Wood Chipper

Today I was mowing my yard since the German days usually remain light until about 9 or 9:30 pm now and I got to thinking how all this grass resembles people I would love to mow over. Cut them down like the grass shoots they are.

Or better yet, get a WOOD CHIPPER like the kind you see in the New Jersey Municipal State Parks and throw an asshole or two in them while it's operating at full speed.

Oh it would make great mulching for the ground, but why stop there?

You can have all sorts of fun with a wood chipper. For example:

You can throw poodles in. I fucking HATE POODLES.

Hamsters. I FUCKING HATE HAMSTERS TOO.

CATS.

THOSE GODDAMNED ANNOYING TALKING ELMO DOLLS.

PENGUINS.

But most of all I hate those STUPID FUCKING PINATAS YOU SEE AT THE SAN DIEGO/TIJUANA BORDER.

You know the kind I'm talking about - the fucking cheap-ass imitation SPONGE BOB pinata or the fucking wanna-be POWER RANGER pinata. Or what about that annoying DORA THE EXPLORER BITCH? Fucking Christ. Every time I go to the gym to exercise I see her stupid face plastered on the TV screen. It's bad enough I have to stare at some 300 pound dependant wife wearing spandex - speaking of which -

I saw SISTER CHRISTIAN'S mother at the gym working out. SHE'S FUCKING HUGE. I had to do a double-take at first and I told DORK to check it out while we were doing curls. I thought I was about to puke, shit my pants and piss myself as a survival defense mechanism I was so revolted by her appearance, and was afraid the giant she-beast was going to some how devour me as her next meal. Yet oddly enough Sister Christian resembles little of her right now. She's still thin with these huge fucking tits that could give Dolly Parton's black eyes some black eyes. (WTF is that supposed to mean?) If it's true that everyone woman in the end will turn out to physically resemble her mother in one shape or form or another then I better stick to going blind from jerking off. At least the memory will be etched in my mind.

But not to chase a rabbit there......

I've been getting mild angina pectoris symptoms lately.

No shit.

I've been stressed out like a motherfucker from all this goddamned work I'm not even in the mood for a good argument, which I usually enjoy. My blood pressure is seriously through the roof right now and I'm quite certain if I don't do something about it I'll get a cerebral aneurysm or perhaps a petit mal seizure of some sort.

If I do end up suffering a stroke from a CVA, someone please do me a favor -

Throw my body into a fucking wood chipper but make sure the gore showers the PTA and all those self-righteous assholes out there as my last great act of defiance. And then blame it on rock music, video games, and the internet.

And Hepatitis C.

Feral

It's almost been a year since I left Korea and I'm just not adapting well to life as we know it.

Hear me out - this isn't some whiney bitch session or someone looking for some therapy group - fuck that. This is merely an explanation as to what goes on inside my head day in and day out when I have to interact with people, agencies, and what not that are so accustomed to having it way fucking easy and don't have the first clue as to what it's like to live somewhere with little freedoms presented to them.

Korea is one such place where you're in a prison-style environment depending on where you go. Not so much up towards Seoul but get away from the big city to some of these smaller camps or air bases and it's quite obvious how oppresive things are run. Everything is controlled from the cinder block barracks room you stay in to the merchandise you're allowed to purchase. Because black marketing is so rampant they track peoples spending habits very closely as well. Your ability to travel is severely restricted since the majority of people are not allowed a personal vehicle and even so there's a curfew in effect most of the time. WHERE you can travel is also restricted to include local facilities that are deemed "off limits". All of this is done in the name of "security" reasons yet for a country on the "brink of war" I felt safer up by the DMZ than I did when I visited New York City. I had armed North Korean guards staring at me too, mind you.

