Shitting at Work
I hate work. Work sucks. The ass-clowns there can't manage that hospital for shit. I even had a doctor bitch to me today about how bad it has become...and I didn't even know the guy. You know it's that bad when total strangers gotta get flak off their chest.
Now, I've decided to no longer give a damn. There can be 3 people on hold on the phone, 5 patients waiting to check in, and I'd rather go take a shit on the crapper, instead. The staff I work with have pissed me off with their rude, two-faced, obnoxious attitudes in such a short time (read 6 weeks), that I no longer want to work in their clinic. They can choke on a herpes-encrusted dick, for all I care.
I take great pleasure in knowing I get paid to take a dump on government time. I get to pinch out a loaf and have you, the tax-payer, pay me to void my bowels as many times as I like. I get to stink up the airwaves with my foul, fetid poopy aroma, offending any newcomers who are unfortunate enough enter the bathroom unawares.
The best part is I never wash my hands after wiping my ass. Instead, I go back to work, and touch whatever items it is that the people who have pissed me off use. Pens, note pads, paper clips, sticky notes, the arms of their chairs - everything is fair game. One time I even shoved a phone receiver down my pants and rubbed my butt-juice all over the mouth part of this one fat fuck who pissed me the hell off, and hung it back up. Computer keyboards and mouses top the list of getting a healthy dose of ass-spray, too. The only things off limits are family photos; otherwise if it's on the desk or in sight, it's fair game. Even food. One time, I farted on some fuck-tard's breakfast pizza, when it was left unattended on the table. He was being a royal prick about something inane, and instead of just letting it go, he persisted. Treat me like shit, you reap what you sow....and in this case, literally.
I think I'll start loading porn onto my cell phone, and watch it next time I'm dropping a deuce in the stall. Between bukkake gang-bangs and my spastic colon trembling, I should manage to punch out a shit of epic proportions. Since I'll have a boner from watching all the porn, I'll then turn around and jizz all over my rendition of Mount Poo-ji, giving it the snowy-colored topping. I'll turn around, walk out of the stall without flushing it, and let the next dumb SOB who enters the stall deal with it. Upon doing that, I'll drop my resignation notice and head the fuck home. Fuck this bullshit.
Heh.
Now, I've decided to no longer give a damn. There can be 3 people on hold on the phone, 5 patients waiting to check in, and I'd rather go take a shit on the crapper, instead. The staff I work with have pissed me off with their rude, two-faced, obnoxious attitudes in such a short time (read 6 weeks), that I no longer want to work in their clinic. They can choke on a herpes-encrusted dick, for all I care.
I take great pleasure in knowing I get paid to take a dump on government time. I get to pinch out a loaf and have you, the tax-payer, pay me to void my bowels as many times as I like. I get to stink up the airwaves with my foul, fetid poopy aroma, offending any newcomers who are unfortunate enough enter the bathroom unawares.
The best part is I never wash my hands after wiping my ass. Instead, I go back to work, and touch whatever items it is that the people who have pissed me off use. Pens, note pads, paper clips, sticky notes, the arms of their chairs - everything is fair game. One time I even shoved a phone receiver down my pants and rubbed my butt-juice all over the mouth part of this one fat fuck who pissed me the hell off, and hung it back up. Computer keyboards and mouses top the list of getting a healthy dose of ass-spray, too. The only things off limits are family photos; otherwise if it's on the desk or in sight, it's fair game. Even food. One time, I farted on some fuck-tard's breakfast pizza, when it was left unattended on the table. He was being a royal prick about something inane, and instead of just letting it go, he persisted. Treat me like shit, you reap what you sow....and in this case, literally.
I think I'll start loading porn onto my cell phone, and watch it next time I'm dropping a deuce in the stall. Between bukkake gang-bangs and my spastic colon trembling, I should manage to punch out a shit of epic proportions. Since I'll have a boner from watching all the porn, I'll then turn around and jizz all over my rendition of Mount Poo-ji, giving it the snowy-colored topping. I'll turn around, walk out of the stall without flushing it, and let the next dumb SOB who enters the stall deal with it. Upon doing that, I'll drop my resignation notice and head the fuck home. Fuck this bullshit.
Heh.
posted by Machine at 10:33 PM
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