Weekend Seminar

Heh. Weekend Seminars are something else. The University will put these things on, only you have to sacrifice sleeping in or getting shit-faced the night before if you want to be able to function in class and get a decent grade.

I am attending a seminar on how the Third Reich came into power. Personally I hate Nazis, I hate Hitler, I hate fascism and all the assholes who think that having a dictator running your life is the greatest thing since sliced butt hair. Having said that, this class counts as 1 semester hour towards my degree in German Language Studies and it beats the usual 8 weeks of sitting in class and having to listen to some asshole state a bunch of useless facts.

In this case I already have the teacher from one of my previous German classes - some old dude in his 70's who was around when World War II actually came to an end. No way. He actually remembers those Nazi douchebags from when he was a little boy. He's pretty cool in the sense that when he teaches the class, it is similar to how a German university class is taught - no homework but any tests given are based off how well you can take notes, and there is only a mid-term and a final. I ended up taking 7 pages of notes just today alone since I know what to expect. The other students didn't do that necessarily.

Behind me sits some fat and tall oaf who is a mouth breather. And he smells. I fucking hate mouth breathers. All day I've had to listen to this bag of recessive genes inhale and exhale oxygen the way someone with Reactive Airway Disease gasps for air, and all the associated drooling that goes along with it. After lunch he came back with his fast food drink and was slurping ice and chewing on it. To top it off, he started getting bored, and before you know, this Dutch retread is playing a game on his cell phone. I glanced occasionally to see how he was doing in class and he didn't have half a page of notes. You can tell this guy really makes his parents proud.

There's this also this gorgeous big-titted hottie with long curly hair and glasses that has got my attention. Daddy definitely like. I saw a hint of gray in her hair so I am thinking she is over 30 but you would swear at least 24 by the way she dresses - a tight 'As I Lay Dying' rock t-shirt, multiple ear piercings, and tight jeans that don't leave anything to the imagination. I was chatting her up today in between breaks and will see what she's up to tomorrow after class is done. She seems receptive but for all I know she could be married but I didn't see a wedding ring, so unless she says otherwise, she's fair game. And for all I know, she could be my next trophy girlfriend too.

Trophy girlfriends are something else. Usually the ones I date are all heavily medicated. Prozac. Sertaline. Xanax. Just name the anti-depression medication of your favorite choice and chances are I've heard of it. The upside is that you have this gorgeous hottie who is practically your own private porn star, but the downside is that all the shit her previous boyfriends did to her, you have to deal with and in some cases you are just equally to blame. I once dated this one chick who looked like Courtney Love and for the lack of a better phrase she was 'well adjusted' until the moment you added alcohol - then she became head-over-heels psycho and all the abusive shit her ex-husband did to her, I was automatically to blame. Mind you I had never met the guy but I was definitely taking one for the team. Even my last girlfriend was souped up on triple dose Prozac so perhaps there's some connection there some how. Who knows.

All I know is that with Fasching going on this week it will be a crime if I don't go out tonight to the local gasthaus and get only mildly shit-faced since I still have school and a final to take tomorrow.

Heh.

Fasching

Fasching is an interesting event that the Germans like to celebrate every year. It is their version of Mardi Gras, only they do it in sub-fucking-freezing temperature weather. They put on silly costumes and get shit-faced just like we do in the States, only instead of doing it in a shit-hole swamp of a state that was ravaged by two hurricanes and a shit-for-brains mayor, they do it in a shit-hole country that was ruined by two world wars and a shit-for-brains dictator.

Ah, but let's not go there....

Anycase tomorrow starts the first day of Fasching - Altweiberfastnacht - where a bunch of drunk and horny women take over city hall and pretty much grab a guy on the spot and jump his bones if they like what they see. If some dude is wearing a neck tie, that's an open invitation that he's fair game, otherwise there's a drunk bitch cat fight on your hands - not that such a thing isn't entertaining to watch - just stay away from the flying beer bottles, pub glasses, or anything else they can get their hands on.

So I figure I need to go buy a tie and see if this story is true or not. Koln is where this whole thing supposively kicks off although Wittlich is another place to go experience the magic. I just need to make sure that dude don't look like a lady if it rings true.

Heh.

...Hallucinate and Tranquilize...

I need one of these.

If I did my Playstation would gather dust, and I would never leave the house again.


Heh.