Anycase you're only allowed minimal possessions while over there since it's considered a "remote" assignment and if you're not applying yourself by attending school or volunteering for some feel-good charity when you're off duty, chances are you're drinking yourself into oblivion or doing something equally self-destructive. I won't go into details. Now mix this all in with the continual training and preparing for a war that will most likely never happen and the anti-American sentiment that has been growing ever so slowly the past 50 years or so and it all takes its toll. While I've never done jail time in my life I'm quite certain that if I ever did end up behind bars I'd be better prepared for the initial shock of prison life than perhaps some CEO or soccer mom commiting a white collar crime would. In such a harsh environment you learn quickly who you really are and it rubs off on you one way or the other. Most people that go there only last a year and then never bother doing another remote assignment since the separation from family and friends is just too much to ask for.

Not me.

I've done 4 remote assignments over there now and it has been the "norm" for me, as fucked up and as dysfunctional as the place is. I feel as if I've become feral in nature and trying to introduce me back into society after being there so many times just isn't working the way it should. For example - I avoid most anything that has to do with children - they can be well behaved or throwing a fucking temper tantrum but I want nothing to do with them either way. I don't hate children but I don't know how to interact to them anymore. The same goes for all the domesticated people who have never shared the same experience or a similar experience even once. If I go to a bar or to some social gathering I just see scared animated puppets for the most part chasing whatever bullshit fantasy lie they've been fed by the media. They chase oblivion by filling their empty souls with the latest fashion, the "coolest" new beverage and parrot whatever media celebrity is currently popular with their trite sayings and anecdotes. They see me and while they can't put their fingers on it, they know that I'm different from they are despite my ordinary appearance and polite (but very distant) behavior.

I hate the sight of mini-vans and SUVs. I don't give two shits if you have tickets to the Lakers game for next Wednesday night or whatever. Who gives a fuck what Conan O'Brien said on Late Night or what the stupid article in Maxim magazine says about improving your sex life. Golf sucks and all you stupid assholes that can't survive one minute without your cell phones or your Starbuck's coffee need to shut the fuck up. You're pathetic. Take your goddamned Ipod and shove it up your fucking ass, and your fucking Blackberry while you're at it too. See if it still gets wireless service all the way up in your descending colon you fucking moron.

I will never fully reintegrate with society and that's a fact. While I might blend in I will always be forever changed from my experiences over there and will avoid most people who have no idea. I have become feral in a sense and would love to do all sorts of shit that I won't go into details about in this medium, since I have no desire to return to a prison style environment. Primal. Instead I will say that if you can relate to Chuck Palahaniuk's Fight Club then you have a basic concept of what goes through my mind day in and day out. Counseling, therapy, psychology or whatever crybaby bullshit band-aid you want to call it is a fucking crock and a waste of time. Learn to deal with your fucking problems I say - don't hide behind some over-priced pill or abstract concept being droned into your head from some asshole who died over 100 years ago. I won't even if it kills me some day.



You go through the fire enough times and nothing can stop you.


I'm one with the fire.

X-Men 3 movie

Today I go watch the new X-Men movie at the kino with ZHOMBIE and STACY. The movie rocked since they had alot of people getting fucked up and shit the way a good supernatural movie SHOULD be - replace mutants with angels and demons fighting eachother and the lines are easily blurred. While I won't spoil the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I will say that they're definitely going for the whole open-ended sequel (part 4) since they have a little blurb after the credits which sets everything up for the next installment. Zhombie is getting to be a little too antsy around Stacy. I swear that tonight he practically wanted to hump her leg or something after the show. Jeezus Christ dude - chill the fuck out. I haven't been laid in forever and a day but goddammit - I've got control over my 5 senses just as much as the next person does. Anycase I've started a much delayed game on my PS2 - SILENT HILL 3. The original SILENT HILL was all Satanic as fuck, but SILENT HILL 2 was toned down considerably. Why Konami did that I dunno, but they made up for lost time with the third installment. Granted this game has been out since 2003 but I haven't gotten around to playing it until now finally. Consider it a renewal in interest. I'd rather see another film from this series than some stupid movie like DA VINCI CODE. What a stinker. I figure I've got this week to play as much that I want to since school starts next week and my time will be consumed with the next level of German. It's a pain in the ass but worth it in the long run, the way I see it. I have little to no desire to return to the States for the time being since so many damn political groups are fucking everything up in my opinion and will stay put until things improve. If Hillary ends up becoming President I'll look for citizenship over here possibly - I'll have to see how things are going first.

