Twenty Years

Ha Ha Ha

Holy shit.

TWENTY YEARS IN GERMANY!!!!!

(What a wild fucking ride it's been!)

I had no idea getting off the flight from BWI to Rhein-Main, 20 years ago to the day, that I would spend more time in one location than I could've imagined. I came here from Korea, full of rage, anger, and hatred for how I had been treated over there, as well as the fact that I didn't make rank then. (Rumor has it that nobody at Kunsan made Tech Sgt. in 2005, due to the extremely high cut-off score at the time). I had a grudge, a score to settle, and most of all, I wasn't taking anymore bullshit from women. Either shit or get off the pot. Don't waste my fucking time. I had become assertive to the point where I no longer gave a damn, and it showed.

My sponsor who picked me up from the airport, insisted that I go out to eat for schnitzel, since it would be my first official meal in Germany. I was tired, jet-lagged (I never sleep on international flights), and had been up for over 24 hours at the time. I just wanted to go to bed and then talk about maybe eating German cuisine after I had gotten some good shut-eye. Nope. Had to do it right away. All I remember was that her husband looked like a human penis head, and their friends didn't know how to behave in public. The guy friend was a raging asshole to his wife, and she just suffered through being embarrassed by his shitty behavior the entire evening. What a way to make a first impression. I never saw them again, but that first evening in this country will always stick with me.

Perhaps it shouldn't of surprised me, since my sponsor also turned out to be a royal fucking bitch, despite my never insulting her. Within a short time, I saw how she behaved like she was on some kind of hot-girl-bitch power trip at work, even though she wasn't hot. Even if she got herself dolled up, she looked like the type of person who smelled like sour milk, despite how much time she spent putting on make-up and doing her hair. I laughed at her behind her back. Within a year, her and her human penis head husband both got orders back to the States, to whatever shit hole Air Force Base that I forget. Another person who made a lasting impression.

Instead of recounting my time here, I'll just tell you to reread all my previous posts by clicking on the links to the right of this page. Yep, they're still up. I haven't changed a thing. Why would I? This serves as a journal and a personal reflection in my life. It's been fucked up, chaotic, confusing and distressing at times, but who's life hasn't been? What's fucking wild is that this shit-stain of a blog has over 50,000 views. How? I mean, I had friends link my blog to their blog, as well as some famous pop artists (COOP), and even a national blogger who rode the coat tails of Tucker Max to get her popularity (Erin Tyler aka The Bunny), but I'm by no means a mainstream person or a pop culture flavor of the month. I'm some fucking weirdo introvert who has lead a painfully solitary life for most of his existence. It was only 10 years ago that I found someone just as fucked up as I am who agreed to marry me. It's been an adjustment, you could say.

I have to bring up the fact that between 2005 - 2007, the Air Force was going after people left and right, who had blogs. I remember one guy who was in the California National Guard up in Sacramento got kicked out for his blog "How to Kill People" based on the title alone. Never mind the fact that it was a dark comedy blog and a parody of his own life, no, no, no, just the title alone gave the Air Force the willies. I think he was a chauffer for some general at the time, although he never spilled any details. There was also Joe The Fat, who ran a message board where people could vent about stupid military crap. It was known as Chair-Force.com and it was fucking hilarious. My good friend Randy turned me on to it when we were at Misawa, back in 2003/4 timeframe. Joe even briefly made national attention when his website was featured in a magazine or two, as a back page article, or just a paragraph. The notoriety even allowed him to meet Tucker Max. (I met up with Joe and his girlfriend at the time -now wife- in August 2005 before flying over here. Hilarity did ensue, but not in the way that you would've thought). There was even the "Coed Naked AEF" blog in 2006 that got the owner kicked out (again due to the title of the blog, not because there was any spicy content), even though the blog itself was dedicated to people having fun off duty, while deployed to remote locations. It was a very PG-rated blog from what I briefly remember. All of this took the Air Force by storm, and it was on a witch hunt because engaging in social media was somehow "taboo". It even extended to people who had photos of them holding a glass of wine at a dinner party on their My Space account (ha ha remember that?), or enjoying a beer at Oktoberfest in Munchen. I don't know how, but this blog was spared. Nobody approached me at work, or knocked on my door at home. While others were getting scalped left and right, my blog was somehow bulletproof. (Funny side note, once I went to the Andrews AFB library to use their computers, and this blog was blocked due to "violence". I had to laugh because at that time, I didn't have any such graphic imagery written). Then, a year later, all of that went away seemingly overnight, when Big Blue decided to embrace social media, since My Space, Facebook and Twitter  were becoming mainstream. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief, but still had to watch my p's and q's. 

Now, nobody reads blogs anymore. The only "visitor" I get on a recurrent basis is the Amazon bots that ping my page on a daily basis. Why? Because I have a link to their website for the KMFDM album that you should be listening to (I really need to update that section, but to be honest, even I no longer listen to KMFDM). Blogs are so 2005, and here we are living in a world of tweets, Instagram and Tik-Tok posts. Anything that doesn't last more than 10 seconds doesn't capture the interest of the infantile masses anymore. The few regulars that I had, have moved on and have widely forgotten about this little corner of the internet. Just like Tucker Max, The Bunny, and Maddox (anyone else remember that guy?) this blog has faded into obscurity. 

I will say that by in large, I've come to terms with a few things since my time in the military, but only because I've had time to decompress from that experience, to be able to develop and grow as an individual, and no longer be harassed by power-tripping assholes that reinforce the toxic culture of the Air Force. I can tell people to fuck off if they deserve it, and it's not going to impact my career. I can vote with my feet if I think a supervisor or a work place isn't treating me right. I'm still at odds with some residual things, but for the most part I've moved on, and am better for doing so. I've enjoyed knowing the other bloggers who were popular at the time, as well as the few fans that I had. To show my appreciation, I had some Short Bus Mafia t-shirts made and mailed it to them if they wanted one. The only stipulation was that they had to send me a photo of them wearing it (which most did).

While I've taken a back-burner to all the concerts, video games, and touring places, I will say that I've had an overall better quality of life in Germany, than I would've had I returned to the States after my original time at Ramstein had ended. Even the greats eventually settle down and retire, and I'm no different in that regard either. I'm quite content being a nobody. Being invisible. I still keep this blog going, although it's been considerably less (as you've seen). I really don't care to so well known and I'm quite fine with that. Here's to another 20 years in Germany.

Heh.