The Bunny

This is The Bunny.



She rocks.

All you assholes need to go visit her website right away and buy her artwork.

NOW.

When you see the design of the two hot Anime chicks, you will then know what I speak of.


I had to change my pants after seeing that pic too.


Now get going.

The Bunny Blog

A-Town

Behold. A-Town in all its glory.

America Town has quite the history. At the expense of going into great detail and wasting your time, read this related link as to its background and recent happenings.

Kalani O'Sullivan's page on A-Town




Alan and Brookie made it down from Osan yesterday and wanted to go to A-Town to eat dinner. I figured it would be fun since I hadn't been out there in months, and I consider Alan and Brookie both to be really cool friends. We ate dinner at Mr Choe's BBQ and then went to a country bar where we shot a few rounds of pool and had a few drinks.




A-Town used to be fun. I emphasize the words used to. I came to Korea originally in 1995 and remember when you could live down in A-Town and not get hassled by Town Patrol or anyone from Wing Leadership because you were raising hell and making noise. So long as you weren't throwing fists or breaking anything, it was a wildman's paradise. I even had an apartment in A-Town the final months I was here for my first visit which was awesome since I could go home after a night of drinking and crash without having to catch the drunk bus back to base and fumble for my ID. Those were definitely some good times.




Now look at the place. Completely vacant, especially on a 4-day weekend. This photo was taken around 9pm last night and considering curfew is 1am, this place would normally be hopping with people. Instead of partying here, people now go to Kunsan City instead to avoid the over-bearing Town Patrol where they can let down their hair and not worry about Mom and Dad looking over their shoulders every 5 minutes.

When I returned here last year I was hassled by the cops 3 separate times within a 10 minute period. I was out on my Green Bean with my friend Joey, when the first set of cops told me it was time to leave - curfew wasn't for another 45 minutes, and instead of arguing with the dude, I simply said "Okay" and started heading back to catch the drunk bus back to base.

I tried getting on the bus, but a second cop told me I had to wait for the next bus since it was completely full. Bullshit. There was plenty of standing room in the aisles, only he was feeling pushy and arrogant behind his badge. "Okay, whatever. I'll wait for the next bus then" I concluded and waited in the corner with a bunch of other drunk dudes.

Not a moment later, a third cop, his buddy, decides to give me shit by asking where my wingman was. "I'm standing here with these guys! THEY'RE my wingman!" I fired back, somewhat perturbed by now. I was clearly getting fucked with despite the fact I hadn't said or done anything remotely to warrant such treatment. Had numb-nuts been paying attention to my conversation with the second cop, he would've known I was told just to chill out and wait for the next bus to arrive.

It was through that one event last year that I was convinced to stay the hell away from A-Town, anywhere on base like the NCO Club or the many hooches around the place, or anywhere else on the Republic for that matter. If Town Patrol is going to act like Darth Vader's Storm Troopers then I figure the best way to avoid any future confrontations would be to remove myself from the equation all together. A bit extreme perhaps but considering what I had just experienced, it was the best option around.




Alan, Brookie and myself went to a total of 3 different clubs last night and we were essentially the only people in each of the clubs, aside from the owners and the Juicee Girls working. During that time frame we saw more Town Patrol poke their noses in than it took us to finish 1 beer. Madness.

This place has really become a ghost-town and to say that it's on its last leg is a definite understatement. While I won't get into the "who's" and "why's" of how this place has become what it is (Kalani O'Sullivan goes into better detail than I could possibly), it's a crying shame to see one of the last bastions of the "old Air Force" die a slow and painful death. Yes, change is inevitable but the old phrase "Leave well-enough alone" also comes to mind.

Brookie and Alan decided to call it an early night by returning to base to see whether the NCO Club was livelier - that was dead too. They decided instead to go to the BX, buy a bottle of booze, and call it an evening. A shame too, considering they both had a really kick-ass time when they were stationed here in 2002, and were hoping to recapture some of its former glory.

For the past year I've told friends and family alike to stay away from Kunsan. It is no longer fun, even with the most mundane aspects of traveling to Kunsan City for the day. Sure there are programs through the Recreation Center for tours and trips, but the unspoken word around base is that any independent traveling on your own is highly discouraged. Alan and Brookie both finally saw what it was I've been saying all along.

Sorry guys, I am really disappointed you didn't have a fun time when you came down. For your next trip I promise we'll go to Kunsan City instead.



"See you again" - not if I can help it.

Faded (or why it is I hate cover bands)

Faded is the name of a shitty cover band from Seoul. These guys are all prior Army/Air Force that decided the military wasn't for them, only they realized how good they had it when they were in, and sponge off the USFK resources still. They get gigs with the USO here to tour the different installations we have on the ROK and get paid to perform their renditions of Top 40 songs that have come and gone. While Kunsan may get the occasional celebrity like Sinbad or Coolio (anyone remember them?), some of the more austere places along the DMZ are lucky if anyone comes to visit, and that's where bands like Faded move in for the kill.

I saw these losers perform here last year in Sept/Oct time-frame and thought they sucked donkey balls then. They didn't know any Sabbath or Ozzy tunes when I asked them to play some, but played awful shit like Creed and Blink 182. What the fuck? You're going to claim to be a band yet can't even play something as basic as Crazy Train or Iron Man? Get the fuck out already!

Well, 6 months had passed and perhaps these dudes took a hint and got their shit together, right? Well, we'll get to that in just a moment.



Like the sign mentioned, the band was going to start playing around 7 pm. A small group of people had already gathered up - people with nothing to do except drink beer and chill out. These are your usual run-of-the-mill flightline guys usually who work their asses off to make sure the jets take off on time, and want to unload for the weekend without having so much a care. Decent people for the most part.

At one end of the field they had a food booth set up where you could buy hot dogs and beer and what not, and the other end had a USO raffle booth giving away free prizes - stupid shit primarily - a Game Boy Advance, a shitty CD stereo, and some ghetto DVD player - all under $100 in value. There were also footballs, soccer balls, and band posters that were being handed out by some asshole Limey Brit while the band played. He tried getting the crowd worked up, only he fell short. Horribly short. He made himself look more like an ass than someone with charisma. People started ignoring him after a minute of his banter.