Get off my Goddamned Nerves already

Having relatives visit is fun - for about a week or so at the very most, and then it's time for them to leave. Every time I go home to visit my relatives, usually the novelty of it all wears off about the second week and then I can't tolerate to be around them, and vice versa.

I have relatives visiting me here and the same thing is happening. THEY'RE GETTING ON MY GODDAMNED NERVES ALREADY. I can't even sit still for 5 seconds and take a dump, they're that time consuming!

Luckily for me, I've come up with a solution - it's called a BURLAP BAG. Yes, when dear old MOM is fast asleep or isn't paying attention, I can tie her up in the burlap sack and throw her down the flight of stairs into my basement, and then close the door so I don't have to listen to her bitching and kvetching all the time. I mean really. Jeezus Fucking Christ people. I have to put up with bullshit all day long at work and then go home to more nagging and headache-inducing drama. The shit just ain't worth it.

Speaking of fucking nerves, ZHOMBIE is starting to act like a bitch too, now that STACY is working with me. He's coming over more often at work and even stopped by unexpected last night - completely unannounced. Normally that shit pisses me off to no end however Zhombie's been acting weird lately and I think he's doing it to see just how far he can use me to get down her panties. Come to think of it, he's a candidate for the BURLAP SACK too, and can keep my mother company in the basement!


Eh.


And of course there's always WONDER WOMAN who deserves most of all to be thrown in the BURLAP SACK and thrown down the flight of stairs with everyone else. Goddammit she's been creating more work for me with her stupid, inane bullshit. Her an WET BLANKET both! Fuck! Four people I gotta do this to now! Goddammit! This shit just ain't worth it!

Crowbar over the head or perhaps a blackjack if I wanna show some compassion.


Nah.

Back tomorrow

Sorry kids. I can't bitch and fuss and call all you assholes names tonight - The Machine has his GERMAN FINAL tomorrow and must prepare! During the review last night I felt like complete dog shit over the chapters my teacher covered but since I got a B+ on the mid-term don't feel so bad. It should all come back once I sit down and can focus myself directly. But I've got another topic I'll address tomorrow after the final. It should be fun seeing people's reactions.

