable manner. Discretion is the better part of valor, as the saying goes.
From now on, I most likely won't attend Dungeons and Dragons ever again. It was nice to rekindle a hobby from my junior high years, largely in part because of Stranger Things on Netflix, but it just goes to remind me how me and people usually just don't mix. I am a loner for a reason, as well as a misanthrope. While I like the idea of attending both church and Dungeons and Dragons, the reality is that I'm not cut out for either.
Heh.
posted by Machine at 12:03 PM
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