AFN was there too - the chick next to the camera was pretty hot and at first I thought she was a wanna-be star fucker, but it turns out she works at the radio station on base. We shot one another glances but nothing more came of that. No way am I going to talk to her with 3 other swinging dicks surrounding her. Besides, anything stupid I would say to her would be caught on film.

I decide to have a seat in the bleachers and these 3 redneck guys are slamming down brews. They have an ice chest full of beer and are just chilling out. Some 19/20 year old cop comes over and tells them they need to get rid of all their beer since some of the senior leadership has arrived and it "doesn't look good" according to them.

Once again, Mom and Dad are in control, as always.

The rednecks only have 3 beers left and slam them right quick. Instead of giving the cop some shit, they figure they may as well comply since they don't want any shit from anyone.




The band decides to come out at 7:30, and not 7pm as promised. WTF? They're not big name rock stars like Marilyn Manson or Zakk Wylde, so it's not like they have alot of behind the scenes shit they need to do. They're just being lazy. They start singing some stupid shit by getting the night started.

Remember those 3 redneck guys? They're more like the redneck version of the 3 Stooges. While being well-behaved at first, they start talking shit amongst one another and they start to horse-play. No big deal, right? Get a few brews in yah and yah wanna let loose. Only, it went from Tom-Foolery hi-jinks to shoving and then a fist-fight. No sooner did it begin than it ended.

Some asshole Tech Sargeant I've seen running around on base pulls his ID card out and starts to shove it in their face like he's making a citizen's arrest and his ID card is a make-shift police badge. To describe what this dude looks like, is like taking one of the "Bobs" from Office Space and give him a 24/7 constipated look on his face.



There yah go. The guy on the left.

Anycase, him and some fat black guy apprehend the "Curly" of the 3 Redneck Stooges, while calling for the same 20 year old cop to come up and do his job. The cop has this stupid look on his face and it doesn't register to him that his assistance is needed until a minute or so of continual hand gestures. Then the lightbulb in this dude's head dimly lights up and he puts 2 + 2 together. And we trust this genius with a firearm, folks. Nice.

As Asshole TSgt continues throwing his rank around, everyone starts to notice how much I'm laughing as all of this is taking place. After all, I'm sitting directly behind them and paying more attention to what's going on instead of the band on stage. Well, Asshole TSgt starts getting pissed at me and starts shooting me dirty looks like I'm next on his quest for authoritarian power. Moe and Larry of the Redneck Stooges start noticing as well, only they don't say shit since the cops are there giving Curly grief still. They all get pissed and just do nothing for the moment.

All of this is going on as the band continues playing. They play some bullshit by 3 Doors Down and some other chick-music crap that I wasn't paying much attention to. Fuel I think I remember the lead singer saying. Anycase it wasn't any sooner than the 5th song that I decided this shit was for the birds, and took off to call it an evening. Asshole TSgt still had the perpetual constipated look on his face and I'd much rather go back to my room in the barracks and play X-Box instead. I suppose after having seen Black Label Society in Tokyo last week, some shitty cover band pales in comparison. As much as I bagged on FFH for being a Jesus-Freak band, they had more talent in their pinky fingers than all of Faded did collectively because they sang original music and it didn't suck. Take away the whole religious angle and they could hold their own on any mainstream radio station in the US. Either way, cover bands have no talent in my opinion because they stick to what's safe instead of growing a pair of balls and taking a risk.

I wandered back to my room, but not before bumping into the 20 year old kid cop that had busted Curly. He was coming back from the LE Desk after having filed the paperwork when he decided he wanted to give me some shit for laughing at the whole even earlier. Or at least tried to. He started to follow me as I continued walking back to "The Bunker" but was then cut off as he saw his flight leader off duty and decided it wasn't worth the hassle in bothering me. After all, I was nothing more than a witness and a by-stander to tonight's events and if he's going to let his badge and position go to his head, I'll play the rank card and give his First Sargeant a bunch of shit for false arrest and demand he pull gate guard duties as punishment. I've had plenty of run-ins with cops when I was younger, and know from experience that he can't do shit if you're minding your own business and not saying a thing. Why it is we give power to people so young and immature, I don't know but it feeds into the problem and not the solution.

Overall, I could tell that Faded hadn't changed their format. They sucked then and they sucked now, and it's a shame the USO continues to throw money away on these no-talent hacks. I'd rather have them spend a few more bucks and get Slayer to perform instead of some ex-military losers that can't write an original song to save their lives.

If I wanted to hear shitty music, I'd turn on AFN Radio.

Tokyo Crud

Some how I caught some crud while I was in Tokyo.

For the past week I've been coughing and hacking up all sorts of disgusting shit from my lungs and sinuses and can only attribute it to all the running around I did while I was over there.

Last night it got so bad I woke up around 2am looking for some cough syrup I thought I had, but was mistaken. The other alternative was to drink a shit load of water in hopes that would give me some rest instead. Some how it worked.

I'm the type of person who is rarely sick. I don't smoke and drink only on occasion. I wash my hands every time I meet someone, after shaking their hands, and make sure to wash up every time I use the bathroom and before I eat. I even wash my hands AFTER eating too, I'm that conscious of it. While I am no stretch someone who qualifies for having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, washing my hands is completely paramount to my health. I learned that during my time as an EMT.

Korea is the epitome of unhealthy living. From open sewers to garbage littering the streets, it's no wonder so many people here come down with active forms of Tuberculosis and what not. People spit on the street all the time and it's fucking gross. I was running around downtown Kunsan City today and I saw a FUCKING RAT out in broad daylight. It was scurrying along the sidewalk of the busy intersection I was at, taking some shelter under a nearby parked truck. The majority of rodents and other vermin are usually reluctant to come out during daylight hours, and to see this giant bastard running around like he's not afraid of anything really drives the point home how filthy this whole country really is.