Sunday Driving

Fuck. Today I can finally catch a breather although I have more German fucking homework than I know what to do with. Better start cracking! I have a presentation tomorrow in class as well as the final on Wednesday to prepare for. It's definitely going to be a wild ride. I hate the Autobahn because it's so poorly planned out. I don't know who the fucking assholes who designed it were, but half the road signs are easy to miss if you're not paying attention or if some stupid truck is blocking the exit indicator. And I thought these assholes were renowned for efficiency. The same goes for Frankfurt International Airport too. Mother's Day is a nightmare no matter where you go. I took my mom out today for lunch and every goddamned screaming brat was crying in unison it seemed. The Commissary, the BX, the restaurant....it's like weekends are prime time for miserable families to get out and share their burden with everyone else. If I ever get settled down and have kids, I'll keep them well behaved. No fucking tantrums in public, that's for certain. Saw STACY walking around today and gave her a ride. Yep. She's a total dork. We were discussing that stupid bullshit Final Fantasy: Advent Children movie today of all things. Jeezus Fucking Christ. Video game talk with the new troop. I gave her a ride over to the library so she could check her e-mail and then took off. I got a phone call today from a visiting reservist that's pissed because she left a bunch of her personal shit in the GOV we were letting her use, and how she no longer now has means of transportation to getting around. I get this phone call asking me "what I'm going to do about it" and explained that everything that "I" needed to do has already been taken care of. I wasn't about to stick my dick in the mashed potatos on this one, and told her that vehicle abuse isn't to be tolerated, and how she can take a taxi or the shuttle bus in order to get to and from work if need be. She started to get huffy at first but told her to take it up with our chain. Let them deal with the topic. Anycase...... So now that I've got this new audience, I think I'll throw this into the Kool-Aid mix: I asked that ckhnat chick this question and I'll say the same thing here. Why are you Christians all following a religion based on Middle Eastern beliefs? Unless you're Jewish (read: 100% kosher) chances are you're of European, African, Asian or Latino background most likely, and have no idea what our original beliefs and traditions were. Thanks to the Romans and the Catholic Church, the majority of pagan knowledge has been all but forgotten and religious sites have churchs built over them now, where temples and open ground once stood. Celtic heritage has been reduced down to nothing more than a chapter or two in most history books, with the occasional comic book idiot wearing a t-shirt or sporting a tribal band tattoo just because it "looks cool". Had it not been for Charlemagne, Germany would still have its Teutonic influences and Scandanavian countries would still have their Nordic roots. The Europeans, while perhaps not as sophisticated as the Egyptians or the Romans at the time, had very much an active culture, as witnessed in midieval reliefs and artwork of The Green Man or Sheela-na-Gig on the sides of churches everywhere. Despite having to erect monuments to someone claiming to be the son of a Hebrew god, the true intentions of the artisans was prevailent. Of course today we dare not insult the Pacific Islanders or the Africans when they have a carving of their gods on display or when Native Americans wear their ceremonial gear for ritual purposes since it would be deemed "insensitive" or "racist", yet let someone wear a pentagram or a Thor's Hammer and the Christian's won't think twice about going up their ass with an iron glove. So, why izzit you're all following a Middle-Eastern system of belief? Spare me the "Road to Romans" speech - I've heard it a zillion times. Put down the Bible, forget all the indoctrination from the pulpit, and discuss why it is you choose to follow a group of people our ancestors had no original knowledge of.

More Random Shit Because I'm Too Lazy to Think of a Title

Heh.

The new chick seems brain dead. Of course when you've been up for 24 hours without sleep you're running on impulse power you behave like a walking corpse too. I figure I'll give her some time to get over the jet-lag before I cast any real stones but time will tell eventually. And she could stand to lose 40 pounds minimum. And she's a goddamned Trekkie.

I am curious why I am suddenly getting all these hits from Christian blogs. Listen all you Christians - I leave you the fuck alone and expect the same in return. You have no business visiting this blog so stay the fuck away. I think the Christians are finally on to me, although none of them have the balls to directly engage me. Perhaps they think that by "praying" they will somehow turn me around. Nope. Not happening. Sorry to disappoint. And who is the asshole from Battle Ground Washington that keeps reading my shit? I think I know who it is too - amuse me by writing me directly at shortbusmafia@yahoo.com, providing you finally got your shit together and got a Yahoo or Hotmail account like I told you to.

Normally I am a slow runner and can barely do a mile and a half in under 12 minutes. Seems like today I was hauling ass during the office run. I don't know if it's sad or disgusting that most the people I work with are severely out of shape. I'll stick with the latter.

My Silent Hill UMD for the PSP is getting better and better it seems. Granted it's the same stuff I've seen a dozen times but I'm really digging it. Perhaps I'll brush off the dust and play the PS2 again, providing things simmer down.

Speaking of dorky video game nerds, GRANDMA'S BOY is out on DVD finally. I picked it up today and will most likely watch it before going to bed. I am dead fucking tired from walking up early and having to pick up the new chick whom I will refer to as STACY if I ever write about her. I need to do homework, clean house, and mow the lawn all before Sunday. Somehow I'll get the shit done.

Why izzit that everyone who is "Pagan" or "Wiccan" dresses like some douchebag? I mean Hot Topic clothing, or dyeing their hair some stupid fucked up color. At least us Satanists try to BLEND IN with our environments (at least the smart ones do anyhow). No wonder nobody takes them seriously.

Finally if I get the chance, Marie Meier is hosting an artshow this week in France and next week in Baden-Wurrtemberg, which is just a stone's throw away from me. I would love to meet her in person. She's hot and does fucking hella cool artwork. And I will be able to speak dirty French instead of dirty German for a change.