SARS, Avian Flu Virus, Japanese Encephalitis - all that shit comes from this part of the globe for a reason, and as many times as I have frequented this part of the world, it's surprising I've never contracted anything serious like that. Fucking Hell.

My Van

I miss my van.

When I was living in Misawa, I decided to buy a van when I first arrived, strictly out of financial reasons. In Japan, the Japanese have what's called Japanese Compulsory Insurance also known as JCI, which is required for anyone owning a vehicle to have accomplished every 2-3 years. Essentially the inspection ensures the vehicle is "roadworthy", but in reality it's how the Japanese goverment rapes the wallets and purses of anyone residing in their country.

Now JCI depending on the vehicle, can be anywhere from $1000 all the way up $3000+, depending on the scruples of the auto inspector versus what really needs repair. For my van it costed me roughly $800 for the inspector to ensure all my lights worked, the brakes and engine functioned properly, and that the tires weren't balding. As it turned out, I needed a new brake light, a rear tire rim needed replacement and one of my brake pads needed to be changed. So for $800 I suppose the cost of parts and labor somehow worked its way in there.

Anycase, now that bit of boring trivia on owning a vehicle in Japan is out of the way, on with the story.

My involvement with the occult has a checkered history. Perhaps saying a "reserved use" is more appropriate. Either way with great power comes great responsibility, and is not to be squandered on trivial things. Because the Air Force is predominantly Judeo-Christian in nature, I've had run-ins previously with Jesus Freaks and Holier-Than-Thou types that piss me off to no end. While I don't go around putting Satanic pentagrams or inverted crosses on my desk at work or anything, the fact these assholes can post Bible scriptures and pictures of Jesus in the work place truly proves to be a double-standard.

Not one to shit where I eat/work/live or anything, I figured I could show resistance to all the WASPS and Southern Baptists by decorating my van with a predominantly Rock n Roll/Devil theme. Slowly I started collecting stickers from kick-ass places like www.posterpop.com and www.coopstuff.com since they remind me of how real life is outside of the military, back home in Southern California. Surprisingly enough, the Japanese have a knack for this kind of thing too at the nearby Shimoda Mall, where I was able to find more stuff to plaster on my van. Skulls, naked demon chicks, even Beavis & Butthead stickers all found their way on the back.

Nobody ever gave me shit about having my van decorated this way. Not once ever. I would drive around base with Death Metal blaring from the open windows, making mothers clutch their frightened children and others roll their eyes in disgust at me. I thought the ultimate would come when I found a Satan Fish emblem similar to the Jesus Fish emblem when I went to the Pearl Ridge Shopping Center when I visited Hawaii in 2003, and placed it proudly upon the left side of the vehicle. I was expecting some asshole to slash my tires or leave one of those annoying Chick Tracts the Christians are so obcessed with underneath one of the wiper blades, showing me the folly of my ways and to repent before it was too late. I don't know if it was out of fear most people avoided saying something or the fact they knew I was doing it for shits n' grins, but I remained undisturbed the entire time I was there.

Ultimately I had to sell my van before coming to Korea. I scraped off the majority of the stickers since I knew no 'normal' (read: lame) Air Force weenie would purchase something plastered with Satanic imagery and be seen driving it around on base. I removed everything except for the Coop Wrench Devil on the very back and the In-n-Out Burger sticker with matching side-flames, and sure enough I sold it the last week I left.

When I returned earlier this month, I saw my old van two times. It looked like the dude I purchased it from just let it go to total shit, but still left the decals on there. The rear bumper was also missing. I never had a chance to talk with the dude but think that he didn't care for its upkeep the way I did. It was kinda weird seeing a vehicle I had previously owned in the care of someone else.

It's through this whole experience that I want to buy a black van, preferrably one of those old Econoline series that's painted black and has various rust patches if and when I ever return to the States. I can get a CD player with blown speakers installed and go barreling down the residential streets and highways to all the Slayer I want to until my black little heart is content, and go hang out in the seedy red light districts of whatever city I find myself traveling to on a whim. I'd keep a shotgun and 9mm side arm handy for anyone foolish enough to try jacking my ride or giving me shit for having a giant inverted cross hanging from my rear-view mirror. For finishing touches, I would have riot guards installed around the headlights and a carhorn so loud it would wake the dead when used.



Something kinda like this!!

Asian Pacific Heritage Month

One thing the DoD prides itself on is ethnic diversity.

There are months reserved to pay homage to the black, latino, Native American, and Asian communities for their efforts in keeping Democracy alive and well within our society. There is even a Women's History Month dedicated to female pioneers whom have carved a name for themselves in American history.

Why is there no White History Month? Or European Ancestry Month? Any talk of something like this automatically conjures images in alot of Americans of the Ku Klux Klan, the National Socialist movement, or a bunch of rednecks that live in trailer park communities and inbreed. Sure, Europeans colonized the US and Canada, but it was the Native American that first occupied the soil and is truly the rightful founder of its identity.

Well, you can thank the liberal media and the Democrats for this negative reinforcement since the 1960's essentially. For the past 40-50 years, White Americans have been taught that they're "White Devils" by history books, assholes like Malcolm X and Louis Farrakahn, and how they are directly responsible for the oppression and slaughter of every ethnic group known today to mankind. Nevermind the fact that Blacks enslaved the Jews and that Muslims continued to capitalize on slavery long after the European aristocracy abolished its practice, Spike Lee and other 90's celebrities like Ice-T and Ice Cube have helped reinforce this negative stereotype into the socially acceptable monster that it is today. While you see little white girls wearing black hair fashions and fat white kids trying to act like ghetto thugs, I have to wonder when this negativity is going to end and we as a collective ethnic group can enjoy our Aryan, Teutonic, and Celtic ancestries without ridicule or prejudice. We have truly lost our identity.

My question ultimately leads up to this: because I currently live in Korea, and have lived in Asia for 8 collective years now, isn't everyday Asian Heritage Month for me, whether I want it or not? From my waking moments until I close my eyes to sleep at night, I am continually reminded of where I live in the world, and all the contributions that Asians have made not only to their societies, but to the US commonwealth as well. Koreans, Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiians, Filipinos and Chamorrans far outnumber Americans in this part of the world, and naturally so.

So why do we still have this double standard?

And living in San Diego California as a kid, everyday was Hispanic Heritage month since it borders the Tijuana/Mexican border, with a steady stream of people crossing daily - both legally and illegally.

The only place I could see that a Caucasian heritage month would need not apply would naturally be Europe and Russia. Having been to Europe 3 times now, I can say I truly feel like I fit in there more so than I do in the US or any other place I have visited, for the simple fact there isn't that negative element attached because I am simply white. But even so I think that is changing slowly. With such a strong influence abroad, the US is notorious for shaping world views, both politically and socially.

Now before you send me a nasty comment, calling me racist or bigoted or whatever, take a moment to catch your breath and re-read what I have just written. Nowhere am I bashing any ethnic group nor detracting from what they represent. I merely state fact and call 2 people assholes respectively. Even if you somehow manage to twist the intent of my message around, chances are you're a fucking race-baiter who has nothing better to do than to look under every rock and stone for trouble. You're no better than those goddamned Jesus Freaks that go looking for the Devil in every nook and cranny of the Universe. Play any Ozzy records backwards lately for that matter?

Honestly. Where does the madness end?

In the future I foresee the continued neglect of Caucasian Heritage nationally, forcing whites to create separate communities just as many Orthodox Jews have today. We will become another ethnic minority due to inter-racial mixing and loss of identity, but by then our numbers will have dwindled to the point where it will be too late to restore our previous influence in society. While some people think all of this sounds like complete and total horse shit, considering that roughly 50% of the US population is now Hispanic/Latino, do the math for 20 years from now and see what kind of numbers you get.

Wow.

The Short Bus Mafia rotation diet

For the past month and a half I've been going to gym 5 days week. From lifting weights to running and doing other forms of aerobic activity, I've managed to lose an inch and a half already from my waist. Considering I'm built like a brick shit house to begin with, this is really a good thing for me.

Not only that, but I am continually having to watch what I eat too since this new Air Force fitness standard has us all looking like fucking super-models and Calvin Klein posterboys. Gone are the alcohol and cigarettes. Gone are the 2-liter bottles of Coke and Pepsi. Potato chips, cookies, M&M's, Popeye's chicken and BBQ are all on the back-burner, and now replaced with carrots, tuna, rice and greens.

I'm fucking dying here people.

I have a shitload of alcohol sitting in my fridge that I'm reluctant to touch because my commander is scrutinizing everything I put into my mouth now. The fact I am a slow runner as well counts double against me on this new fitness test. Our fitness monitor is more like a fucking Nazi when he makes his morning rounds too. He will make sure you do all your push-ups and sit-ups properly when you are taking the test. This guy must not have a real life or something - he takes this shit way to seriously.

When I go to Japan next month for some much needed R&R, the last thing on my mind is going to be watching what I eat. I do enough of that here already. A real man loves to eat red meat and words like cholesterol and heart disease aren't a part of his vocabulary. Alcohol is his friend, as are cigarettes, not crap like Aqua Fina or wheat germ. Considering the military is based on fighting and winning, how can we as a nation consider ourselves to be threatening to our enemies when our people resemble someone from the front cover of Runner's World magazine? Besides the majority of Air Force people are built big anyways!

Do you see what I am getting at here?

Our grandparents' generation is considered to be the "Greatest Generation" that has ever lived. More men lived and died fighting in World War II than any of our previous and current conflicts. These men smoked, drank, cursed up a storm and fucked whatever indigenous women they could get their hands on. They weren't concerned about looking like some posterboy for the world to see, since their actions spoke louder than anything else. General Patton didn't give two shits whether or not his men could run a mile and a half in under 10 minutes, or if they all had a 32 inch waistline either. What mattered to him was whether or not these guys would put metal on target and give the Japs and the Gerrys Hell. "If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

In today's society with everything being so blatantly artificial, all we have to rely on are looks and image to justify what it is we do, before the public. While I look 10 times better now compared to how I looked a year ago, I think the Air Force has it all wrong and should be more on-line with the Army or Marines - so long as you can pull your buddies out of direct fire once they get hit, that's what counts. More importantly, fitness shouldn't be viewed as being a chore but instead should be lauded with down-days and other rewards.

With the Global War on Terrorism going in full swing, I don't think Habib the Crazy Terrorist is going to care whether or not I got a passing score on my fitness test when he's firing an RPG my direction. And chances are I won't give two shits either since I'll be the fastest person this side of the globe to run like Hell to take cover! So let people tank up on chips and beer! Let people eat BBQ ribs smothered in sauce - those fucking MRE's are far more damaging in the long run!

More Dan

Well it turns out that Dan isn't getting kicked out of the Air Force like we all thought originally.

I heard from him today via e-mail, explaining to me that he was moved to a different office and was told to wait there "until further notice" and not to ask any details as to whether or not he's going to get the boot. He concluded that the character reference letter I had written for him must've helped considering he didn't lose a stripe or anything like that. Good. I'm always glad to take care of friends like that.

What I think may have happened is that his commander got wind of the IG complaint that had been filed and how his leadership was trying to ass-fuck him by kicking him out when they thought about the legal repercussions once he did become a civilian once more - if Dan found a good lawyer, he could sue the government for improper termination practices and make a shit load of cash in return. It happens all the time in the civilian world and it even happened to someone in my family which is why I have a basic understanding of how these things work. If something like this were to ever happen to me, I would definitely know who to talk to!

Picture Problems

I finally got it.

I had no idea how fucking huge alot of these pics may appear on other people's monitors, until my sister told me in an e-mail to get a fucking clue and get with the program. So, sorry for having to bear through long download times and what not. I've resized the majority of the pictures here, making this blog dial-up friendly and what not. Please accept that as my apology to everyone.