Tchuss!

This too shall pass

My German final is next week and I figure I need to start doing a review now since the weekend is going to be so fucking chaotic. Here's what it's going to look like for me: Tomorrow drive my ass up to Frankfurt and pick up the new troop. This requires me waking up at 4 in the goddamned morning to make it on time for her flight. From what I've heard she's a beast. Yay. Fresh off the plane and we're already looking at weight issues - I suppose we'll see tomorrow exactly what we're dealing with when I get there. At least I'll have a co-worker finally to share the work load and I'll quit being an Army-of-One. I have a shit-load of Monster Energy drinks for the drive up (they're cheaper than Red Bull and pretty much taste the same to me). Sat-turd-day get the rest of my guest bedroom in order. DORK helped me put together a wardrobe last weekend and I treated him to beer, pizza, and the Silent Hill movie. All that's left is to assemble a few drawers and put together a futon and I'm set for the guest that is arriving. Then I have a co-worker's going away party to attend Sat-turd-day night. And FUCKING HOLLY IS FINALLY OUT OF THE MILITARY. PRAISE FUCKING SATAN. I saw that waste of flesh the other day at the gym and just ignored her. Perhaps I should be a complete dick-hole to her when I see her next, but since all the big kids will be present, need to keep it cool. Sunday, wake my ass up again at the butt-crack of dawn and go back up to Frankfurt and pick up my guest. Yes, the Machine has family coming to visit and I am not all that thrilled about it either. But I am a man of my word and when I extend an invitation it's good until otherwise rescinded and I left it open last year just as I was getting kicked out of the house once and for all. They can come to visit any time but I've got a job to do and won't babysit their asses. They can see Europe with or without me for all I care. Perhaps with all the fucking Madness coming to a head soon I'll be able to take a deep breath and fucking relax. Type A personality all the way, no joke, but all this bullshit will come to pass, I am certain. Once the summer has come and gone I think things will simmer down but in the meantime I can't even sit down and take a dump without it being planned out in advance. And I'm not shitting you either (pun completely intended). My arms are burning and my legs are sore from the workout session today at the gym. DORK is really fucking motivating me to push myself on the weights and it's starting to show. Already I'm developing some serious fucking triceps and my biceps are coming along quite nicely as well. My legs are practically chiseled from all the running and the lower extremity weight lifting I do as well. I am no where cut but I am on the right road to getting there. It just takes time, patience, and dedication. And of course DORK has more hot and cold pussy running on tap than he knows what to do with. Too bad the fucker is faithfully married, otherwise I could encourage the dude to get me the hook-up or something. I hate The Cure with a passion but for once Robert Smith got it right - "Why Can't I Be You" as that whiney song goes. Goddammit.

Dreams

I really don't get all hung up in the symbology of dreams the same way alot of people do. All those stupid books in the market out there are just a waste of money. Send me your $20 instead of handing it to some two-bit charlatan sporting a comb-over and more fake charisma than a used-car salesman. But I digress. Like I've mentioned previously I suffer from insomnia - I don't sleep when I close my eyes - I drift in between consciousness, never fully getting the rest I need, since there's alot of shit on my mind and I have to wake up within a few hours anyways. Last night was different. I had the most fucked up, funny in a sick way kinda dream and I dunno how it happened. It can only be work-related stress and that's all I can put it at. So here goes - I dreamt that I'm chilling in some place that resembles a 70's bungalow in Southern California when I get a videotape in the mail. I pop it in the VCR (not DVD player) and see a former girlfriend of mine getting fucked 9 ways from Sunday by 2 dudes. We're talking mega-bukkake action and everything. The tape was sent anonymously and she's really digging the action too. I kinda get this weird disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach yet at the same time I think it's fucking awesome that she's been reduced to doing underground skin flicks. I'm kicking back, starting to enjoy it all and even begin laughing when a bunch of military assholes in uniform just out of the blue appear and ask me what the hell I am doing watching this thing on a government television. I turn around wondering what the fuck is going on, concerned that I'm going to get some administrative action against me but then I wake up thinking it's time to get up and go to work for real. Instead, it's just 4 am and I don't have to be in to work for at least another 3 hours. So, all you deep-thinking assholes out there can try to interpret what it is this whole thing represents. For me it simply means I'm horny as hell and because my goddamned job is consuming so much of my time, I can't go out and get laid like I want to. Freud and Jung are assholes, and psychology is bullshit. You don't need expensive medication or some asshole sitting in a $5,000 office chair, telling you how you're responsible for both the good and bad in your own life and to just let go of all the baggage you're holding on to when I can tell you the same thing for absolutely free. Easier said than done, but then again the only things worth having in life you have to work for. Now excuse me while I go watch some Asian porn and "relax" a little.