I've also purchased a domain name and figured the reason why the majority of pictures weren't showing up is because of the fucking cheap-ass GeoShitties free service I've been using. Can't complain about getting something for nothing, right? So once again, I got with the program and hope this has solved the problem. Please keep me posted if pics still don't show up, or if some fucking weird leprechaun shows up on your monitor unexpectedly, laughing about a virus download or some shit.

Anycase, tonight's topic revolves around less-than-glamorous pics. We all have them hidden away somewhere - you know - the kind that are very unflattering. The pics where your eyes are partially closed, or you have some goofy retarded look on your face. Maybe there's a tampon string hanging out of your swimsuit, or you're popping a boner and it shows. I get a kick out of them personally. It takes away from your allure and larger-than-life persona on the internet. Here are some of my faves taken last year when I visited Tokyo in June.



"Rawwwrrrrr~ !"

There was a Frankenstein statue outside of a sex shop in Ueno, Tokyo. What the fuck? By having a Frankenstein statue in front of your business, will more people be compelled to buy more dildos and butt plugs? More anal lube? Whips and bondage equipment? Frankie is still there to this day, although when I saw him last week, his head had been busted open, possibly by some vandal or some sex-crazed Japanese businessman angry he couldn't get the last copy of Super Bukkake Sailor Girl Panties on video. I thought it would be fucking awesome to have this pic taken. You decide who is the monster and who is the boring stiff.



Just around the corner from the sleazy red light district in Ueno is the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Art. Talk about stark contrasts. Anycase, There is a replica of Rodin's The Gates of Hell out on display for everyone to see. In case you have no idea who Rodin is, he's the French dude that gave us The Thinker (aka the sitting naked guy staring), and if you have no idea what THAT is then you're fucking pathetic and have no appreciation for art! Fuck you then!

Anycase there was some sign printed in tiny English saying to stay away from this. I figured it would be hella cool for me to pose in front of it. Just as I did, some asshole security guard told me to get the fuck off the display and started yelling at me in Japanese, as you can see here in this photo. I played the bit of the stupid American and went about my business.



Just as the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld screamed "No Soup For You!, Jesus and his wax buddies are faithfully recreated here from DaVinci's painting of The Last Supper, and have forsaken me the last rites of our Lord and Savior. I found this inside the Tokyo Tower, located in Rappongi, of all places. Heh. Wonder if it was the shirt that gave it away?



Oh yes. It is my secret desire to get my bunghole licked by some giant freak some day. In the same Tokyo Tower mentioned previously, there was an optical illusion display for people to experience. For a few extra Yen, you could go in and experience these paintings. Doors on the ceiling, animals leaning through a window at you, M.C. Escher style-stairs connecting into other stairwells, etc. A great place to take a date or let your kids burn off some energy. But watch out for the rim-job zombie here.



"Yeeeeee-Haaaaaaawwww ~!"

I'm a MONSTER TRUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER! If you ever wanna see the redneck in me come out, just play Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd, or get me around a Monster Truck. Real or PlaySkool, as shown here.



Okay. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, standing next to a goddamned giant robot and a fucking PokeMon kiddie ride. Okay, actually I do. Joey Ramone once posed next to a Japanese robot bug hero when The Ramones toured Japan back in the late 70's and since I like the Ramones, I wanted to copy them. Only I'm wearing a Dimmu Borgir t-shirt which is Norwegian Death Metal, not NYC punk rock. Hey, it seemed cool at the time.



Finally, Not Enough Metal for Either Hand! I wandered around the Meiji Shrine located in the Harajuku district of Tokyo last year, on the word of a co-worker that on Sundays, all the freaky Japanese goth chicks get dolled up and hang out for people to witness. And sure enough, they were there! Since I have a fascination with anything offensive, I figured this would be the perfect way to end this entry. My command of the Japanese language is dodgy at best, so getting all the girls to give the camera the finger was quite an accomplishment.

The ultimate in embarassing photos are the county prison mug shots that get taken of you once you get incarcerated. I need to remember to get a copy of mine next time I get hauled off by the cops. Someone please remind me.

Star Wars comes to Korea

Okay. Like some moaning fag was complaining to me the other day how he didn't appreciate the fact I was bashing Star Wars fans and their fascination with Science-Fiction.

Well fuck you! You have inadvertently poured more fuel on the fire and this is what you get in return. Next time leave well enough alone.



I make it back to Korea last Thursday, courtesy of hopping via C-5 Galaxy from Yokota, around 6pm or so in the evening. The first thing I noticed was overhearing some Passenger Terminal dork talk about how Star Wars III is showing on base tonight for the very first time and how both the 6pm and the 9pm shows have been sold completely out. As he rattles on how cool it would be to be the first in line had he not had to be at work, some old retiree guy starts to heckle him and his nerd fans for going to such extremes over a fucking movie.

"You kids are fucking weird!" he exclaimed.

Old people annoy me in general and I try to avoid them, pretty much the way I try to avoid most people in general, but for once this dude proved that not all old farts are completely off their rocker. To watch some geezer rip into a Sci-Fi nerd is like watching Christians being thrown to the lions for sport - extremely entertaining. I can understand standing hours in line for a concert or hours in line to meet some famous political figure, but not for some goddamned movie you can get the bootleg off-base for $10 bucks - and yes, the Koreans already have illicit copies on DVD for sale - not that I would condone such a thing.

No sooner did we clear Customs and Immigrations did I make a bee-line out the door to get a taxi. I wanted to find a hotel room for the night and get a much needed shower. I throw my shit in a rental locker, save for some toiletries and a change of clothes in my backpack and hit the road. As I walk to the taxi stand, I see these fuckers already waiting in line.

Ha ha - FAGS.

I screamed something out loud to them about getting a life and moved on.

No sooner did I get checked into my hotel room did the little demon in my head suggest it would be great for me to go back on base and see how many losers are going to be waiting in line to see the show. Certainly there can't be TOO MANY geeks that would stand hours on end waiting for the premiere showing of some stupid film all the way in Butt-Fuck Korea, right?