No Signals

No Signals Blog This is some artsy-kinda blog written in Messican that's worth checking out. It reminds me of all the Post-Modern bullshit from the 80's. I'm considering adding it as a permanent link. Enjoy.

Good Bye Lenin

I hate Communists.

As much as I hate Politically Correct assholes, bleeding heart Liberals, douchebag Democrats, and head-up-their-asses Republicans. I am a proud Libertarian at least until something better comes along. While Germany has exported many awesome things, Karl Marx should've stayed at home when he had the chance, instead of espousing his bullshit Manifesto and thereby completely fucking up the world as we know it. Communists are the worst form of bureaucrats around, as there is no incentive whatsoever to take initiative at what they do since they will always have a job - be it a steel worker in Minsk or a prisoner in some Siberian gulag camp. They're the originators of the "Zero Tolerance" policy of the 20th Century since Josef Stalin, Ho Chi Minh, Pol Pot, and Mao Tse Tung have killed and tortured more people than Hitler, Idi Amin or Saddam Hussein ever could.

We had to watch part of this film last night in German class - Good Bye Lenin - a film about the German reunification and how it affects one family. The background of the story is how in Communist Eastern Germany, the husband of a family defects and makes it over the border successfully. Because the wife of this guy is in such shock that he took off leaving her with the kids, she becomes a hard-core Communist as means of dealing with it all. Well, it turns out her son decides to join in with a peace march, protesting how the East Germans want to have more freedom for vacation traveling, and his mother sees him getting attacked by the Stasi (East German Secret Service) and collapses. She ends up in a coma for 3 months and during this time, the Berlin Wall comes down. Upon her recovery the doctor tells her family that any shock to her system would be disasterous since her health is very frail and considers the reunification to be too much for her to handle. So what do they do? They turn their house back into what it looked like under Communist rule and everyone dresses the same and behaves the same. She's bed-ridden the entire time and doesn't know any better.

This is as far as we made it in the film before class ended for the evening. The entire time I'm watching this film my blood starts to boil and this horrible taste begins to develop in my mouth. My stomach muscles tense up and I want to rip the fucking DVD out of the player and throw it outside the window or something. I am completely serious when I say I hate Communism and all the assholes who still believe it was a better system than capitalism. Any form of government that restricts individual liberties is fascist and therefore a cancer to the people who support it, regardless of how they sugar-coat it and Communism is the perfect example of what I mean.

Just as Adolf Hitler is the embodiment of evil to the American public, no expense should be spared casting Karl Marx or any of the other people who have used Communism as their primary means of influence in the same mold. Aside from Gorbachev I can't think of any leader of the Soviet Union who had the balls to say "fuck this bullshit" and realize how insane their whole system was. Kids today who want to wear a fucking Che Guevara t-shirt and think it's "cool" should be sent to Cuba, one-way ticket. People who think the Chinese are so "wonderful" should ask the Dalai Lama when he will be able to return to Tibet. Exactly. Let's not forget Kim Il Sung and his half-wit son Kim Jong Il up in North Korea either.

Perhaps I will ask my German teacher if I can borrow the DVD to see how it ends. I am hoping that the Communist mother finds out how horribly her system of government failed and has an anuerysm and dies. If anything I can continue improving my German comprehensive skills.