WRONG

By this time it was 8:30 at night and the line had grown immeasurably.







Holy shit! This thing serpentined AROUND itself completely before turning around the corner and going down the sidewalk on the other side. I knew the majority of Air Force people were losers with no real lives outside of the military (myself included), but this really took the fucking cake! I mean Jeezus Fucking Christ people! Look at this shit! It's uncalled for! I start snapping photos like a mad-man and tell people how I'm going to insult them on this blog. A few actually found that idea to be amusing.



And there was even some retard dressed up like a goddamned Storm Trooper too! This asshole probably threw away a sizable chunk of change for the gay outfit, just so he could parade around in public like some fruit-loop and get some attention. Still, I suppose he does have the balls to wear something so lame like this in public, he does deserve an ounce of respect in that sense - NAAAAAAAAHH! Who am I kidding? Throw some Vulcan ears on the dork, or some Klingon prosthetic forehead instead of a shitty Empire outfit, and it's all the same disease either way.



For shits and grins I decide to go see what the end of the line looked like. This was it. A blonde chick with a fat ass. Fitting, I suppose.

Just a side note, why izzit that the majority of Sci-Fi nerds have weight problems? Primarily the goddamned Trekkies but some of the Star Wars geeks too. It's something I just don't understand. And why izzit they all have poor hygiene to match? Nevermind. Back to the topic at hand.

Next thing I know, the line starts moving. Fast. Holy shit! People are actually going to see the film! Once again, I figured I would test my luck and see how far I actually got in the line before they said the theater was full. Some flyboys decided to cut in line with their Beautiful People friends and their Beautiful People wives, equating their piloting abilities to line-jumping privileges as well. One chick that was with her WASP pilot boyfriend/husband actually looked pretty hot. Take Jackie O and Natalie Portman and slam them together, and this is what she looked like. Sounds totally fucking weird but believe me, I woulda banged her 9 ways from Sunday even though she was flat as a board and Paris Hilton-skinny. I tried taking a pic of her too but I could never get a decent shot.

The line continued to serpentine around the sidewalk until I made it to the manager dude that was checking tickets. Because I didn't have a ticket that had been purchased in advance, I couldn't go in. Oh well I figured it was worth a shot anyways, but then the dude tells me to wait just a second and he would sell me one anyways. Okay. This should be interesting. No sooner than 5 minutes pass and I'm in like Flynn.

I make my way into the theater and the place is PACKED. I was out of memory on my camera by now so I couldn't take any more photos, otherwise I would include it here. I managed to find an open seat up in the front. Not too close but just right. The Fag-Trooper is sitting 4 rows behind me it turns out and the Jackie O/Natalie Portman chick is sitting right behind me with her WASP aviator for bragging rights. She gives me this "Go to Hell" look the way most Beautiful People chicks do when they see me undressing them with my eyes. Can I help it if I'm staring at her tits?

Some high school nerds are sitting adjacent from me too - only they're the wanna-be goth chicks that are equal parts wigger and equal parts punk, and can't make up their minds which trend to follow. Now as much as I bag on Air Force people for not having personalities, I feel somewhat sorry for the teen-agers of military parents. I mean, it sucks bad enough being a teen, and then you have your parents' bullshit to contend with usually - however as a military teen they take it one step further and you have the whole military environment to contend with. You really can't rebel or experiement with social trends since you're expected to conform to the same bullshit mindset your parents are forced to. Even something so benign as having multiple piercings in the same ear is considered "extreme" by military standards. See what I mean?

Anycase they're dorking out as well and have brought fucking light sabers with them as well. I suppose Star Wars nerds start at any age. The movie finally starts and people start screaming and cheering at the opening title. While I'm not going to spoil the movie for people who haven't seen it, I will say that watching the dude become Darth Vader was truly liberating and a kick-ass thing to see. For once, the Bad Guys win!!! Yay Evil!!!!

After the film ended, everyone was talking how better it was over the first 2 films. Frankly I could've cared less. The way I figured it, Natalie Portman was in all 3 films and gave me some serious wood. The films could've revolved around her drinking coffee and reading femin-nazi lesbian poetry and I wouldn't have noticed either way. I hope that now that she's done making these kid films, she'll take her career more seriously and do something more provacative in nature like 9 1/2 Weeks or Wild Things.

Like I've said previously, I'm not one to run out and buy all sorts of movie-related merchandise, no matter how good a film may be. I'll buy a shit load of rock shirts because that's how the artists make money in addition to touring since record companies usually give them 3 cents to the album sold, and what they're doing actually requires talent, instead of standing before a camera and having the script girl feed you your line if you forget it.

No matter how cool a film may be with its special effects or over-the-top action adventures, it still pales in comparison to seeing a band like Slayer or Deicide perform on stage in front of screaming fans. I've gotten laid as a result of going to concerts, but NEVER from attending a sci-fi film or Anime convention. People that usually attend concerts are cool and lead interesting lives, whereas all fan-boys do is sit around and watch Deep Space Nine re-runs while debating similarities between video games like Halo or Half-Life 2. Sure they may pull in $40-50k a year easy but see how long they would last at a Dimmu Borgir concert!

Besides, when's the last time you got to shake Luke Skywalker's hand after a movie?

Black Label Society Concert 17&18 May 05

This is Club Quattro. Nestled away within the bowels of the Shibuya district of Tokyo, it is one hard motherfucker to find. It is a sports outlet on the first 3 floors and a night club that seats roughly 6-700 people on the 4th & 5th floors. Talk about a stark contrast.

I had been here the first time in 2003 to catch Zakk Wylde perform with his band the Black Label Society and spent a better portion of the day trying to locate this place, despite having recieved directions from a cute Japanese girl at the near-by Tower Records. Having not been back for 2 years, I was surprised how with relative ease I was able to rediscover its location. Like Lemmings plummeting to their deaths off a cliff, I too was lead by instinct to this sea of rock n roll.