-------------------------


Sidenote: That douchebag Karl Marx as it turns out, was born just up the road from where Kaiserslautern is located, in Trier Rheinland-Pfalz. I should go find where his house is and plaster pro-democracy posters right across from it some time. Asshole.

Silent Hill Wrap-Up

Okay. Enough of the Silent Hill talk already. I'll just wrap things up by saying this is one cool UMD for the Sony PSP titled "The Silent Hill Experience" that I picked up before watching the movie the other day. It has an interview with the film director as well as the Japanese dude who did the score for all the games plus the movie. There is a soundtrack you can listen to as well as the Silent Hill comic books that were inspired by the game series in live-motion, live sound format. There is also some hidden material (bonus videos) you can access if you're clever enough to figure them out.

I hope there is more Silent Hill merchandise available. I need to check out the official website and if they have t-shirts or whatever I'll definitely spend it on this stuff this next paycheck instead of spending it friends and bitches.

Priorities.

Silent Hill Review

Tonight Zhombie, Dork and I all piled into my car and went to see Silent Hill at the Kino. I think the movie fucking rocked!!!

Essentially they took the first and second Silent Hill games and combined them into a script for the plot of the movie. This doesn't surprise me considering other movies have done essentially the same thing and have been successful. It's the time-old formula that has always been proven to work. They got the little nuances right too - the fog, the gore, the scene in the school bathroom with the guy strung up in the barbed wire and even that Pyramid Head dude too. Of course let's not forget the nurses, the white noise from the radio or the demonic babies either. I'm glad to say the movie did the video game series justice.

My only gripe is that I envisioned Silent Hill to be located in New Jersey, especially upper New Jersey in the pine barrens. If you've ever been up there, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about and why a town like Silent Hill would fit there perfectly. Plus, New Jersey is home to the Jersey Devil, which could also be the demon referenced in the games and movie. In the movie it turns out Silent Hill is located in West Virginia. I'm splitting hairs over something so stupid but goddammit for the longest time I've been telling complete strangers that's where I'm from on the My Space profile I have!

Zhombie and Dork both liked the film as well, and since neither of them have played the game, it's totally awesome they dig it. I hope they make a sequel but most likely they won't. I will go grab it once it makes its way to DVD, and unlike the DOOM movie I have, it won't sit in the original wrapping unopened. Once the movie let out I was somewhat disappointed that I really couldn't relate more to this experience with my friends the way I wanted to. Eh. I suppose that's the price that comes with being a pioneer.

Silent Hill

Holy Shit. I gotta see this movie. It's at the German cinema (das Kino) and I'm gonna watch it tonight.

For the unenlightened, Silent Hill is a video game series which originated on the Playstation 1 that has spawned 3 sequels on the Playstation 2 (Silent Hill 2,3 & 4 respectively). I picked it up in 1999 and was automatically hooked. Think Resident Evil with a Satanic make-over - it is every bit dark and sinister as you would imagine a game of this nature to be, and have to hand it to the Japanese for making such a kick-ass game that no American company would dare doing since they don't have the same moralistic bullshit cry-baby watch groups dictating what society can and cannot do. Occult games and sexual games are the hot potatos of the console industry that few are willing to touch. My hat off to Konami for having the balls to do such a thing.




I hope the movie does the game series justice. Granted they can't elaborate as much, given the time constraints of the movie and MPAA bullshit standards but all things considered I am keeping high hopes. I have my own ideas about what and where Silent Hill is as a town, so we'll see how different my interpretation is from the movie.