Upon seeing this sign I knew I was definitely in the right spot! Sweet! Zakk was scheduled to play for 2 nights here, 17 & 18 May and no way was I about to fucking miss it for the world. Fuck no! My justification was that for the past 10 months I've been stuck hiberating in Korea and this was the first good thing to come along that gave me reason to wake up and get out of my shell. The whole 'Mom and Dad are watching' mentality is virtually non-existant in Japan, unlike the ROK. Leadership is so much more relaxed and for all the right reasons in my opinion. I figured I would hang out and be the first in line to grab a kick-ass spot up in the front. Last time I waited I met Zakk and his wife Barbara-Ann before the concert since they showed up 2 hours early before the show began. I spoke with his wife for a little bit, thanking her for what she and Zakk have both done to bring something so wonderful to this part of the world. They're both really great down-to-earth people. Honestly.

I decide after a while of waiting with nothing showing up, I would go get something to eat at the nearby McDonald's just down the street, when I bump into this weird looking dude named Terry. Terry flew all the way from Tennessee to give Zakk a custom made guitar he did for him and thought I was somehow part of the roadcrew. I was wearing my BLS Harley vest, the same kind they wear, which was easy to mistake me as being with the band.



"Are you looking for the club?" he enquired me as I turned around to see who it was that was talking.

"No, actually I've already found it - thanks!" I replied back.

This guy reminded me of the manager dude from the movie Rock Star starring Mark Wahlberg from a few years ago, in which (ironically enough), Zakk has a part in the film where he plays a guitarist for the band Steel Dragon. Anycase, not to digress, Terry is what you get if you were a stoner from the 80's that has partied too much and still thinks that now is then. The dude was in his mid-40's, reeked of day-old beer and smelled like a nasty high school gym locker room that had soured over the weekend before the janitor came in and opened the windows first thing Monday morning. Yes, that fucking nasty.

Terry starts to tell me stories how him and Zakk partied in Los Angeles the Friday before flying out here by drinking one another crazy. Now I've seen Zakk chug 10 beers at his concerts and the man can hold his own. Judging from the looks of Terry's enormous beer gut, I could say the same about him. Anycase, he goes on to say how he's going to hang with Zakk later and I tell him how much I would appreciate it if I could meet the guy too. After all, I've flown all the way from Butt-Fuck Korea to see the show and Zakk's a big supporter of the military. Certainly Terry can pull some strings for me backstage!

Hell no.

Terry just says that shit to impress people and use it like some special kind of power. The way I figured it, this was one of the few things in his life he could brag about not fucking up, and wasn't about to let anyone else join in on the fun. I suppose if I were in the same boat as he was (aging Hessian loser with not a dime to his name), I would hold on to what little scraps of achievement I could too.

We continue talking for a while and then from out of nowhere, the roadcrew pops out from behind us at Club Quattro and slip out for a bite to eat. They had come through the back door to set up the stage and had finished early.



The dude in the middle with the Amish beard is named Stewie. I'll get to him in a little bit. I thanked the roadcrew for doing such a kick-ass job taking care of Zakk and all his shit since it's truly a team effort to make a concert run smoothly, and these guys don't get shit for recognition. They scampered off to the nearby Outback Steakhouse just around the corner which was the last I saw of them before the show started. Terry asked if they were set up and he went inside to see what was going on.

People start to slowly gather and by this time it's close to 6pm. All of a sudden, ZAKK FUCKING WYLDE shows up - like the roadcrew - by using the back entrance. HOLY SHIT!



People start rushing Zakk for an autograph as he's trying to get to the elevator. Since I'm the only person there that speaks English fluently, I muster the courage to say something to him.

"Hey bro! Thanks for coming out tonight! Your shows kick ASS!" I said without trying to sound too much like a pussy.

"Thanks man. Tonight's show is gonna be great - I need to go put my tampon in before we start." he replied jokingly.

One thing I admire about Zakk is how fucking down-to-earth the guy really is. I know I said that already, but I had to drive the point home once more.

By now I was REALLY excited for the show to begin! Fucking A! I'm going to get a great spot now! Right?

Wrong.

The Japanese, in their perpetual quest for efficiency and organization have decided to assign people NUMBERS on the bottom of each concert ticket, dictating when they're allowed to enter the building.

You've got to be shitting me.

I've waited 4 goddamned hours in line just to be the first! Fuck if I'm going to let some slope bastard tell me I've gotta let some dickhead that shows up 10 minutes before the show starts ahead of me because his number is lower than mine! Fuck him AND the asshole with the lower ticket number! I was number 371 or something when I looked at the bottom of my ticket. So that means I have to let 370 people ahead of me.

Goddammit.

Okay. I'm going to cause a scene, I mean after all there has to be plenty of kick ass spots available once I get in. And sure enough there was.

Once again, the Japanese in their quest for efficiency and organization like sitting towards the back of the bar instead of the front where it gets crowded and stuffy. Perhaps it's a metropolitan thing or they're just trying to be chic like Yoko Ono - who the fuck knows - but I was able to get a sweet spot in front, just 2 rows back.

No sooner did the concert start than the Japs all start pushing their way forward and it becomes a giant JapMachineOrgy of flailing limbs and body fluids flying aimlessly. The only cool thing about being crammed so close together is that if some Japanese chick touched my ass or something, it would be the first sex I had experienced in quite a long time. And let's just leave things at that.

One thing I like about seeing Black Label Society perform in Japan is the fact there is no shitty opening act you have to suffer through before the main event. It's 2 1/2 hours of pure BLS bliss. Zakk comes out on stage and the motherfucker looks like a viking. 6'2, the fucker is stacked like a brick shit house and can kick all your fucking asses without breaking a sweat. His presence is that commanding. And he plays guitar like it's nobody fucking business too. He breaks out one song after another - new shit from the Mafia CD that just released, as well as some of his previous shit from Blessed Hellride and 1919 Eternal. Because he used to play with Ozzy Ozbourne, he has a carte blanche agreement that he can play any Ozzy/Sabbath tunes at his shows without having to pay royalties. Pretty fucking sweet, huh? Mama, I'm coming home was played the first night and Iron Man was played the second night. Kick ass. He played a tribute song to "Dimebag" Darryl Abbott in the middle of the concert and Genocide Junkies as a salute to all US servicemembers as the very last song of the night. According to him, every concert ends with him paying tribute to the jobs we do, and does it out of respect for his dad who was a WWII vet.

Remember how Zakk throws down beer like a fucking mad-man? Well, he had 10 beers on the amplifiers and by night's end they were all gone. They had been consumed or thrown onto the audience as he chugged them in between songs, and I got splashed with one each night. I consider it as my baptism into the Black Label Society Tokyo Chapter. My christening had become official the second night when I caught the very last concert shirt he threw into the audience. I swear, he must've known I was military or something and made a fucking bee-line straight at me when he pitched it.



After the concert as people were piling out of the club, I met up with Stewie the roadie and we bullshit for a little bit. I told him I was in the military and he thought it was cool as fuck and how much respect he had for us all. I told him it was because of concerts and the ability to have rock music I tolerate the majority of the bullshit the military throws at me, because at the end of a day I turn to music to blow off steam and recharge my batteries. Not religion, not politics, not sex or family or community has been able to provide me the same comfort music has. It's been there through good times and bad times alike.




It wasn't too long before the band members came out to sign autographs. This is Nick Catanese, the back-up guitarist for Zakk. Nick is cool as fuck and let me snap this pic, despite the asshole Jap bouncer that told me repeatedly not to do it. Fuck you, you dick! It's a public street and you have no right telling me what I can and can't do!




James LoMenzo - this dude plays bass for Zakk and is the god-father of his daughter. James was cool as fuck too. Laid back and chilled, even when on stage. This is a really shitty pic and apologize for such poor quality.

The drummer, Craig Nunamacher, is missing from the photos. If I get one I'll post it here later. He's a crazy motherfucker too!

Zakk didn't stick around too long. He came out of the club and within a flash was in the mini-van and gone. I guess he just wasn't feeling it that night.




Here's a pic of some of the cool Japanese dudes that showed up to the concert on the first night. One thing I really notice missing at alot of metal concerts is the fair amount of chicks and over-abundance of dudes. It's a fucking sausage-fest and unless you're Rob Halford of Judas Priest you're gonna wanna see tits and hopefully score some free poo-nani. I hate to say it but I've scored more trim at a They Might Be Giants concert than at any band I've seen perform live. Too bad they don't tour in this neck of the woods!


The second night of the concert was more chilled out than anything else. Stewie came out on the stage with a bullhorn and started spouting some hillbilly nonsense gibberish getting the crowd to sing along saying "Oh yeaaaaaah ~!" for about 5 minutes. Naturally the Japanese don't understand the majority of what he's saying and just go with the flow. Once again, I take advantage of being fluent in English and when he starts throwing jokes out to the crowd, I fire some obnoxious shit right back.

"I slept with yo' momma last night!" he proclaimed loudly.

"I'M SORRY! I scream right back.

He starts busting up laughing and replies back:

"I'm only joking."

"So was she!!"

But the funniest part is when Nick Catanese came out on stage wearing a fucking Darth Vader mask like the shitty kind in the Misawa photographs and tries to push the button to do the James Earl Jones voice, only to get it wrong. The Japanese all start singing the Darth Vader song as he comes out and start laughing their asses off. After he leaves the stage, Zakk does a 20 minute acoustic solo which almost brought tears to my eyes, it was that beautiful, to have the band re-emerge for the next song with Craig Nunemacher wearing the Darth Vader helmet portion sans face plate like a World War II Nazi soldier. You can really tell they enjoy what they do for a living.

As much as I wanted to stick around after the concert to shoot the bullshit with Zakk and the guys, I had a train to catch back to Yokota Air Base where I was staying and it takes roughly an hour and a half to travel from Shibuya Hachiko Station to Fussa station, and didn't want to risk missing the last train out. As efficient and organized as the Japanese are, they don't fuck around when it comes to keeping a schedule. You're either present or you're not when it comes to trains, buses, planes, and any other form of transportation or schedule to be kept. So I took off like a bat out of Hell, thanking the powers that be for the 2 best fucking nights I've had this year to date. Hell yeah.



This is the crew from the second night that showed up. Some Japanese guy, some Canadian guy, myself acting like some jack-ass and some German dude.

Fucking goddamned sausage-fest, I know.

More Random Shit

Okay. Like I took a bunch of random photos from visiting Youngsan, I took a shit load more while I was in Japan. To be fair, I will break them up between my trip to Misawa and my trip to Tokyo. This should be really fun.

Misawa:



Misawa when it's not raining or snowing (rare).



The infamous Puke Park I was talking about.




Most people would just give you the finger. He goes one step further!



I don't know who this car belongs to, but that creme color looks like absolute SHIT. Fast & Furious, HE AIN'T!



This 'Endo' fag went all over Misawa spraying his name around. I hope the fucker gets his ass kicked for faking the funk.



I ditched this futon next to an abandoned car a year ago and it's still sitting there! Holy shit! It's weather-beaten as fuck but probably still sleeps comfortably.



Holy Shit! Kerry King from Slayer! That guitar is too sweet!



That fucking goddamned Ham-taro is up Ronald's ass.




The ultimate Anime nerd's wet dream. I wonder how many fan boys have creamed their jeans walking by this exhibit?



Tokyo:



The Tokyo Fag Twins.



My fave place to party when in the Rappongi district.



Ultra-gayness in the Tokyo Metro.



The Ueno district of Tokyo - where the Machine loves to party too!



Shibuya district where all the freaks hang out.



I'd go here and stock up on goods if I ever got laid.



Fucking wicked! Make a wish and if it comes true then you color in the other eye.



Ultra-Gayness knows no boundaries. It knows no barriers.



This is where you can get laid but I'm not about to spend $300 for a piece of ass. Besides, those girls don't know where I've been!



Fucking awesome Dr Pepper can. Wonder if they have the same marketing in the States?



Jeezus Christ. I seriously need a life.