The Ladies Man

Dude. What can I say? DORK is a total fucking lady-killer. And I mean the shit too. Ever since I've been working with him in January I've seen him in action and the guy has a gift or some kinda talent where it just comes natural to him. I mean I've seen hot bitches from all walks of life, complete strangers included, just fucking drop trow and leave snail tracks all over the pavement when talking with him. And what fucking kills me is that he's not trying to get down their panties or anything! He's JUST TALKING to them like a NORMAL PERSON. Today we were at the gym where we're cranking out the sets. The cool thing is that since Dork and I have been working out, I've noticed a dramatic overall increase in my strength in just a relatively short time. The dude really motivates me to fucking push myself, as he's seriously fucking stacked. We're talking AK-47s for "guns" here. Anycase this hottie Russian chick comes up to him - she's a fitness instructor - and asks if her student can work inbetween the sets we're doing - her student is this old beat-up looking beast who has seen better days, and this Russian hottie is a strawberry blonde with blue eyes and is perhaps 90 pounds max weight. She's got curves in all the right places and is sweet as pie. She warms up to Dork, all the while ignoring me and when we're done with the set, let them use the machine, to which she says goodbye to him. Since he's married he's not even trying to score any trim but goddammit if a freak like me tries to sweet talk her she'll look at me like I'm diseased or something. When I was younger shit like this really bothered me. It fucked with my self-esteem a whole helluvalot. Not so much now as it used to, however I have come to learn that when a chick brushes you off, she's really doing you a favor in disguise. In the long run if you hook up with her, she's going to make your life a living Hell with all the bitching and fussing and arguing over stupid shit and in the end she's going to divorce your ass, take the kids and practically everything you own. The way I see it yeah it sucks at times when you want some pussy and you ain't getting none, but it also sucks when you want some pussy and the dumb bitch just won't put out and she's right next to yah. At least this way I can save my money and spend it on the only person who truly matters in life (ME) and that way won't ever be disappointed in what I got or have to get anything in return. I suppose the huge difference between me and Dork is that he's not bitter and spiteful the way I am. Listen all you bitches out there who hate men because they hate women - you get what you and other women have given. You are the pig farmers and have only yourselves to blame when you start calling us pigs for thinking with our dicks. Decent guys like me try to win you over but you go for the asshole instead, reinforcing that kinda behavior and setting the standard for all men. Well if that's what you want then that's what you'll get - from me from now own. You had your chance but you blew it. I'm better off being evil in the long run anyways. So from now on, I should give Dork a different name. Dork the Lady Killer? Lady Killer? LK? I dunno about this but if he ever wanted to make amateur porn he could do it like those websites like Public Invasion.com where the dude goes around with a video camera and pays women on the street to fuck him. Come to think of it that's not a bad idea - although if I were to do that I wouldn't be able to support my video game habit as well. Goddammit.

Insomnia

I do not sleep. I am convinced of this. Instead I close my eyes and drift in between conscious states. Let me clarify. When you sleep you get the rest you need and awaken rejuvenated and ready to take on the world. Your senses are sharpened, your health is in balance and you enjoy going to work and tackling the problems that come your way. I don't do such things. Instead I close my eyes, and dream of work or other fucked up events I have experienced in my waking hours. Five perhaps six hours every night tops, but even then I am tossing and turning and am looking at the clock every 2 hours or so, thinking it is time to get out of bed, shit-shower-&-shave and to repeat the process all over again. I am practically a walking zombie most the time with no sense of time aside from the fact it is either day or night. I experience insomnia, not sleep since I know that I will have to wake up within a few hours once again just to repeat another shitty day on the job. I thrive on stress and 2-liter Pepsi One. By nature I am always on-edge and have the text-book "Type A" personality. I am a control-freak with OCD traits (mixed with narcissism) that is always thinking about the shit that has to be done tomorrow or shit that is done but still pending. It's the last thing I think about before retiring for the evening and usually the first thing that enters my mind once the alarm clock goes off. Perhaps if I was making a real paycheck as a civilian it would all be worth it but my broke ass isn't getting paid shit while being worked like a circus chimp. Heh. Like I've said previously there is SO MUCH SHIT I wanna comment on here about work but due to security reasons I can't. It's just the way it goes, but if you could put 2 + 2 together it would all make sense and you'd see a different angle of me and perhaps get a good laugh in return. What can I say. I think I will get the sleep I need once all this madness subsides. Who knows when that will be. Perhaps I should just drink a shitload of beer or Jack to help in the meantime. Eh.